Before i lay down my solutions and healing techniques to help overcome abandonment issues in adults that is carried forward from childhood ,I want to reveal that i am not a psychologist or psychiatrist or anything.I talk from the understanding i gained from my own experience and from the experiences of similar people who were struggling with abandonment issues as adults,with whom i had a chance to interact and help with.
The Fear of abandonment is a traumatic feeling experienced not just by children.It is a issue faced by adults across all ages and seniors also. Most of us think that people with the fear of abandonment acquired it because they have lost someone who loved them and are very close to them during their childhood,like a father or mother or both parents.While that is true to some extend many people may exhibit all the symptoms of abandonment issues but they may not have lost their parents.The reason can be a lot of things,Maybe they were Emotionally abandoned by parents who were too busy to physically and emotionally care for their children or they may have just grown up with the wrong Perception that their parents don’t care and love them and they may have based their perception on some specific incidents and memories from childhood.
Abandonment Issues can be categorized in to two Types
Physical abandonment is what a child goes through when he/she loses one or both of their Parents and have to relocate to live with a distant relative.It can also be when the father or mother has left the family to live with some other person.
Emotional Abandonment is when a Person who is very close to you suddenly stopped loving and caring for you.Or it can be that even though you grow up with both your parents you felt that you didn’t receive the love and care you needed as a Child.Make no mistake,Emotional Abandonment is equally painful like Physical Abandonment.
- Signs and Symptoms of Abandonment issues in adults
If you are single….
- Do you feel lonely and Bored and you yearn for that special someone you always dream about.Yet, when you come across someone resembling the one in your dream ,you avoid them.You avoid talking to them,avoid even seeing them because deep inside you feel you are not worthy of them.But you daydream that that special person will fall in love with you stalk you and get in to a relationship with you.
- Are you Jealous of other people in relationship? Are you jealous and cry in your heart when someone you are attracted to talks and mingles socially with other people?
- Are you over emotional ?You have grown up still you react like a child in specific situations and people.
- Do you suppress your emotions and try hard not showing any emotions to other people?
- Do you second-guess and rewind and playback every single thing you said in a conversation because it will be misinterpreted by others and start worrying?
If you are in a relationship…
1.Do you try hard and go out of your ways to impress your partner because you want to keep them and you don’t want to get abandoned.
2.Do you suspect that your partner will leave you for someone else and keep a watchful eye on them?Are you clingy and needy and make your partner suffocated?
3.Do you fall for unavailable partners who don’t care about you and for people who are way below your league?
If you are a Parent…
- Do you feel uncontrollable anger and get upset at your child when they cry loudly or Talk loudly or when they put you in specific situations outside your comfort zone?
- Do you blame your children for everything and expect them to behave like adults.Do you expect them to take responsibility for their feelings, thoughts, and behaviors, but you yourself are not good at it?
- You want your kids to be more emotionally intelligent and have the social skill that you lacked.But,when they learn and mirror your behavior you get nervous and you shout and get mad at them.