Conversational Hypnosis Techniques with Practical examples in Real Life

  • You take it in silently when your nosy Coworker tries to dominate you and acts as if he is your Boss. You convince yourself that staying silent is the wise thing to do in that situation.
  • You wonder why random Strangers you meet outdoors in Streets,supermarkets and malls etc.. Stare at you ,intrude in to your personal space,cut before you in queues ,or just act rude around you …
  • You feel you are invisible to others in social situations and during conversations people focus on talking with those accompanying you but they completely ignore you and you end up feeling self conscious about what you are doing there and you start to plan how to get out of there.
  • You are anxious about meeting new People or having conversations with People.You think people will judge you.You run out of things to say and end up in awkward silences.You think your communication skill sucks.

Yet..you have always wanted to…

  • Have the subtle language skills to make that Coworker leave you alone and make him run with his tail between his legs.
  • Get Respect and friendly vibes from People that you meet in public places.Make Bartenders, receptionists,waiters and other Clerical people treat you like a VIP while leaving others to wait till they finish giving you their undivided attention.
  • Make the opposite sex want to approach you and start conversations with you.
  • And when you finally talk back to them, you can make them laugh and let them feel what you want them to feel, and lead them in to a deep trance by giving them the experience of their lifetime… all in the course of a normal conversation.
  • And many more…
Conversational Hypnosis Techniques
Conversational Hypnosis Techniques

You may have personally known or seen someone who can instantly befriend anyone and talk their way in to and out of any situation you can imagine.They are the naturals and they have developed their people skills over a period of their lifetime watching and learning from successful and influential people they are growing around with.And then there are People like me,The Testers,who are not genetically blessed with influential parents and had to learn everything from scratch from self Help stuff. It requires a lot of time and money to test and find out which techniques work  in the real world and which ones don’t.

Problem is most Self Help methods that actually work in real life come with a very high price tag in the form of  boot-camps and Private seminars organized for rich clients like Businessmen and corporate executives .And even in these courses they add a lot of useless advice and techniques that will distract you.

Technically what separates ‘What you are now’ from ‘The Person you want to become’ is just the knowledge of a handful of skills and techniques and a series of steps you need to take.And some Time.

Get access to my Personal Notes i wrote in my Journey to as i transformed myself  from a shy teen to someone with the forbidden People skills. Some of these are derived from Underground Seminars on Dating ,Psychology,NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and Conversational Hypnosis that are meant for the elite few.These are shared by me and some of our members/Moderators who had the Time and money and passion to spend on these seminars.

What if you get to access to the techniques and experiences of People who are trying to attain similar goals like yours? How fun it would be to Interact and learn from them and put those techniques in your real life and make it work for you?

What if you have a Personal coach who would initiate you in just the needed People skills that you need to know to achieve your Goal?

The Good news is you can acquire the knowledge you need to develop the People skills you want from the courses and guides in the internet.Some are Free and some are paid Products.But the issue is there are a lot of useless advice and techniques floating around that will distract you and waste years of your time and money before you finally find your way to your Goal.

It took us seven years.We were a group of people each with a different goal towards self Development.Some had the money to spend to Attend Underground Seminars on Dating ,Psychology,NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and Conversational Hypnosis that are meant for the elite few and they shared their knowledge with us.Some contributed by putting the knowledge in to practice in the real world and sharing field reports with us.We functioned like a well oiled machinery but still it took seven years because there is so much myths and useless junk floating around before you can lay your hands on that ‘Golden nugget’ of information that really works in the Real world out there.

Every columbus doesn’t have to discover america.We give you the map.

NLP Instant Rapport Techniques

This is my Personal method or Trick or Technique to to Build Instant Rapport with Anyone
I presume that… like me you would also want to cut the fluff talk and dive in straight to the meat of the Techniques while you are learning this new skill. I was not that lucky because I had to wade through a lot of junk methods that wasted my time and energy before finding a few Gems that I could practically use in my Real life effectively and benefit from it. Good News is you will have the Knowledge delivered in a silver plate. My only concern is People sometimes tend to take the worth of things lightly if they get access to stuff easily but my only option is to believe that you are wiser to know that.

Instant Rapport Techniques
Instant Rapport Techniques

Firstly I want to tell you how I accidentally discovered this working technique about how to Build Instant Rapport with Anyone from a old Persuasion and Influence course. During my teen years I had speech related problems and by the time I crossed my teenage I became a extremely introverted shy young man. I overcame my speech impediment in my early Twenties and I was able to talk normally to people. Yet I could not come out of my shyness. When I go out I felt that I was socially invisible(Many times I would ask somebody something and they would completely ignore me ) and that is when I started to learn a lot of Self Help stuff, mostly Persuasion and Influence related stuff. I came across this old Recording of a Seminar where they claimed that they have a covert Technique that can help anyone develop a instant Rapport. I knew that I have to take this Method seriously and put it to test in my Real life and make it work simply because they talked about this one technique in the whole video.

Before we dig in deeper I want you to touch base on the basic Principles of this technique. It would be good if you agree with the following fundamental statements.
People like people who are like them.
Sounds so plain and True Right? Ok. If you agree with that statement the next step is to make anyone think that you are very much like them. That too we have to insert that idea in to their head in a couple of seconds we have while meeting them in a real life scenario. But HOW TO DO THAT?
I have took that idea from that seminar and add a few more working gems I already know and then Tested it and Tuned it and Optimized it and used and abused it …So much that I unconsciously use it every time I meet someone to make them unconsciously like me. Remember-I am not doing anything unethical or fancy…I just let them know that I am so much human like them.
Listen to everything I say from here on as they are the actual method. Take your Time to understand and digest it.If you don’t understand anything just ask me and I will do whatever I can do to drill the method in to your mind.
The following is a Real life scenario where we are going to Apply this Technique to make anyone Like us Instantly

1. When you meet some one… what is the first Thing we do?
When meeting someone…At what exact moment do we actually meet?
Answer: You look at the Person and the Person looks at you. That is when we humanly make our First step in meeting someone. You lock Eye contact. This stage may last only 1-4 seconds.

2. So we make a Eye contact with a Person (There are a dozen Eye contact Techniques to achieve different outcomes but we are not going to look in to any of them now except the one below.)
Eye contact is the first step or the first leap you take in to the Elevator for communicating with Someone.
So, What is the next step that happens when Two People lock a eye to eye contact?
Answer: Two things can happen from here.
a. Either one of them may break the eye contact by looking away.
b. Both of them Move to the Next Step. No! They do not have Verbal Communication Yet.

3. There is a Nonverbal Communication stage we go through after we actually make eye contact and before we Verbally communicate with someone.
This is the stage where we are going to apply our Practical Psychological Trick

So when two people Lock eye contact and before they say hi…. Or hello…Or Blah blah….They do a non verbal communication Ritual.
Everyone has a Non verbal way to say their hello before they Actually say their hello.
Some lift one or both their eyebrow.
Some wave their hands slightly.
Some smile in a peculiar way.
Some tilt their head slightly.

Now…can you empathize with what I am saying? If you don’t understand what I am talking about in this Step 3 then when you go out just concentrate and notice and look for this phase when you meet your neighbor…your colleague…your waiter…your billing clerk at the stores.

4. Most of us don’t even recognize this phase of Nonverbal communication signals. When a Person sends their Non verbal signal (a slight tilt of their head or a Grin or a eyebrow raise) we normally either say our verbal Hello or sometimes send our own Non verbal signal.
For example you are in your favorite restaurant and the waiter approaches you…Both of you lock eye contact….he lifts his eyebrows slightly…And you put a grin on your face…and you ask him the Menu.
The waiter is not going to like you instantly. He is not going to give his best service for you.

In your next table I am sitting comfortably. The waiter Approaches me…we lock eye contact… he does his standard lift of his eyebrows …I just copy him and lift my eyebrows the same way he did…then smile….and ask him the Menu…

I have already done my Trick. On a deeper level the waiter would be thinking that I am like him in some ways….he would like me…He would give his undivided attention and service to me, listen every word I say.
From the next table you yell ‘Waiter! just a minute’. The waiter won’t turn until I finish my conversation with him. You will be left to wonder why he is treating the Guy in the next table like a VIP and why you are invisible to him.

5. Because subconsciously at a deeper lever he perceives me as his friend(Since I matched his Non verbal Hello gesture) and you as different(since you have a different Non verbal Hello gesture).
To Summarize:
When meeting someone immediately after the initial eye contact everyone will do their non verbal gesture. It can be a slight tilt of the head, a nod, or Grin or a thousand other things. In reply our natural tendency is to do our own Non verbal gesture, which will make the other person see us different. Instead if we copy the Other Person’s non verbal gesture he will perceive us as his friend and will develop a likeness for you instantly.
Just Test this technique on random persons you meet in your real life and feel the sense of influence you exert on people. You are now empowered with the hidden knowledge of the elite few powerful people.
It is up to you to use it to the best of everybody involved.

How to not be socially awkward-Are you socially awkward by Definition

It doesn’t matter whether you are just starting to wonder if you are really socially awkward and questioning yourself ‘am i socially awkward?’ or if you have successfully convinced yourself  that you are socially awkward  long ago,this post is going to be of some help as we are going to take a detailed look from the definition to effective ways to become less socially awkward.

First take this ‘Am i really Socially Awkward’ Test Quiz

1.Do you feel restless or anxious when waiting in public for someone or something?

2.Do you feel that People are staring at you and often check whether people stare at you after doing something in social situations?You have difficulty in making and maintaining eye contact with people?

3.In social gatherings do you feel embarrassed in meeting and mingling with the guests and cling to only few people you are close to?And when your close friend goes to mingle with new people you feel self anxious and conscious and stand there without knowing what to do.

4.When you happen to share your office lift with some one from your work you anxiously wait till the lift reaches the destination to get out of the situation?If some kind of interaction takes place do you rehearse what happened in your mind for the next ten minutes?

5.When you spot someone from your workplace in a public place do you slow down or hurry up your steps to avoid meeting them and if you happen to meet them accidentally you feel socially inept ?

6.In social gatherings where you have the compulsion to interact with others and when you approach people and start communication with others do you feel Ignored? Or do you end up saying things that you should not be saying and spend the rest of the evening mulling over the incident?

7. Are the things you say to others with good intentions get misunderstood and misinterpreted by others and you feel socially inept and awkward?

8.Do you feel lonely and feel you have no meaningful relationship with others except one or two close friends?

9.Do You take a long time to come up with things to say to someone after your initial ‘hi’ and ‘hello’.Do you Run out of things to say in the middle of a conversation and the awkward silences force you to blurt out secrets or things that you are not supposed to say to them…

If you have answered most of the questions with YES or Hell Yes! then you so feel that you have socially awkward issues.Good news is that you can work on it and stop feeling awkward sooner with the right techniques and tools.

People with social awkwardness may find it a rough ride navigating the social situations and scenarios life throws at them. It’s like they are a sailor in rough seas who lost his compass.So to find their way out of rough seas and cruise to a happy island all they need is to find a Tool like a compass,or a GPS.NLP has plenty of Tools and Techniques to help overcome social awkwardness some of them so effective that you can see results after a couple of trials.

 

 

Obsession phrases -The Language of Desire- With Real life Examples

Obsession Phrases-The language of Desires or LOD  is a hot Product targeting the ‘women dating men’ Market written by the well known author Kelsey diamond but in reality a different set of Obsession Phrases do exist that can be used by men over women.The first impression anyone reading his sales page will get is that by saying some magical phrases women can get the power to influence men to fall in love and literally fall at their feet and live by their feet forever.If you ask me if obsession phrases work in real life then my short answer would be Yes,it is Real and Obsession phases do work in real life.However if someone imagines that by learning and saying a few magic words they can make a man or woman fall in love or get obsessed over them then i have bad news for them-It doesn’t work that way-Not that Easy.Obsession phrases can be made to work in real life but that requires a lot of practice and patience and trial and error before you finally see it work like a magic.The good news is that if you are ready to put in the effort and go through the Learning curve success is almost inevitable for you.

What are obsession Phrases and how and why do they work?

‘Obsession phrases-The language of Desire’ is a system that is just a small subset of Conversational Hypnosis.In simple terms…Have you ever been turned on suddenly while reading a romantic story on a book? Have you ever listened to some lyrics of a love song and felt strong emotions take you over? Like power words and phrases,There are some phrases that can trigger a state of sexual arousal in men who listen to them when said in a certain way.Some phrases are explicit while some are just plain and covert but yet they all work in achieving the objective of getting the man obsessed over the women that turns them on with it.When a women says the ‘Right’ word at the ‘right’ time  a chemical process is initiated in the man’s mind which can make him find the women ten twenty times more attractive than she is.

Have you ever met couples where one of the partner is smoking hot and attractive and intelligent while the other one looked plain and dull in comparison that left you wondering how they managed to keep the other one in his or her hook? Well,the secret is that the seemingly dull partner is having a secret trump card – The art of  communication,  when it comes to creating relationships that can last a lifetime.Accepting the influential power of words provides you both extreme capability and also extreme responsibility .Knowing what to say;when to say; and how to say
correctly and will get you everything you wanted, but neglect the
vital signs and you’ll be left sitting out in the cold in no time.

Kelsey diamond the author of ‘Obsession Phrases-The language of Desires or LOD’ starts his book with a personal story of his lady friend who is very attractive and having a successful carrier.She was in a ‘happy’ relationship with her boyfriend when her suddenly left her for another women who is not even half good in her looks and money.Women need to  understand that everything they say to a man can have massive effects in his mind even though it may not elicit any physical reaction in his face.

Chapter 1 – Understanding the Male Mental Theater.

In this chapter the author Kelsey diamond explains in detail the psychology of the Men and how special words get his mind to imagine and experience pain,pleasure and fear when a woman says it to him in the right way.Also when a woman knows to hit a man’s desire buttons with her words she is literally having him in her leash for the rest of her lifetime.He lists the Male Desire buttons and how women can bring his male mental theater to life ,with her words,that he will never consider leaving her for another woman for the fear of losing all the fun he is having with you.

Chapter 2 – The Big Secret of Obsession Phrases.

Personally this is the chapter where the real action starts to unfold and all the theory he was talking about up to this point suddenly seemed to make sense.Okay if you haven’t got a clear idea of what obsession phrases are all about you will get to have your ‘Wow!’ moments when you read the following example.

Let’s say a woman likes her man and she communicates it in words…what would she say.

‘I like you’ or ‘Like you so much’ or ‘i like you John’.

You think these words are enough to make him paint a vivid picture in his mind and get him excited and get his emotions stirred? May be if he is a teenager but if he is not you need to do much better than that.

How about…’I like the way you hold hands with me while watching horror movies in our couch.Somehow i feels more romantic and safe and happy.’

I bet you can do better than me,but you got the idea right?

 

 

 

 

Sleight of the Mouth examples-Conversation Tactics

In our daily lives…everyone of us  would  be put in situations where  a bossy Coworker or a nosy person is trying to dominate us in a conversation. In such situations we  may go blank …wondering whether to respond to them  or to move on  without confronting their statements.

The Problem with just ignoring these kind of people without confronting them by giving them a fitting reply is….They will come back at you stronger and stronger and start dominating you more and more. The only way to stop them is by giving them a fitting reply, that will make them wonder what hit them. When you have that kind of skill you will be confident in all social situations, knowing very well that you can handle any verbal challenge.

What is Sleight of Mouth?

Sleight of Mouth is a persuasion skill, a vehicle for the re-framing of beliefs. It is a system of 14 different patterns of response to a stated belief or statement. A system that, once mastered, can allow you to always have a response that will effectively elucidate your position and help you to persuade rather than be persuaded. Simply put, it will help you win any argument, be verbally powerful and powerfully verbal.

We all enjoy the nice come back punch dialogue that the hero delivers to the insulting villain’s remark.What if we can deliver that kind of Come back lines in our real life? The Sleight of Mouth Patterns will let you do that exactly!

What Will Sleight of Mouth Do For you?

Part of the power of Sleight of Mouth is that it gives you more choices and flexibility of possible responses. You will never be at a loss for something to say. And with 14 different possible responses, odds are good that what you say will stop your adversary right in his tracks.

How to use the ‘Sleight of Mouth’ Patterns:

The real challenge or Fun of learning the slight of Mouth patterns is to come up with your own examples that you can apply in your own life situations.In real life there are millions of things a person can say to you and we cannot cover the response for each and every insulting remark.But what we can do is give a example situation and statement and the fourteen types of comeback Responses you can give for that statement. You are expected to use the example as a model and come up with your Responses to use in your real life.

So Following is the situation:

You have arrived a little late to office and your boss didn’t seem to mind it. But the nosy coworker who has got no business to monitor you says something insulting like…

“You’re being late and it shows you don’t care about the job.”

There are 14 different responses you can come up with in this scenario:

  1. Reality strategy:

The Reality strategy Challenges the belief, based on the fact that beliefs arise from certain assumptions. Probe how they know that their belief is true and how they came to the conclusion.

The following are some of the responses you can come up using the Reality strategy pattern:

How do you know lateness and caring are the same thing?

I’m not sure how it is you have drawn that conclusion. Maybe the boss told that to you when you came late yesterday… How would you know if it wasn’t true?

What we are doing here is…instead of going blank or getting angry we asked them back a question…..and now they are the one going deep inside to find the answer to what we asked.

  1. Model of the world:

Model of the World,argues that the other person is making a assertion as a metaphor for something else.

Some people believe caring is shown by quality of the job done and the results obtained.

  1. Counter example:

Counter example uses exceptions where their statement would not be True- which weakens  the belief of the original statement.

We all know people who are always on time and yet are goof-offs once they get here.

  1. Intent:

This pattern highlights the original intent.

My intention is not to be late or uncaring but to give the company the best quality time and highest productivity while I’m here.

  1. Redefine:

Redefine the problem.

I wasn’t late, I was delayed in traffic.

The issue is not my being late but how much work I can accomplish today before the end of the day.

  1. Chunking up:

Chunking up is generalizing the whole thing to challenge the belief of the other person.

Are you saying the most important aspect of my job is showing up on time?

  1. Chunking down:

Chunking down breaks down the statement of the other person to smaller elements, then pick up any particular element and start attacking it.

How specifically are lateness and not caring the same thing?

  1. Metaphor or analogy:

Instead of replying to the question use a metaphor or analogy to challenge the belief and make a comeback statement.

If a surgeon is late for dinner because he is saving a life, does that mean he doesn’t care about his wife’s cooking?

  1. Another outcome:

Another outcome offers a alternate which challenges the statement of the other person. Switch the other’s attention from their original outcome to another.

The real question isn’t whether I’m late or I’m caring. The real question is how much I’m producing for the company.

  1. Consequence:

Consequence challenges the statement of the other person by highlighting a consequence of what would happen if the other person’s belief is followed.

If I wasn’t late I wouldn’t have been able to close the sale while I was at a breakfast meeting.

  1. Hierarchy of Criteria:

Challenge the belief based on more important criteria ,suggesting something more important is there to consider

Isn’t it more important to focus on how much the person gives while on the job rather than punctuality?

  1. Apply to self:

Apply to self,turns their belief/statement back on them-either by implying that the consequences they suggest to be  applicable to you is actually also applicable to them.

If you are concerned about the company you would not have told me this late.

I will like to give another example for this pattern. In a heated argument you say somethings and the other person says…

Other Person: Saying mean things means you are a bad person.

You:   It is too bad you said that.It’s a mean thing to say to a collegue.

  1. Changing frame size:

This pattern extends the implication of the belief to a larger(or smaller)scale,or to a longer(or shorter) time frame.

Over time, you’ll see I brought in more business in a timely fashion for the company than all of the people who showed up to work on time.

  1. Meta frame:

Meta frame challenges the basis behind the belief/statement instead of challenging the statement.

Lots of progressive companies are working with flex time for their high producers. I thought you were a forward thinking person.

Now imagine the power of having ALL these patterns at your fingertips for every single objection you are likely to encounter in every single situation.

You may understand some of the sleight of mouth patterns…find some helpful and usable….don’t have a clue about some of the other patterns…But,That’s okay. You don’t need all of them. If you can pick up just one or Two sleight of the mouth patterns and apply it in your real life, that’s all you need. Because,Some of the smart mouths in the real world just use one or two of the patterns.

Good Luck Practicing the Sleight of mouth patterns in the real world out there.

Conversational hypnosis language patterns -Practical Examples for use in real Life

What Is Hypnosis?

To know about hypnosis you have to first learn what a ‘Trance’ is.

People drop into trance many times everyday, Whenever they are pulled into a riveting novel, when they become enthralled while watching a movie, etc. You have likely had an experience when you are driving home from work in your car, and as you enter your home and sink in to your favorite couch, you realize that you don’t recall driving the last five miles.
Your unconscious handled the driving while you were thinking about something else. All these are examples of different forms of trance.

Hypnosis is artificially inducing a trance state in the listener so that they will listen and follow your suggestions more readily.(Since you are bypassing their Consious mind which may be resisting your suggestions)
Process to do hypnosis/Steps in hypnosis

– Attention:Absorb your subject’s attention; focus their attention. You need to pull it and draw it in to the hypnotic.

– Bypass the Critical Factor (and Bypass the regular conscious mindsets)
Bypass the little voice inside their head that says’Oh that won’t work”
Bypass habitual patterns to allow new patterns to be installed

– Stimulate the Unconscious Mind
Recruit their unconscious mind to perform actual change work.
Change work can be anything you wanted the other person to experience.You can make them feel great by saying good things or feel depressed by saying not so good things.

So what is conversation hypnosis and How this conversation hypnosis work?

My personal expectation from conversation hypnosis is….The ability to change the Mental State of the listener through the course of a conversation.I may be wrong.It may be just a subset of what i can really do with conversation hypnosis…it may be just the tip of the iceberg…or just the cherry on Top of the cake….But all i want from learning Conversation Hypnosis is the ability to
change the Mental State of the listener by just talking to them.

Lets face the following cases:-

a.You are going in to the Boss cabin for asking a raise or for a salary appraisal but he is in a bad mood.May be he had a fight with his wife before comming to office that day.

What if you can talk with him normally and can get him in to a lighter mood first?
Say something that will raise the Probability of getting a higher salary multiple times right?

Here is another Real life scenario…

b.Your wife is shopping.She is so excited and is about to buy things that are a luxury for your current economic state of your family.

What if you can bring her excitement down to a couple of notches towards reality,by talking with her,so that she realises that the stuff she was about to buy was not a necessity.And it was all her idea.

How much money did you just save with your conversation skills?

Conversation hypnosis in Movies:

My favorite example of conversation hypnosis in a movie is Below.It is from a Brad Pitt Movie called ‘Money Ball’.Brad Pit is a Baseball Team GM .He is disappointed with the little amount of money allocated by Scott the owner of the Team for him to spend on his Team to make it win.He enters Scott’s office and complains that bigger Teams spend 80 Millions for their Teams success and how he is expected to compete and make his team win with a few millions.

The following is the modified script of what the Boss-The owner of the team says to Brad Pitt.

SCOTT Says….
We’re a small market team. You’re a small market GM. And I’m asking you to be okay with not spending money I don’t have. And
I’m asking you to take a breath and sit back and relax. And then I’m asking you to get back in a room with your people and
figure out how you’re going to do the task with the money I do have.

And as he says that you can see Brad Pitt taking a deep Breath and leans back and his mood lightens up.That’s an example of the Use of conversational hypnosis.

Golden Nugget #1:
When someone comes to you with a problem, it only means they have forgotten where the right resource is which will help them solve the problem. When you find the resources they need and attach them to the problem, the problem vanishes. Approximately 85% of the time, this process will make the problem easily dissolve and go away.

 

How to build courage and confidence in your real life

Courage is something that everyone needs in their life to make like easy. It was considered as one of the most important virtue a Man has to posses. Most of the people in the world may have education, wealth, beauty etc.. but people with great Courage and confidence are the only ones that get a place in History. Those who are brave and Bold and courageous alone have the power to bring the masses under their influence.

If you have a glance of the World History only the name of the courageous men withstand their fame, for their Brave actions, for a long time. Hercules, Napoleon, Alexander etc.. are just a few names of courageous men who changed the flow of history.

courageous-people_with_confidence
courageous-people_with_confidence

What is Courage?

Courage is nothing but a state of mind devoid of fear and it can be achieved with the help of Positive thought. An Indian Saint Swami Vivekananda once told “You are what you think”, our inner conscious decides how to frame our life. Our thoughts have that much power to design the life of a person. If you think Good, Good things will happen in your life. If you think Bad, the same will reflect. So we should be very careful in developing our thought since our thought becomes our speech, our speech becomes our action, our action becomes character. So if we have brave thoughts, you will become courageous and confident.

For example, if you have the self image that you are strong and energetic, you will definitely be considered strong and courageous by the outer world. By contrary, if you think you are weak in a negative way, the result will be as our thinking.

Courage is nothing but overcoming fear with positive mind set.

Fear

Fear is the basic human emotion or behavior which we tend to get from Mind through our Nervous system. It a natural phenomenon and it is possible for us to avoid easily if we follow some certain set of rules/practices

Types of Fear

There are so many types of fear in this world and following is the some of them which we commonly used to see around us

if we are going to do new a new thing which was not done earlier, automatically we get afraid about that. This is the fear of new things.

We would have seen in our work place, normally most of the person get tensed or afraid to speak with their Boss or Superior

This is one type of fear i.e Fear of Superiors

In some peculiar cases, some Men hesitate to speak with Girls or women without any concrete reason.(Some Women also react the same towards men )

This is the fear of Opposite Sex

Like this, there are many fears(Phobia) in this world to overcome

Identifying Fears:

First of all, we should identify and label our inner fears.It is the first and most important step to nail your fear and become courageous.

List out the Fear:

To identify this, we have to carefully watch our own thought from the beginning of the day and should take a note for what are all the things suddenly we are afraid of.

List it down and find yourself by raising a question that whether a valid reason is available to get nervous or being afraid of.

Expose yourself to your worst fears:

The best way to overcome fear is to experience the fear by doing that thing what we were afraid of. This itself will make us stronger and bold.

Acting on the thing without delay:

If you are afraid of Boss means, Go and speak with Boss without any further delay/hesitation. The moment you complete the conversation with your Boss, you will definitely get a courage of overcoming the thing what you have earlier considered as Fear

Continuous and uninterrupted thinking

If you want to achieve a great thing then our whole mind and soul have to think about that again and again imagining that our target has been achieved successfully.

Thinking again and again about a thing in a smooth way will surely give us positive result. This is one of the ways to be courageous

Visualize

If you are participating in a Karate competition and you feel that there are many participants are more powerful than you then Imagine that you are beating and kicking your opponent hardly irrespective of how strong he/she may be (or) imagine getting Championship cup from Referee after winning the final tournament.Visualizing something like this will not do you any harm it will make you feel better and give you a better chance to succeed.This type of positive Visualization in your mind will bring you more energy and power and you will see miracles happen in your life.

Developing Confidence:

Confidence and courage is like two side of a coin. If one side is not present, obviously the coin becomes invalid .So don’t let your confidence down at any moment

The More you are Confident, the More you will succeed

If you are truly not confident means, at least try to pretend that you are confident

Meditation

Meditation is the process of controlling mind in the right path. Controlling mind requires practice and it should be done in a calm place. At the starting stage of Meditation there should not be any distraction in this process so you should choose a place which fulfills the requirement. After practicing for some time you would be able to meditate wherever you are. Closing your eyes and breathing deeply as well as slowly is the main strategy for a good meditation. While meditating we should bring in the thought for what you are afraid of and to enhance or chat yourself that you have overcome that fear and it is nothing to be afraid of anymore. Sometimes during meditation definitely negative thoughts may arise and try to conquer your mind. But we should carefully watch our thought and should concentrate on the good and positive things only.

How to Persuade and convince investors to invest in your ideas

If you are an entrepreneur with a good business idea but don’t have the funds then you need investor to invest in your ideas to take it off the ground. It is not enough to have a good business idea alone but you would also need to have persuasive skills to convince investors to invest in your ideas.

The skill set you need to influence a businessman is vast to cover for his article but we can show a basic framework within which we can operate to get funds.

The first thing i would come up with is the “Outcome”.The Outcome of the Meeting.
1.Outcome

Outcome: Make him Invest money in My Product.

Then i would ask myself ‘what qualities i should project to …Make him Invest money in your Product.’

Example Answers:
Prove him you have a strong moral background and ethics.(Even money minded investors will love a honest Product owner)
Prove him that there is a strong demand for that Product in the Market.
Prove that he would profit from investing.

So how am i going to prove all this to him?

With my words.In the course of my Conversation.
The key is story telling.
Let me tell that again in case you missed it the first time.The key is story telling.

So how can you tell stories to a seasoned Businessman.A bigshot Investor.

Here is how…I have to prove that there is a demand for my Product.So in the course of my conversation i
would say some thing like…
“When i was first manufacturing My dog food from my own kitchen we could not keep up with the demand
and there were some customers who were mad at us because their dogs got used to our dog food and they were
not eating other brand dog foods well.They were telling mean things like ‘If you can’t manufacture enough and
satisfy your customers why are you running a business’
That’s why we are planning to get a commercial unit to manufacture the dog food’ and we are seeking investors.”

I hope you get the Idea of story telling.
Story telling is one of the Tools of conversational hypnosis that i use in almost all scenarios of conversation.

2.Set the Frame of the Conversation
So all i am going to talk about in the conversation should be within the Frames of Proving that i am a trustworthy person
and that my product has great demand in market and that he would profit greatly by investing in it.
If you aimlessly wander in your conversation you may end up telling your weak links and the investor may get disinterested.Also you may stall in your conversation.

I should be having all the Business information and statistics ready.

3.Get Instant Rapport with the Investor.
My ‘How to make people like you instantly’gig will help you to that.

Derailing Conversations-A Dummies guide to tone policing and other Conversation tactics

Since this is a Dummies guide let’s start from the very beginning.
Define Derailing a Conversation….How does Derailing help you?
In any group conversation or group discussion there will always be sub groups of people who will align with your line of thinking and ideology and agree or like what you are saying.Most likely,there will be another sub set of people who have different perceptions and ideology and experiences than you and your support group share.They may come from a different background and they may have completely opposite experiences about the things you are talking about in your discussion.Eventually one of a person from your opposing group may get offended or feel unhappy about something you say and may interfere while you are talking.
If you ever give them an inch and let them talk they will go to any length to humiliate you in front of your sub group and make you eat your words.
Derailing_Conversations_For_Dummies
Derailing_Conversations_For_Dummies
If you ever get yourself in this situation ‘Derailing a conversation’ is the only skill or Tool that you are going to need to put Duct tape on your opponent’s mouth and make them feel small in front of the Group.A well executed derailment can earn appreciation from the members of the opponent Sub Group also and may make the members of your sub group consider you as their leader.
If you don’t understand parts of what i told above you will get clarity once you listen me explaining the real life scenarios where you can apply your new learnt skill of ‘Derailing a conversation’ with real examples.
Scenario #1:
You are put in to a Group discussion where the candidates have to talk against or supporting a social issue.The Interviewers are seated to watch the gladiator in you getting eaten by the hungry tigers.You take the lead and start the Conversation and have some people nodding in support of your views when you hear a fierce voice interfering your train of thoughts.It’s some one from the opposing sub group who was offended by something you said or just another candidate trying to grab your job from your reach.If you don’t take the sword of ‘Derailing Conversations’ and use it on your opponent they are going to make you a spectacle and run away with your job.The Trick is to silence your opponent artfully and gracefully without inviting further uprisings from others ,else Ceaser watching over the match will be giving you a thumbs down and you may go home empty handed.
Scenario #2:
You are the Team leader and you are Suggesting your Plan of action for the Management’s Problem and one of your team member questions your Plan and is about to Pitch his own Plan.
Worst case scenario-You lose the grace of the Management and the Team member becomes your Leader.
Best case scenario-You Derailing the Conversation with Tone Policing and entertaining the Management all the while
So what is Common in all the above Real life scenarios?
There is your Opponent you have to silence and there is also a higher authority who is overseeing you.You not only have to Derail the conversation and trivialize your opponent but also have to do it subtly without letting the Management or higher authority Interfere.
By ‘Derailing a conversation’ what we mean really are ways to detract,silence,belittle, devalue ,deprecate,decry the validity of a statement by attacking the tone or person rather than the message.
Derailing or Tone Policing can be effectively done if you have higher authority and you are in the privileged group.To explain this Point let’s say you are talking with your town people about the visitors from the neighboring spoiling your town’s safety.If there is a particular person who originally came and settled from the neighboring town in the group he may get offended and may argue against your argument.In this scenario the Opponent is having lesser advantage and you are in a Prevailed position because you have the home crowd support.

How to change the subject during a conversation and change the Topic

Often times we will be in situations where we won’t be feeling comfortable discussing some topics with some people.In such situations we may need to change the subject of the conversation away from what that makes you feel uncomfortable and towards topics that will give you a upper hand.

There are a whole lot of NLP power phrases available,which you can learn,to successfully do this in any conversation in your day to day life.Once you learn some of these and add it in your Toolkit the possibilities are Endless here…you can apply it in your Personal,Business or in your day to day conversations with strangers.We can successfully change the direction of a conversation towards the subject or topic you want it to Proceed but first you have to decide if you are going to do this the soft way or with authority.

The REDEFINE Pattern is a NLP technique that allows you change the topic of a conversation away from the topic you are not comfortable with authority and style.

The redefine pattern goes like this ‘The issue is not about ‘their subject’ but about ‘your subject’.

If you don’t understand the hang of this language pattern yet,stay with me,and you will realize the power of the REDEFINE pattern when i explain it with an example in a Business Scenario.

Scenario:
You are a Team leader and you are assigned a difficult Project that needs to be completed in the next two weeks.
You arrange a Team meeting and break this news to your team mates and they revolt saying how difficult the task is or how it is impossible to achieve in the given deadline.

Your team members are struck in a negative routine finding reasons why they cannot do the given task while you have organized this meeting to discuss how to plan this task.If you are going to say nothing your team members will eventually persuade the other members and even you to start thinking of ways to escape the task.But Luckily you know the REDEFINE pattern and know exactly what to say to steer them away from their negativity and Towards the subject that need to be addressed.

Picture this…..You stand up and say….
“The issue is not about the difficulty of this task but about how we are about to plan to complete it within the deadline,for which we all are getting paid .”

Just in case you don’t realize what you have done here
….You have closed all the doors and opened the only door to the room where you want to lock them in.Now you have indirectly suggested that the only thing that you are going to talk in this meeting is about the plans for achieving the given task and not about anything else.

Now that you have started to understand the power of the REDEFINE pattern to change the subject and direct the conversation to the topic you want to talk about.

Let’s see a variation of this technique in the sales scenario.You are a salesman and the customer is stalling from buying the product ,even though he likes it because he thinks it is overpriced.

You say….
“The Real Problem here is not that this Product is costing you a few extra bucks more but that it is exactly what you wanted for your home.”