How to not get upset or angry over small things

Getting upset or angry is human nature. Misunderstanding, work stress and conflict are some of the reason to get upset. Everybody gets tensed and upset if a situation arises that does not favor them. Does every situation  that we are put in to our daily lives always favors us? No, certainly not. It is impossible too. So it is better to know how to not get upset over these small things by making little changes to your thought process when you cannot change the environment. With a little knowledge and continuous practice, you can overcome your habit of getting upset over little things and you will be able to be happy in your life.

How to not get upset over small things
How to not get upset over small things

These techniques on how to not get upset or angry over small things will help you save you from frustration and trouble that you may be currently facing in your real life.

One Second Technique:

The moment you have decided to read this article you have taken the first step towards getting rid of your old habit of getting upset over trivial   things. It’s good to see you here. Kindly note that in the topic itself it is mentioned as ”small things”. Hence the first and basic step you should understand before getting pressure is to identify yourself the reason whether it is really worth to get tensed in this place, time and particularly for that small thing. If you think about that for a while, really you will feel that you don’t need to get tensed. A one second thinking will definitely bring miracle in that situation and it will totally change the conflict situation to a pleasant one.You will not understand the power of this technique unless and until you practice it in real life situations.

Changes in Body:

Do you know what really happens to your body if you get tensed? Actually our nervous system gets frustrated . This frustration automatically accelerates heart to beat faster, muscles become harder and sweating will be high. It disturbs your total Central Nervous system and makes you weaker. So Physically sitting or lying in a relaxed posture and wearing loosely fitting clothes and taking a pleasant shower will cool your state of mind considerably.

Take a deep Breath:

Whenever you are in angry mood, inhale deeply and have a deep breath. This will force you to intake more oxygen to your brain and it slows down your heart beat rate. Breath 4 or 5 times deeply at angry stage and you feel yourself that your mind is becoming fresh and calm. You will definitely feel your mind’s  change of state quickly

Counting Numbers:

This is also a one of good practice to calm down your mind. That too Counting the numbers in reverse order will even give much benefit than normal counting. This will allow you to distract you from your angry state of mind to some kind of counting concentration. Imagine you are feeling better and better when you are moving to the next number. You can do this exercise anywhere whether you are at Work place, home, theater , shopping mall and anywhere you feel when some situation arises that frustrates you.

Move out from Upset situation:

Suppose let us consider the situation that you are upset with your wife for a thing she has done already and you know that the situation is going to escalate to a quarrel shortly. During times like this, it will help you a lot if you move out physically from that place instead of arguing with her for some act which she had already committed. First stand up from that place, wear your shirt, tell her that you are really upset and go outside. Physically removing yourself and avoiding the unfavorable situation  is one of the best practice to follow to stop getting upset easily.

P.S :Someone commented that it is a bad idea to walkout of a situation and it is better to stand and face it.Yes,That is true for certain cases but remember we are talking about what to do when you face small issues. These kind of issues generally tend to fade away if you don’t make it bigger by saying or doing something stupid in the heat of the situation.

Take a Long Walk:

Walking is a good exercise to let your mind that upset feeling down. Try to find a park nearby your place or a nature green field.  Walk as much as possible. Imagine that each step you are letting your frustration down through your feet. Increase your number of rounds in park  until you feel calm and comfort.Ideally you can combine it with the previous technique to make it more effective. ie.. when you move out from the problem situation you can go out and take a walk by the Park.

Accept your Thought:

Try to observe your thought at the time of anger and frustration. Accept that you are upset. Getting Upset is a natural human emotion and we are experiencing from time to time. That’s all. Make a note of the reasons for why you should get angry? Make a list of it. Analyse yourself the reason that whether it is really worth and try to avoid that thing from the next time on wards. If the reason is a valid one try to accustom yourself to the real thing.

Self Realization:

Imagine that you are driving your new car. Think that a car from your rear side is trying to overtake yours And for that he is driving rashly and even coming closer like hitting the car and making scratches. Really you will feel upset right? On that time you should practice to tell yourself that these overtaking and rash driving are common while driving. We should not get tensed or upset for this  and all. Becoming upset instead of driving will even worse your driving skills and it will lead to disturb your concentration in driving and thereby making some other accident to occur. So calm yourself by saying “Some people are like this only.” You won’t be able to change the world. Instead  try to change yourself by not getting upset over small things.

Listen to Music:

Music has an extraordinary power to bring back calmness in your disturbed mind. Everyone loves to hear music, right? It’s a scientific and proven method to get yourself relaxed. There is no language for Music hence you can hear whatever you like whether it is classical, jazz, pop or rock. But some sort of classical and light music are more effective to spread happiness in both your mind and soul.

Overtaking Negative Thoughts:

Humans are generally well accustomed to negative thought rather than positive thinking. But you should compensate that negative thought by indulging positive thought over it and thereby creating a happier situation to yourself.  Sometimes you may think that “Nothing happens right for me, everything always getting messed up”. In this time you should change your thinking as “ Everything will be alright sooner” “The Day is mine and I will achieve it with the almighty “ “ I have ability to do and I will prove to world who am I” . Like this you have to re frame your thoughts by analyzing it

Do Physical Work

Doing physical work will release your tension. It will give you some sort of relaxation on completing the work. Go to your garden, pour water to all the plants. On finishing this activity, you will definitely feel a happier state of mind on seeing the faces of flowers which silently smiles and thanking you for watering it.

  • Clean unwanted garbage in the garden
  • Cut unwanted branches in the tree
  • Do Exercise  and regular exercise will relax and regulate your mood

Meditation:

Meditation is the best way to lower your stress level. Regular practice of meditation helps you to keep always in a happier mind. Early morning meditation improves your mind ability and it gives you always a free state of mind

Try this simple steps when you get frustrated try to practice these techniques on how to not get upset or angry over small things.

How to Change your drinking habit – Part Two

Today you can see most of the people around us are addicted to any one of the bad habits. Somehow or other they are addicted and now they are struggling to come out from the same. They even don’t know what to do to overcome this habit. Whatever the habit, whether the habit is minor one like biting the nail with your teeth or major health ruining habits like smoking / liquor drinking, a small conscious effort will make you to get away the habit from you. If you are the person who is looking for the remedy and by chance you are reading this article, I can tell for sure that you are the most blessed one.

Change drinking habit
Change drinking habit

Make a note:

If you are a person willing to overcome a habit, Put a habit notebook separately and enter your actions. Watch yourself for at least one week or 10 days.  Try to make note of the habit on regular intervals, whenever you do the habit or feel tempted to perform it. This helps you to find yourself how often you are forced to practice the habit. After analyzing the frequency of doing, slowly cut down the numbers. If suppose you are addicted to junk food for 5 times a day, try to bring the no. of times from 5 to 4 per day , then from 4 to 3, like this. This will help you to minimize the habit and at certain stage you find yourself out of the habit naturally.

Think over the bad effects of the bad habit

If you feel that everything goes smoothly from morning to evening till the time comes for you  touching the alcohol and you are very much aware that drinking is not good for health and still you are not  able to stop? .Well. Think over the aftermath of drinking which happens suddenly consuming liquor. First of all, you yourself don’t know what you are doing under the influence of alcohol. That is, you are doing thinks even without your knowledge. You may experience the situation that you and your friend would have gone together for boozing last night and if you see him at morning he will not speak with you or even he will stare at you. You didn’t know what exactly happened yesterday night and after that you come to know the real situation that there was a quarrel between you and your companion. Just a liquid makes you to do things without your conscious. Only animals do things without their knowledge .You are human..right?. Definitely you may experience the hangover tomorrow morning which makes you to feel uncomfortable. It is an obstacle for doing your duty. Your regular works are affected by this headache it produces. Finally all your works are spoiled just due to the intake of alcohol last night.

Mainly, your social status will be completely diminished.

Think about the health problems like Tuberculosis, cancer formed due to smoking and liver bulging, , jaundice,  heart attack, nervous weakness due to liquor drinking. Kindly note here if you have any problem in kidney it may be adjusted since humans are having 2 kidneys. if one is affected , it can be managed by the other one or even you can undergo kidney transplantation or something like that. But if Liver is affected, nothing can be done.  No transplantation can be made. Such a difficult and wonderful part it is. Jaundice is a silent killer.

Think about the family for a while

Think about the situation of your family if suppose something has happened to you. You may definitely have beautiful partner, lovable kids and affectionate parents.  Who will look after them? Who will take care them?

Anybody will replace your loss? Moreover is there any replacement? You are unique and no one should fulfill your place.  If you feel next time to think about smoking/ drinking, bring all this things into your mind. Think for a while. Why should you want to spoil your own health and put your near and dears into unpleasant situation.  Those who are having real affection with their family won’t do this habit if they think about these things…Right? Hope you are also having true affection?

Changing the game over

Keeping all this things in mind, try to avoid this bad habit by paying little attention over it. If you feel to have liquor, change your mind set. Go to a super market and have any health drink. It will improve your stamina. Have real fresh juices like Mango, Orange and grapes. It contains more vitamins.

If you feel smoking, have a cup of green tea instead. It will refresh you. It will make you to do your work more active. Chew bubble gum whenever you feel smoking. It is an exercise for your face making the muscles stronger and brings your face a correct shape.

Keeping Stomach full

This is one of the easiest ways to avoid drinking. Don’t let your stomach to feel hungry. If you feel hungry, give something to grind your intestine. At any cost don’t leave your stomach empty. Because an empty stomach can induce drinking feel. If you keep your stomach full, then you are not possible to take anything more and gradually you won’t take alcohol also.

Getting rid of habit temptation

Takeaway all the things which makes you to remember the habit. If you are a regular drinker, take away all the old bottles from your house and throw it in dustbin. Don’t meet people who tempt you to drink. Avoid those persons. They are more dangerous. They themselves will not recover from the habit and never allow others like you to recover. First of all, cut their friendship.

If you cross or visit places which makes you to feel drink. Don’t go there. Instead take alternate direction and travel in some other way or street.

If you are accustomed to drink daily by a certain time, utilize the time for any other creative work . Engage yourself. Spend quality time with your children. Play with them. Go to nearby park with your kids and discuss with them. Have a friendly chat. This will make them to feel happy and pleasant.

Avoid the objects, people and places which force you to fall in the habit.

Other way around

Consider you are a snacks eater often and you want to get rid of the bad habit. Move the junk food to difficult to access location in your kitchen/ dining hall. Delete the food items from your purchase list. Next time if you go to shopping mall, move away from the junk items section. Buy protein rich items instead. Don’t visit that particular area. Take with you the exact money for the purchase and don’t take with you any extra/ additional money so that you can avoid buying it.

If you think that you are spending most of your time with mobile itself wasting precious time unwanted and planning in mind not to practice it anymore. Attend calls only if you feel it as important. Avoid unnecessary argument with friends over phone.  Try to convey the matter in simple way. Close the subject short and sweetly. Try not to roaming always on internet. Don’t view unnecessary advertisement. Activate Airplane mode. Suppose If you are In hall, keep the phone in some other room.

Making the habit unpleasant

Adding extra thing to the habit for the sake of making it unpleasant is the other way to come out from the habit. Good example for this is nail biting. If you feel you are a continuous nail bitter, apply something on your nail which you don’t like or makes you to irritate. There are some products available which gives bad odor or souring taste each time you bring your finger near your mouth to bite.

Be cautious

If you feel yourself that you are suppose going to do the habit again, keep thinking yourself that you are succeeding in the process of practicing the bad habit to let off and you should not return to the same nasty condition again. Give orders to your mind “Don’t do it, Don’t do it” continuously. Get away from the situation. If your smoking friend is taking one from cigarette pocket, tell him “No thanks. No thanks”. Change the topic and start speaking some other interesting subject. So that you are also able to escape from the compulsion scenario.

Appreciate yourself

If you find Success in achieving your target of leaving the bad habit for the first time, Award and appreciate yourself. See the level of confidence you had on that time. Give simple treat to yourself. It may take several attempts to reach this stage. But don’t give up. Be positive. Once you taste the success, you will be able to follow it continuously.

Change the place

Relieving from the habit will be made possible if you are put in a different location. A change of place will place a new change in your life. Because old and same place may induce you to do the habit again and again. Brain is accustomed in that way only. Go for a weekend trip. Visit new places with friends/ family.  Enjoy the different situation

Utilizing the same time for good one

If you have been wasted 2 or 3 hours per day for drinking and now you are trying to come out from the bad thing…Good. Use this time for a more creative and useful purpose.  Join a drawing class. Bring out the artist within you. If you don’t know how to swim, join swimming class. It will be very useful when a critical situation arises. Why not try for a gym? Improve your body physic and structure. Be healthy.

Exercise regularly

Exercise will bring you out from the habit and make you feel comfortable. If you start giving importance to maintain your health, you won’t again go for the bad habit which affects the health. So practice exercise

Seek help

If you feel disguised, contact your friend or well wisher who is having true interest over you . Put your ears on their advise. Call them whenever you feel negative. Ask them to give you some examples of how they left the habit

Meditation

When you feel you are going to fall in the bad habit again, immediately meditate. Stop doing things whatever it may be. Close your eyes and be feel yourself strong that you have capacity to overcome this simple thing. It is nothing to you and feel you have more powers within you.  Think “You can and certainly you will be”.

How to change your drinking habit and stop negative thoughts

Most people start to develop the habit of drinking alcohol in their teen.Drinking is a habit which starts in their life as a fun thing to do with friends to socialize but on continuous usage it ruins their life completely . These days we come across many people who become addict to this habit and most of them start feeling guilty for not able to overcome this habit. Even celebrities have lost their life and carrier to this bad habit.

By the end of this session, you will definitely have confidence to at least take the initial steps  to overcome this habit.

Change Drinking Habits
Change Drinking Habits

Beginning stage of drinking:Typically a person starts to drink either in parties just for fun or due to the compulsion of friends. Those who don’t give in to friends compulsion to drink or to social pressure are the blessed ones and they are the strong minded people. This article is only for the remaining people  who wants to quit this habit and have tried everything but failed.

Basic step-Have Real faith:If you have decided to quit the drinking habit it means that you have already taken the first step towards a  happier and healthier life. But be cautious the step you have taken should go forward only and in any situation you should not take a backward step. For this, you should have strong faith/ belief in your inner conscious. The not so good news is that getting confidence at initial stage is somewhat hard . But it is 100 % possible if we undergo some continuous training. To get this confidence, everyday while getting up from the bed, you have to tell yourself that I have planned to stop drinking habit and May God give power and ability not to touch alcohol at least for today at any cost. This is simple but very powerful technique to avoid alcohol. By keeping on avoiding on a day by day process at a certain stage you yourself will be surprised that you have been away from that habit for  a long period.

Mindset for quitting:We can see most of the people who have started practicing quitting drinking habit will abandon their resolution at the beginning stage itself due to their incorrect thinking of what their friends will think about them. Don’t let others to decide your life. You live your own life. No one has rights to interfere in your life and it is you who have full ability to shape your life happier. Don’t worry about your friends and  particularly drinking companions who make fun of you. Let them criticize but think that ultimately you are going to benefit truly rather than them .

Doctors Advice:A Moderate drinker shall quit drinking habit even without consulting the doctor. But if you have the following symptoms it is better to consult a doctor for counseling

  • No concentration at work
  • Getting tensed for small small things also
  • Postponing important things to do and instead spending that time in drinking
  • Fast Heart Beat
  • Frequent sweating
  •  Anxiety
  • Unwanted and Frequent quarrel with Friends, Family & with co-workers
  • Less interest for other activities except drinking
  • Not feeling hungry

It is advisable and better to recover with the help of Medical assistance for the described cases.Never think that you are doing this alone, there are plenty of people around you like your spouse, parents, good friends, well wishers and Medical team want to help you.

Quitting Attitude:Don’t plan to hide your quitting idea to others. There is nothing shame on this. You are not going to give up a good friend or cheating others. Instead you yourself shape your own life with good things. You can openly and strongly let the world to know that you are in the liquor quitting process . This open announcement itself changes the thought about you for some good reasons. So be open to others.

A Friend’s Story Indeed:Here I would like to tell about one of my newly married Friend’s story whose life was totally affected by drinking habit and how he overcame after lot of struggles.Unlike others he also used to start that habit occasionally in parties or with friends once in a month or week. Life went smoothly while it was under his control and the problem started whenever he exceeds the limit.

Due to that he used to quarrel daily  with his wife over small things and so there was no opportunity  for them to mutually understand others.

On the other hand at work place, the habit had made him not to reach Office at time, not possible to concentrate at work, not allowing to finish the job on time etc. Further the alcohol smell which came from him made the coworkers feel disgusted and it forced them to complaint about him to management.

So with all these black marks against him the Management decided to take action against him and fire him from service. The pressure about the suspension from duty and this jobless situation gradually paved the way for him to drink more .(since he had plenty of time)

Note: Here I insist that before he was accustomed to drinking habit he was such a nice person, very prompt on his duty , cared for his family and friends, organized & Participated in all social activities and public functions etc.

In the mean time his wife was conceived and it was about time to give birth to the baby.

Not even carrying about her pregnancy his alcoholic addiction made him to continue  his quarrel till delivery. This situation affected both her body and mind and as a result of this she was not able to give birth to the baby and the fetus expired in her womb itself prior to delivery.

After sometime due to the lack of proper understanding he was separated from his wife also legally.

He lost his life, career, reputation, social status, wife and his child.

At this point of time you should think over it about the reason behind all these problems in his life?

Just because of alcohol.

So you should get rid of that enemy from your life which ruins all your pleasure.

Days gone and due to the effort of his well wishers he is alright now and leads the life without alcohol .Am very happy about his recovery and he is very much better than his earlier life and very well settled also.

Returning to the article, lets continue our ways to quit drinking habit

Have Food Often

Whenever you have drinking thought, eat something what you like most. Eating a meal before drinking will eventually reduces the interest of drinking. Avoid hungry feeling. Keep your stomach full filled always. Because if you fulfill your stomach there is no possibility for you to take alcohol.

You can even drink lot of water if you feel the urge to drink.

Change your schedule

If you used to drink regularly at a particular time or particular place means, try to utilize that time in a different activity. For example, imagine you are drinking daily at 7’o clock at night after returning from work home. Instead go to Church, park , read books, have good conversation with friends .You yourself try to deviate from that mood. This will help you to decrease the chance of drinking

Similarly if you are tensed to drink if you cross over a particular place like where wine shop is located, avoid going over there. Instead you can change your direction and take diversion and take some other alternative way to reach your place.

By doing like this, you can reduce the chances for drinking significantly

Avoid ‘Glass mates’

If you started to follow alcohol quit process, first I insist you to not to stay in touch with your drinking friends. Stay away from them. Most of them will even comment and will force you to take alcohol. Keep in mind and no cost you should not get back from your step and be confident

 

Here to raise confident level, am providing you the idea of practicing meditation. Meditation is the best way to keep yourself calm and to have positive energy. It will help you to develop good thought and good feelings in you. You should hear about the Saints and Sithars in India who got so many powers through Meditation which even you will not imagine. That much power Meditation will give to you

Support Team

Nowadays so many institutions and welfare organization are available to give their support hand for the needy who are willing to avoid the monster named alcohol.

Seek the help of Alcohol Anonymous (AA) an organization for the prosperity of liquor addicts which spread all over the world. They will help your speedy recovery from this habit

Many Alcohol de-addiction centers are there now ready to do service for drink addicts to restrain.

You should remind yourself that if you were willing to try quitting so many times in the past, you have the ability to try again. Please remember this. There is no age limit nor is it ever too late to try to quit drinking. Even if the last thing that you do is quit, the victory of quitting pays for itself and gives hope to other people. Above anything,First your health will be in sound condition. Your name in the society turns good and the social respect you re going to earn is marvelous

Think of something that Inspires you and motivates you.

Believe you can do it

Everything is possible for you and every power is within you

God is always with you so nothing can stop you

I hope you are now very much confident to quit alcohol.My final advice is once you stop the thoughts about drinking you will stop the drinking habit,so develop positive thoughts in your mind and you will succeed quitting the habit and in your life.

Read more mindset changes required to change your drinking habits below

How to Change your drinking habit – Part Two

 

How to stop ruminating negative incidents again and again in your Mind

People ruminate negative incidents again and again in their Mind,and it is definitely harmful for the mind and body in more than one ways.The trick is knowing how to stop ruminating …I recommend a simple NLP pattern to people who write to me asking for ways to stop their negative thoughts right in their track .You too can do that with a simple NLP trick based on sub modalities that i learned from Richard bandler(from a old video seminar)
Let’s say someone stepped on a banana peel and fell down and felt embarrassed when people who were watching laughed.Normally what people will do is to replay this scene again and again and start feeling more and more embarrassed.The ideal thing to do is to forget that this scene ever happened.What if there is a way to cut this scene entirely from our memory?Truth is…There is a way to do this exactly.Just that it is buried deep in the fluff and other psychological theories.
Okay…Let me cut the fluff and tell what to do…the Practical part.
Sit in a comfortable position and think about the negative incident that happened to you.Let it play like a movie in your mind.When your movie ends….start playing it backwards….ie Form the point where the movie ends start playing it to the point it started.
Then Start playing the Movie again in reverse and in the middle make the movie play in black and white….then let grains appear in that mental movie….then shrink the whole movie in to the center.