How to feel excited about life again after a breakup

Most people feel that a Break-up is the end of their life.There is so much life to live after a heartbreak but some people think to end up your life by taking wrong decisions .To be strong during break up is somewhat hard only, but it is not impossible. You can change the impossible to possible by bringing out  little changes in your mind set. That’s so simple as that. Break up is normal happening these days  and you should be well prepared to accustom whatever the worst comes in your life because you never know what will happen at the next second in your life. If you are ready to handle this situation this article will help to find ways of handling the same in a positive manner.

Feel excited again in life after breakup
Feel excited again in life after breakup

Be Practical:

Set right your mind. Understand that pain is normal to all and you are not the exemption for that. Accept the pain and adjust your mind set according to the situation. You are not the only person in the world who experienced break up and there is more and more number of persons waiting in the court queue daily for their separation legally. Whatever the case it may be, from just married couples who lived together for just 2 or 3 months to long lived couples for 20 or 30 years. So you should not feel that you are the unique in this world struggling worse. There are many more known/unknown cases that are even worse than you. This is true and you should believe it

Cry Loud

Let the sorrow be out from your mind in the form of tears. Recent Research tells,” Those who cries a lot in their sadness relieves quickly than those who didn’t cry”. So, don’t feel shy to cry. If you keep your sorrows within you dumping in the brain itself, it increases the pressure, affects your nervous systems which in turn make you sick.  Cry loud and release your sorrow to go off from you. Try someone’s shoulder that you can trust.   Allow your tears to shed and be feel relaxed

Identifying and find the root cause

Imagine you and your girl friend are dating for the last 4 or 5 years and consider the terrible situation that you two have been break up recently somehow or  other due to some reasons. It’s really pathetic..Know?  Maximum Try to convince her for the thing which made you for break up. Be honest in your reason and don’t ever try to cheat the lady love. It’s not good for a healthy life. Tell her that error is human nature. Promise her for not repeating the same mistake. Not only the same mistake, try to mostly avoid any kind of mistake which hurts her.  Most probably she will be convinced if both of you have a good understanding.  Speak with her open heartedly. Most of the problem in this world will be solved if both the side’s views are spoken clearly without any ego. Even problem between two countries is solved by UNO just by conversation and by examining their views. Or otherwise it will lead to war between two countries. If a war can be stopped by mutual and open discussion why not yours. So try definitely you will be succeeded

Analyze your inner thought

Breakups can make you to doubt your self worth. It may make you to feel “You are useless and fit for nothing” or “you are the victim and this breakup will ruin your life”. Remember these are your own feeling and most probably these things are not as true as you feel. Worldly things are different from your inner feel. Sometimes it is totally controversial.   Change your mind to think as “This is not my fault” and “You are in pain now and Anyway it will be OK shortly “.

Think about the positive and good character you have. Think about any help you did to your friend and his appreciation how supportive you are?

Avoid violence activity like punching the door, hitting the car, breaking the glass or even tearing the pillow. It will not definitely going to solve your problem and it increase your anger and pressure only.

Distract your mind

Don’t going on thinking about the past thing-the breakup. What happened is happened only. You are not going to rewind back to the Past and set right the things. However it is not possible also to restructure a thing which happened in the past since time can’t be brought back.  Instead allow your mind to concentrate on creative things . Keep yourself busy.

If you know painting, try to paint a natural scene with mountains and rivers. Paint a smiling baby face. It decreases your tension.

Write a poem on your own. Don’t care about the grammar mistake. As per medical studies, Writing cut down your tension and stress into half

Hear Good music. Listening to music throws away all your depression and makes you fresh

Go to a pub and dance. Dancing skill makes both your body and mind active

Read nice books. Reading self confidence books will boost your energy.

Don’t again and again feel about the break up only and try to distract the mind to any of the above said thing since distraction is the immediate medicine which will heal the mind wound and relieves pain

Positive self improvement Quotes

The result of break up surely makes you to feel unworthy and making negative things to enter your mind. You may think “You are unlucky or your life is full of destruction and sorrows or success is far away from your life” .Don’t let this type of things in your mind. Paste the following proverbs in the hand wash mirror, windows or doors

You are the special person in the world and you are here to achieve something in the world

You are capable and nobody is equivalent to you

God is always with you and you can do anything with his blessings

You are here to make wonder in the world

Nobody will replace your position and you are such a valuable person

You are lovable and caring and many more people need you

Stick these messages wherever possible and often see this

Throw away the mementos and gifts

Get rid of your ex’s things you have. Throw it off to dustbin. Do you think holding your ex’s photo or any gift with you will change the situation. Past is past. It will hold you from healing and not allow moving on. Don’t visit places where you used to meet your ex. identify a new date spot and try to form new relationship.

Never try to contact your Ex. Delete his/her phone number from the contact list.

Remember keeping things of a relationship you don’t have any more will nothing to do

Stay away from phone. Block the contact. Don’t look up the pages in social media.

Exercise

Exercise is the best way to vent of tension and stress. Regular exercise will keep you to stay fit and calm. Endorphins which released in brain during exercise makes you feel happy. Allot at least 30 minutes time daily.

Travel and stay outdoors

Meet your friends and plan for an outing. Go to hill station. Have a nice bath in waterfalls. Go for a trekking. Light campfire and sing your favorite song with friends. A change of place will definitely bring you a change in mind state. Enjoy the nature up to the full swing.   Laugh with your friends as Laughter is the best medicine for pain.

Outlook change

Go to Spa and change your hair style. By changing the hairstyle you really get a new look. Keep in mind this new look should be in the way which should boost your confident level.

Join a gym. Bring your physic in shape. Having fit body increases confident within you.

Visit shopping mall and buy a perfect outfit which fits your shape. Try for a new variety which you never wear.

Try to bring a change within you.

Getting a new opportunity and changing your interest over other

Your girl friend/ wife may have breakup with you. Do you think “Life is over just because of this single person?”  Get Lesson from this breakup. Understand this is just a part of life. Also remember he/she is not the exact pair may be and that’s why you met with break up without mutual understanding. Utilize the opportunity. Now you are free and you may get a chance to find out a real apt pair for you. Identify a person who really impresses you as per your taste. Do you think that your Ex is the single available opposite sex in the world for your love or to live together? There are plenty of people who will love you even better than your Ex. Start a new happy life

 

How to handle and deal with disappointment in relationships

Why do we feel Disappointment in a relationship?

How to handle disappointment in relationships
How to handle disappointment in relationships

Disappointment is a thing which all of us don’t want to experience in our life somehow or other. What is Disappointment? It is just a feeling when you expect something and it doesn’t materialize the way you expected it to be. If you get Disappointment that means you are expecting something from others. Here I would like to explain the fact that the reason behind the disappointment is nothing but Expectation. So expect less from others. Increase your contribution instead of expecting other to do for you. If you decrease your expectation level your disappointment will also be eventually decreased. Totally shorten your expectation then naturally you don’t have to meet disappointment at all. This is the main thing you should follow in order to avoid disappointment.

Above one is one important way to avoid disappointment in your life. Now let us see the other ways how to handle disappointment in relationship in detailed manner

Understand the Reality

Always try to understand and read the reality of the situation . Let us do a casestudy.For example ,let’s say you are planning to surprise your partner by taking her outside for dinner tonight and you are returning by car from Office earlier than usual time. Remember that even you have not informed her about the plan. But when you reached home and found that your partner is not there and gone to visit her friends place without telling you. How do you feel in this situation? Definitely you will feel disappointed and you immediately call her and shout at her and express your anger over phone itself which paves the way for more misunderstandings to grow in your relationship. Here in this Particular situation you should have patience and trust for a while that your spouse will not go anywhere without informing you and that she would have a real good reason to do so. May be there must be any emergency situation for a need for your partner to be present there. No point in waiting anxiously and imagining negative thought till she returns back. Moreover you yourself have not informed her about the dinner outside and how should you expect her to inform you. Today is not the end day and you shall go for dinner tomorrow also. So this example just shows why you should not get disappointed for this simple thing and try to find the reality behind the scene.

Letting your feelings out

If your major life goal is suddenly closed you will definitely get disappointed and you may go in to a mourning stage. In this time, let your emotions out and cry. According to Medical Science, letting your emotion is healthier than suppressing it. Don’t feel ashamed to cry. Go to any private place like your bed room or bath room let your emotion out in the way of tears and cry as much as possible until you feel relaxed. Bring back your mind to the normal stage and come out.

Identify the reason

If something went wrong and you feel disappointed then try to find the root cause for the disappointment. Take a paper and write down what are all the reasons for your failure. Analyze it on all ways and find the fact. Write a note for better improvement. Think what all the possible ways for development are. After finding the failure reason, omit it and never ever do the same mistake next time. Create a better environment and move forward.

Put Continuous Effort

If you get disappointed, don’t get frustrated. Patience and calmness are the two eyes you should see through on that time for handling disappointment.  Induce Positive thinking. Imagine what all the possible ways to handle the situation are. Suppose you have some misunderstanding with your partner and you felt really sorry for that and approach her for apology. But she denies to speak with you .Really your condition will be pathetic, no? Don’t let your hope down. Do something which influences her. Try to do any one activity which she urges you to do generally at the normal time. Do small small help in her kitchen activity. This will make her to let anger out. Keep on trying until she turns to you and show the sign of smile in her face. You should do it in such a way that your softer approach towards her will make her to bring back the normal situation. Everything will be OK then if she is back to normal

Have Perspective look

Suppose your girl friend broke up with you instead of proposing, naturally you feel upset and pain. But realize that you are still bachelor and not married and have the opportunity to date many persons. Always ask yourself “Will this matter one year from now? A month? One week? Anyway you are going to be married shortly, Right? After marriage, the new person will be there to take care you and in the next few months you even better love your wife more than your girl friend. You participated in a competition and not awarded. Will this matter when you come up with pass grade in semester? You are supposed to play in Football finals and you are injured right now which is unfortunate, but you can play next year. Often asking this type of questions in your mind relieve you and help you to come out from the disappointment

Don’t let your mind to fill with small small rubbish things and all. Be clear and have positive approach always .

Utilizing the existing opportunity

Let us consider that you have applied for a famous top rated college in the city and it is your long time dream to study in. It’s a terrible news when you come to know that you didn’t get an admission. But you can still continue the studies and you have the opportunity to go to second choice college. You can even score good marks here and try to have university first degree in this college and join your college of your dreams for a Post graduate study. Always try to utilize the given opportunity and don’t feel and sulk about the unavailable one. Make your mind to accept and embrace the available opportunity.

Same will be the case if you attended an interview very well and expecting a job from a esteemed big organization that didn’t come through. Don’t get disappointed. May be lots and lots of opportunities are waiting outside to fulfill your desire and don’t get tensed for the chance you didn’t get. May be that opens the door to apply for other job that you really don’t expect which one may be really good than the previous company

Learn from Mistake and Accept

For instance, you are received a divorce notice from your partner for a legal break-up. Surely you feel bad for the situation. First, try to explain her and make her feel comfort. Always be true with your partner.  Ask her not to take hasty decisions. Know the reason from her which makes her to issue the notice .Avoid those mistakes and correct yourself. Explain her what happened is happened and Promise her for not doing the same mistake again hereafter and start for the new Happier life.

Comparing with the worst

Be grateful and thankful for what you are having presently. Don’t care about the lost one. You will note that there are lot more good things in your life than bad. Thank God for that. Compare your  disappointment with the real worst affected persons like those who lost their home to fire, lost their lives in flood, lost leg or hand in Accident. If you do this you get a clear picture nothing this bad has ever happened to you.  Now you may feel that you are in a better situation than most others.

Spend time with Family and friends:

Moving out with your Mom or your best buddy will make you feel better and recover from the disappointment you had. Seek her advice. Discuss with someone how they handled the same problem if they have been in similar situation before. Listen to good music. Music will help to heal the wound.

Read some inspirational books and underline the sentence what you like the most. Get inspired on reading. Read optimistic books which inspires you. Take a long walk .

Disappointment is an emotion which occurs when what you want to happen doesn’t happen. Keep that in mind.

Keep hope alive. Keeping hope alive is the success mantra for happier life. Stay optimistic. Keep things positive and all of the good things will happen automatically