Do you find that generally people are looking away and seem to avoid holding direct eye contact with you either while talking to you or when you are meeting them for the day and just trying to say hello to them?And you are here to find the reason?Honestly,If you want to find the answer to why someone in particular is avoiding eye contact with you the possibilities are almost endless!The good news is that i will be trying to cover almost all possibilities and if you relate it to your particular context you will most likely find the correct reason why they act like that and you can also do something about it.
Firstly,if you have already established a good rapport,trust and relationship with someone who is avoiding looking you in your eye the best option available to you is asking them smoothly why they are not looking at you and try to get a direct answer from them.This approach is very direct and straight forward in theory but watch out for some pitfalls when you practically implement it.For Starters people don’t give a direct answer or they lie and way led you and thus will make you spend your time and effort in waste.Then,some people get offended when someone directly ask them why they are not looking eye to eye.Recently i happened to introduce my niece to my neighbor John,who is a Jerk by anybody’s standards.He was much older than her and he was saying stuff like why blondes are dumb and talked in a condescending manner.While we were about to part our ways he remarked ‘You were even not able to look me in my eyes’ and my niece shot back with ‘I can look at someone when there is something nice to look at!’. My neighbor was clearly embarrassed and i was having a hard time controlling my smile.By the way,when i asked my niece why she acted that way she said that though she didn’t find him physically repulsive she didn’t like his condescending conversation and wanted to get away as soon as possible.The takeaway from this incident is that i have the following Point to share with everyone.
The following are the list of reasons for someone to look away or to avoid eye contact with you.
1.If someone is looking away and not locking eye contact with you during a Conversation that may be because they are not feeling comfortable with the Topic of the conversation.
So the next time you want to make someone who is looking away to look at your face while you are talking, just change the topic of your conversation and see if you are getting any positive feedback.It is highly likely that the target will look in to your eyes when your topic is interesting to them.There is also another technique to test if they are avoiding eye contact really because they are not comfortable with what you are saying.When they are looking away just say something with their name in it and check if they start looking at you and hold the eye contact for several more moments or not.If someone looks at you when you call their name and immediately away then it is a sure sign that they are feeling uncomfortable with something.For example if you are talking about your supporting views on the recent immigration laws to Billy and you notice Billy is looking away you can test if he is uncomfortable with the topic by saying ‘Do you agree?Billy’ and still you don’t get much eye contact from Billy then that may probably mean that billy holds opposite views and it is much better to change the topic if you want to get further rapport with Billy.
2.If someone is looking away and not locking eye contact with you that may be because they don’t like you.
3.If someone is looking away and not locking eye contact with you that may be because they are shy or feeling anxious or having low self esteem.
4.If someone is not looking at you while talking to you they may be feeling guilty for something that they did or going to do to you or they are hiding something from you.
You can’t say that someone is lying or hiding something from you with 100% certainty just because they are not looking you straight in the eye but watch out for some of the below body language that may accompany avoiding eye contact to confirm for sure.
- Hands touching the neck or the mouth regions.Some People even cover their mouth with fingers.
- Touching their own nose.The hands involuntarily tries to cover the mouth but people become conscious and will try to avert it thus landing the hands on the nose area.
- Scratching the back of the neck and rubbing of the eyes.
5.People Generally avoid eye contact when they are bored or disinterested or they are distracted with something else.