How to give a Good Presentation-Presentation Training Exercises

What is a Presentation?

A presentation is the process of presenting a topic to an audience. It is generally a demonstration, introduction, lecture, or speech meant to inform, persuade, inspire, motivate, or to build good will or to present a new idea or product to a group of people.

If you are given the responsibility to conduct a Presentation and if you want it to be a successful one it is essential for you to Prepare and Train yourself for it.You can prepare by asking yourself the right questions and coming up with good answers and solutions.Let’s see some of such questions a Presenter should ask himself to Prepare well for the Presentation.
One of the key question any presenter should ask himself  is:

♦ Why am I here?
Few people are asked to give a presentation because their audience likes the sound of their voice.The majority of presentations are given for a purpose. The key is to make the purpose of the presentation that of the individual members of the audience, not the purpose of the presenter.

Unconsciously, members of an audience ask the following questions:

♦ Why am I here?
♦ What will I get out of listening to this talk?
♦ Will what the presenter is saying help me?
The secret of a good presenter is to hook into what the audience wants from the talk and give it to them. You must answer the WIIFM: WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME?

WIIFM Statement
If I Can Get ( My Audience) To Agree That (My Plan/ Proposal) Will
Help Them (In Their Jobs) Then They Will Agree To ( My Proposal).
For instance, if I can get Presentation Techniques for Impact course participants to agree that this training will help them in their jobs, then they will agree to take part in the activities of the next two days.
Before undertaking any presentation – or for that matter going into any meeting – ask the WIIFM question. This way you can get into the minds of the audience and thus turn your knowledge and thoughts into the items that they need to help them with their jobs.

Because Statements
As well as the WIIFM statement you must also answer the Because questions:-

I Am Standing Up Here Because…
They Are Listening To Me Because…
This way you will be allowed to say your piece and the audience will listen to you as opposed to just hearing you. For instance,

♦ I am standing up here because whoever books your training heard what a great course this was and how good I was as its presenter and then contracted me to provide this course for your company to answer your requests for help with presentations.

♦ They are listening to me because they applied to come on this course having already identified their own needs for help in giving more effective presentations.

The worst case scenario is:

♦ I am standing up here because I was told to and you are listening to me because your manager sent you ..
If you ever get to that state – panic.

The key to a good presentation is to get through to the audience as
someone whose ideas can help them do their jobs more efficiently.

Training: Training is where the audience are actively involved in acquiring skills or knowledge from the trainer.

Meeting :A Meeting is an occasion when two or more people discuss and agree actions.

Essentially the audience is “passive” during a presentation. The secret of a good presentation is to involve the audience, but not be driven by it.

End Result of a Presentation
Giving a presentation is like selling something – an idea, a concept, some equipment. It allows a number of people to listen to the arguments of the presenter then to ask questions. From the perspective of the presenter, it allows you to influence a number of individuals at once.
Sometimes a presentation is not the answer: individual meetings may be the better choice for delicate subjects.A presentation is always intended to get results. This means that the presenter must be aware of their end goal. If you are unclear of the purpose of the presentation, so too will be your audience.

Exercise One

WIIFM -What is in it for me?

TIME: 30 minutes

•Take a presentation that you are scheduled to give soon, and

Using some scrap paper briefly state
What your presentation topic is
Who your audience is

Take a piece of Flip chart paper and write on it
Your name
Your WIIFM statements
Your Because statements
Your audience’s Because statements

Stick your Flip chart up on the wall of the room

The Audience
When giving a presentation, the total composition of the audience unknown to you in less than 10% of cases. In most other instances you know something about some members of the audience.The key is to try to get to know enough about all the members of the audience and to try to get them onto your side – before even going into the presentation.

Research and Questioning:
You need to research and question to find out about your audience and their receptivity to your ideas. You want to get the best possible reactions from them and this is best obtained by trying to get to know them beforehand.
Use who/ where/ why/ what/ how/when questions to find out the answers you need to know.
You are trying to find out about your audience’s :-

♦ Attitudes towards your topic
♦ Prior knowledge of your topic
♦ Friendship/fears
♦ Influence with the decision makers
♦ Power
This prior knowledge will put you in a position to amend your presentation to fit into the experience and expectations of your audience.
Your Contact
The most influential individual is the person that invited you to give the presentation. Consider them and ask yourself:

♦ Why were you invited to give the presentation?
♦ What’s their WIIFM?
♦ Are you part of their hidden agenda?
♦ How can you get this out into the open?
♦ What help can they give you?
♦ Is their success dependent upon your success?


♦ Arrange to talk with them about the presentation – their purpose for inviting you
♦ Ask them to lobby for you amongst the rest of the group
♦ Ask them about the composition of the rest of the group and their “views” on your topic
♦ Ask them if it could be possible for you to talk with some others – get them to arrange and/or smooth the meeting path

♦ Ask them to identify the Group Leader’s trigger points
The Group Leader
This is the second most important person to influence. Try to get to see this person and to get them on your side before the presentation. If others look up to this person, then they will be more inclined to agree with their views on your presentation. Consider them and ask yourself:

♦ What’s their WIIFM?
♦ How do they feel about the person who invited you?
♦ What is their trigger point?
♦ Do they lead or rule?


♦ Make sure you hook in their trigger points
♦ Be prepared for questions about their trigger points
♦ Don’t aim your presentation solely at the Group Leader – this will alienate the rest of the

♦ Can you meet them before you finalise your presentation?
♦ Failing meeting, can you call them on the phone before you finalise your presentation?
♦ Failing the above, can you have 5 minutes with them before the presentation starts?

The Powerful Others
These are people who have influence on the decisions and who may be at the presentation, or may have briefed others who will be at the presentation. Consider them and ask yourself:

♦ What are their WIIFMs?
♦ How do they feel about the person who invited you?
♦ Are you treading on their turf?
♦ Are you helping them with a problem they’ve got?
♦ Can you talk their language without taking too much of a tangent?

♦ Try to have answers ready for their trigger points
♦ Avoid getting caught into helping them trip up other members of the group
♦ Can you meet with them before the meeting – individually – and talk to them about your

If you sense in your discussions beforehand that everyone is against your proposal then cancel the presentation (unless you like being a martyr). You need to find some friends in court to get through the blockages in the rest of the audience so ensure you deal well with these people acknowledging their contributions as you go along. They should be on your side, so keep them
sweet and they will step in to help you when the discussion goes to the audience.

Prior Knowledge
Use talks with the audience beforehand to establish the extent of prior knowledge in your audience. Where you have a mixture of knowledgeable and ignorant in the same audience then you have the responsibility of getting them up to the same starting point. You can do this by

♦ Sending out some pre-reading (but be aware they may not have done it or never received it)
♦ Preparing a brief summary of the key points in a short sharp slide and form to distribute at the time of the presentation

♦ Have a poster/model/diagram in the presentation room to view
♦ List complex words on flip chart and put definitions beside them as you talk

If you know the dynamics of the group then you can predict how they are likely to react and then you will be able to judge your words accordingly. Group pressure can be quite dramatic when used and often group pressure can alter the most fixed views. Try not to get yourself into a
position of being the catalyst in a witch hunt.
Others may fear to agree with you if that seems to be against current policies so watch for those who were strong in one-to-ones but now seem to be backing off. If you sense that the discussion is going this way then propose a realistic solution which may not lead to direct confrontation at
that moment.

Influence with the Decision Makers
When you look at the composition of the audience, ask yourself:

♦ Are the audience the cheque signers?
♦ Can they give final approval of the project or are they in a strong position to influence the
decision makers?
There is nothing so self-important than a committee that has no power – and nothing so time wasting .

♦ Will the decision makers be there in the audience?
♦ How are they influenced by the rest of the group?
♦ How are decisions made – by consensus or by individuals?
Try to test out the culture of the organisation before presenting to it – if it is your own then you have an advantage if you step aside and observe the organisation to see who are the decision makers and how they make decisions.

Power and decision making authority should be linked but may not be. Some of the powerful are the “gateholders” – holders of information or resources that they control although they cannot make decisions but can make or break them. Examples here are the finance bodies who control
expenditure but do not decide how the monies are to be spent – the relationship between Treasury and other Government Departments is a classic case of this in action. Other powerful people are those who form natural leaders and whose actions get mirrored by the rest.

Exercise Two

The Audience

TOTAL TIME: 30 minutes
Suggested allocation of time:

10 minutes individual work
10 minutes per individual on audiences

•Work individually on your audience, as identified in the previous exercise. Go through the questions and actions that have been mentioned in this section and write down all you currently know about your audience.

•Questions you will need to answer include:
Who are they?
Who are friends?
Who are gatekeepers?
Who has the power?
What is their pre knowledge?
What is their attitude to your topic?
Who can you influence beforehand?

•Pair up with another participant and discuss your audience work with them.

•As the listener your role will be to help your partner refine precisely the audience’s characteristics and see how they can be influenced in advance.

You – The Presenter
Your Introduction is where you hook your audience, where you present them with a key message that makes them sit up and decide to stay awake, where you establish your credibility.
Initially you will need to break the ice with the audience – to get them on your side. This can be done with a funny remark; some comment upon the weather or such like; saying how nice it is to see so many familiar faces; – some way of establishing rapport before going into the meat of your
presentation. We will look specifically at establishing rapport later.
Your own introduction should be

♦ Pertinent
♦ Promotional
♦ Punchy
…and include the action that you want the audience to take as a result of listening to your presentation.
Your opening statement needs to get to the root of the matter. A presentation is not a strip tease there is no magic in not revealing all until the last moment – that moment may never come.
Pertinent statements include:
“My name is Pat Yokes and I’m here to show you how to save 20% from your next telephone bill and the next one and the next one…”
“Hi. I’m Jan Smith and I’m here to discuss passion with you.”
“I’m Syd Wright from XYZ Company and my job is to give away money.”

You need to sell yourself; your credentials for being in front of everyone and your purpose.
This is where your B COZ statements come in – why are you there ?
It is not the time for a lengthy life story taking you from the age of 2 to your present age – just a brief statement that justifies your right to be in front of the audience and taking up their valuable time.
“I’m District Sales Manager for ABC telephone company and we sell the most modern telephone exchange systems on the market.”
“I’m a quality consultant for PQR consultancy and believe that quality is too important to be left to IS9000.”
“I’m Dealer Marketing Manager and created the dealers award scheme that I want to introduce to you.”
You may also include here a brief summary of your capability to talk to the subject in question.Your title may suffice but you may like to add some time dimension – or research dimension – to your work.
“I’ve been with ABC for 5 years having started with B.T. and have never seen such advanced switching technology as in the new range of exchange systems that have been designed for us by Lexiter University’s Research department.”
“Prior to joining PQR in June I spent 10 years with M&S firstly as a buyer then in designing and running their quality programme which as you know has been awarded their ISO certificate.”
“I used to work for the Super special dealership and know how frustrating some of the complex dealer incentive schemes can be, that’s why I was attracted to my present company and the idea of working on their dealership schemes.”

This has to be in short sharp sentences, not lengthy prose. It is enough to give the audience a taster for what is to come “I’m here and I mean business.”
Your Introduction is the advertisement for your product – your presentation – think of a favorite magazine advertisement and base your introduction on that.

Call for Action
The action that you want from the audience as a result of the presentation needs to be made clear up front so that they can weigh your words against this request – if you just talk then at the end ask for £x thousand or to spend another 3 days with them then this can come as a shock. Warn the
audience beforehand what you want from them – tell them your WIIFM.

“At the end of this presentation I will be asking you to approve a 3 months feasibility study into our telephone system.”
“What I will be asking you is to agree to introduce a quality improvement program in the Northwitch factory as a trial for the rest of the group.”
“Finally I will be showing you how to sign up to become one of our approved resellers and benefit from our generous marketing pay back scheme.”

Exercise Three


TIME: 20 minutes + Recording and Feedback
Preparation of Introduction – 20 minutes individual work
After 20 minutes we will record everyone’s introductions and WIIFMs onto video tape.
This will be followed by tutor feedback to individuals.

•Work on your introduction to your presentation keeping it

Devise a way of establishing your credentials with the audience

Produce your call to Action

Structure of Presentation
The basic rule of any presentation is:

Tell Them What You’re Going To Tell Them
Tell Them It
Then Tell Them What You’ve Just Told Them
You will have many points you want to make to state your case. Select those that are

♦ Key for your audience – WIIFM
♦ Key for your WIIFM
♦ Most likely to have an impact now
Then rank the points into order and always put your most important point first. If your presentation is cut short you must ensure you have said the most important item.

Body of Presentation
We have already dealt with your introduction in the previous session; where you have an opportunity to make an impact on the audience. Now we come to the presentation proper.
Each of the major points that you are making in your presentation needs to follow a pattern reflecting the above “Tell them” statement. Each theme needs to flow as follows:

From theme statement…
to proofs…
to invitation to comment…
to problem…
to restatement of theme

Theme statement
This is the hook for each section of your presentation – the main point of this section. What is the key point you wish to get across to your audience?

“With an annual turnover of £7.2m a switchboard like your current one is probably losing you £30,000 worth of business every month.”

Proofs for this statement
Having caught the audience’s imagination with your theme statement, you must prove what you have just said – using facts, figures, graphs, charts – anything factual to show you have done your homework. This is the evidence for your comment, the reason why you have made such a bold

“Current research shows that:
85% of telephone callers who are not answered after 4 rings hang up
70% of callers will ring back later and of those
30% will try to contact a company 4 times
20% will not try again but ring another company
10% will have buying intentions
5% will actually buy goods from that phone call”

State the problem
Explain how the problem could have arisen. Avoid blaming anyone or anything, just explain that times have changed; business has changed. Be careful about pouring scorn on someone’s pet project.

“Your switchboard is the FGH version that can only cope with a volume of 30 calls at a time. Monitoring it for 2 weeks we found that it operated at 99% capacity for 6 hours a day therefore you will be losing callers every working hour of every day.”

Invite reactions
Ask if this accords with the audience’s own experiences. At this point you are inviting the audience to comment but ensure you are in control of the question. You are asking here for confirmation or negation about the problem as you see it; not opening up the presentation to as full discussion. In some instances you may feel that a show of hands could prove the point.
Remember, if you can get your audience to argue your case for you and accept that there is a problem then you have almost won.

“Yes… Every time I try to phone in from a customer site its really embarrassing. I can never get through…”

Restate the theme statement
You are now at the ‘Tell them what you have just told them’ stage and need to re-state the theme statement. Use different words to get the message across again and re-emphazise your point.

“So from this you can see that without any extra selling effort you could add up to 5% to your bottom line with a more efficient telephone system.”


To you it may seem very repetitious and tedious to keep on going over
the same information; however, this will be the first time your audience
have heard your arguments and therefore this gentle repetition will not
be upsetting to them.

Now you are ready to move onto the next theme – but remember to bridge between one statement and the next.
Bridging statements
These make the link between one proof and the other. They make the presentation flow rather than being a series of disjointed phrases and show the overall picture of the presentation.

“Now if we look at your sales effort…”

Theme statement two
“1 in 3 of your sales team cannot make their first outgoing phone call to a customer because they cannot get an outside line.”

Proofs for theme statement two
“In two week tests each salesperson was asked to record the number of times they got ‘not available’ when dialing for an outside line. In ten working days the figure was two hundred approximating to roughly one in three salespeople.”

State the problem
“So you have the problem of customers not being able to phone in and sales teams having difficulty phoning out.”

Invite comments
“I was asked to ring an important customer at 3.15 exactly as they had only 10 minutes before going into a meeting to get the latest details from me and I couldn’t get an outside line. In the end I went to the call box on the corner to ensure I got through…”

Restate the theme
“200 wasted attempts to phone out in 10 days leading to frustrated sales teams.”

“…and talking of frustration…”
By the time you have told of the turnover in telephonists, number of repair calls for the existing switchboard when you come to the call for action your audience will be anxious to agree to it.

Call for Action
This is where you ask the audience to take some specific action – the result of their listening to your presentation is that they will do something. So ask them for that Action:

“Finally ladies and gentlemen, I’d like you to agree to my company, ABC Phones, setting up a detailed feasibility study of your system with your Facilities Manager with a report back in three month’s time complete with cost figures.”

Argument Flow
Each theme should run through
theme statement…
invitation to comment…
theme restatement
then bridge into the next theme.

theme statement…
invitation to comment…
…then bridge into the next theme

Theme restatement

During and at the end of your presentation there should be discussion
from, with and between the audience, but remember it is your
presentation. Ensure that you always have the last word – and this is the
call to action.

Exercise Four

Structure of Presentation

TIME: 30 minutes + Video time
After 30 minutes individual work we will again record individuals on video

•Determine your theme statements for your presentation

•Rank these in terms of most important to least important

•Work on your most important theme statement and organize it into
Theme statement
Invite discussion
Restate theme
Bridging phrase

•If time allows, start working on the other theme statements in declining rank order

Organizing Supporting Materials
‘I Hear And I Forget; I See And I Remember, I Do And I Know’ -Chinese Proverb

Try to get your support materials to work as far as possible towards the “Do” and “Know” end of the spectrum.
The reason for wanting to introduce appropriate support material is to help those members of your audience that relate to pictures and real objects as opposed to listening to information. There is a surprisingly high percentage of individuals who need to either see or touch something for it
to have an impact, therefore all good presenters try to work with visual and real materials as well as relying on their spoken word.
Some examples of types of support material to consider are:Real things

♦ Would real objects help? Bringing in the product to let the audience see/feel/test it? Is your product attractive compared with the opposition?

♦ How complex is your proposal? Would it be aided by an illustration? What about posters?
35mm slides? Photographs?
Overhead transparencies

♦ Can you use the overlay facility to build up your argument? What about the use of color?
An overhead can magnify considerably when projected onto a screen and this will make complex detail clearer than could perhaps be seen in a photograph.
Flip chart

♦ Here you can list up specific words or concepts that can stay as a permanent reminder during your presentation. You can bring along pre-prepared flip charts or you can make them up as you go along. Do ensure that they are visible to all.

♦ These are very dramatic but remember to note factors such as scale. Take care with the number of lines and ensure that they are easy to understand. Also be sure to put dates on the graph.

Pie charts

♦ The requirements here are similar to graphs. Pie charts can be easy to understand, but do make sure that the segments are labelled appropriately and clearly.


♦ You need to ensure a high degree of audience sophistication before employing too many
formulas or you will be in danger of confusing them at best and at worst, be appearing to use formulas to prove your point rather than to illustrate it.

♦ How does this add to your presentation? What of the length and cost of preparation. Would your presentation suffer if you could not play the video? Is it compatible with most forms for video-playback machines? Can you ensure you have the attention of the audience when you show a video?
Computer graphics

♦ These are very effective and relatively cheap to produce these days but again make sure that they add value to your presentation and do not take over from your message. Ensure you are familiar with the technology and that the connections at the presentation site are working.You should always have a paper copy of your presentation available in case of machine failure.

The key is to know your materials; know how the technology works; practice writing, talking and reading from the materials whilst still maintaining eye contact with your audience.

Flip Chart
♦ Use bullet points
♦ Use colour: variety, clear, restrict to primary colours
♦ Indicate items with pointer (hand, stick)
♦ Print or write clearly

♦ Standing to side of chart
♦ Looking at and talking with the audience not the flip chart
♦ Write items on page in pencil so know what is next
♦ Writing on flip chart while you talk to and look at audience
♦ Write bullets in pencil to extract from audience
♦ Printing not joined-up writing
♦ Tearing off sheets cleanly

♦ Spelling

Try the following: rip a corner gently then pull or score with a penknife
or sharp item then pull.

♦ Use bullet points
♦ Use color: variety, clear, take care with non-primary colours
♦ Indicate items with pointer (hand, stick)
♦ Print or write clearly
♦ Stand away from the light source thus avoiding a shadow on the screen

♦ Changing the bulb
♦ Focusing
♦ Putting overheads on straight
♦ Printing on transparency whilst talking
♦ Turning off OHP whilst asking questions
♦ Sliding new transparency on whilst removing old one
♦ Using pen as pointer

♦ Color and variety
♦ Check for interest of audience
♦ Check for timeliness of slides
♦ Stand away from projector
♦ Stand away from screen

♦ Changing the bulb
♦ Setting up the projector to correct elevation (legs, books)
♦ Installing the cartridge
♦ Putting in slides correct way round
♦ Know the order of slides – in the dark…
♦ Using the remote control
♦ Pointing to the screen and talking to the audience
♦ Retrieving a jammed slide
♦ Putting the room into darkness then light again quickly

Exercise Five

Preparing Support Materials

TIME: 30 minutes
Consider the presentation that you are

•What support materials will you need? Justify each item of support material in terms of what it will add to your presentation.

•Prepare two different types of support material for your presentation.

•Check the prepared material for KISS

Preparing the Presentation
‘Set’ Appearance
This is how the area in which the presentation takes place is laid out – the stage set for your presentation. You may not have many alternatives but you can and should adjust things if you want your presentation to succeed.

♦ Are the OHP, Flip, slide, set exactly where you want them ?
♦ Can you be seen clearly by everyone?
♦ Have you room to move?
♦ Are your papers and materials arranged near to hand and professionally ?
♦ What about the seating – do you want to re-arrange the audience?


Good presenters always check their equipment before starting their

Appearance of the Materials
The way in which you have prepared for your presentation indicates your seriousness and professionalism to the presentation. Try to ensure:-

♦ Consistent overheads – not a mixture of hand-written and typed
♦ Same font in overheads
♦ Same font in any written material
♦ No hand-written pre-prepared material
♦ 35mm slides in the correct order
♦ Correct information on the slides/ohp/flip
♦ Easily read graphs/pie charts
♦ No spelling mistakes ..
♦ Clear distinctive colors

Your Appearance
When faced with giving a presentation, people tend to over-concentrate on what they are going to say and pay little or no attention to how they are going to say it (para verbal communication) or what they look like when they say it (body language). Although words are the main focus of attention
when preparing for a presentation, getting these other factors right is vital to its success.Research by Mehrabian in 1969 showed that we take in information in the following percentages:-

♦ 55% – Body Language
♦ 38% – Para Verbal Language
♦ 7% – Words Spoken
Body language

♦ How are you standing?
♦ What are you wearing?
♦ Where are your hands?
♦ What are your feet doing?
♦ What are your eyes doing?
♦ What does your posture say to the audience?

♦ Avoid hiding yourself or hiding the OHP screen. Stand in the audience and come into the body of the room when you are talking. If nothing else, moving around means that you keep the audience’s heads exercised by looking at you.

♦ Avoid slouching, or standing so erect that you look like a soldier on guard outside Buckingham Palace. Try to be natural.

Look the part:

♦ What is it appropriate to wear?
♦ Where are you ? A university? A business meeting?
♦ With your colleagues? With your peers? With others from the same firm?
♦ At an off-site meeting – if so, why have you been invited?


If in doubt wear a suit.

Look professional

♦ This includes such simple things as ironed clothes, polished shoes, no hems in need of mending or slips showing, clean and ironed ties…
It is very difficult to decide what to do with your hands in front of a group of strangers but at all costs avoid:

♦ Sticking them in your pockets – trousers or jacket
♦ Putting them on your hips
♦ Fiddling with “tools” – pens, pointers – or loose change
♦ Holding them in prayer
♦ Holding them folder across your chest If you usually talk and use your hands then do this too – gestures help convey meaning.


♦ Try to avoid dancing around the room – or even do little shuffles on the spot. If your feet are anchored firmly to the ground and your head high you will present an air of calmness – even if you do not feel that way at all inside.


♦ Your eyes reflect your emotions in a way that you cannot control easily. What is important therefore is that you maintain eye contact with the audience and do this equally with all members of the audience so that no-one feels left out. If someone appears not to be listening then staring at them for just slightly longer than “usual” will make them feel uncomfortable and turn their attention back to you. Looking at people makes them feel recognized as human beings and also enables you to judge the effect your presentation is having on your audience so you can fine tune it if necessary.

♦ If you are calm, reassured and confident in the way you look then the audience will believe in you and what you are going to say. A slouching back and nervous hand movements will not help your presentation – neither will arms folded like a fishwife and a thrusting chin and frown.
Non verbal language
This is the sound of your voice. It is difficult to alter your voice but try the following tips:

♦ Try to talk deeper than your own voice (especially for women)
♦ Talk more slowly than usual – what you are saying is new to the audience so they need to take it in slowly and understand it so – go slow

♦ Avoid sarcasm – unless among people you know very well – it often backfires
♦ Be enthusiastic about what you are going to say – it comes across in the voice
♦ Remember that what you hear is one stage less aggressive than what your audience hears when you speak

Try to avoid specific mannerisms:
You know….you know….. you know….. you see….you see….you see……
basically … essentially …….actually
If you are not sure if you have any mannerisms or not:

♦ Watch yourself on tape
♦ Record your presentation into a tape recorder and listen for them
♦ Ask your best friend
These annoying mannerisms get to the state where an audience will count the number of times you say “you know” rather than listening to what you are saying .
We will be looking and listening for the words you are going to say during the course but take care with:

♦ Technical jargon (bits, bytes, mips)
♦ Abbreviations (LANs, WANs)
♦ Talking over the heads of your audience (judge their level of understanding)
♦ Talking down to your audience (judge their level of understanding)
♦ Using double negatives (no-one can disagree with…)
♦ Too complex sentences – you are speaking this presentation, not writing a report (“Howsoever, when we take the first hypothesis with the second it is clear that unless one conceded to the possibility of an intervening second clause, that…”)

♦ Too many conditionals (should this not happen then unless the sun shines we will…)


The best advice for presentations is to KISS: Keep It Short And Simple.


♦ If you can bring some stories and anecdotes into your presentation then you will enable the audience to relate to you. Facts and figures are important as back up material, but a story or anecdote give a succinct picture and generally is retained longer in the audience members’


♦ As with stories, a metaphor is a very powerful tool to get your message across to the audience. A metaphor is a symbol that represents reality. For instance, you can talk about a budget as “The map that guides your financial way into the future.” Think of a simple way of explaining your point and try to find a metaphor.


♦ Use silence occasionally for impact. Let the importance of your words sink in. Remember you have heard the words several times – this is your audience’s first time so take it slowly and allow silence for people to think and assimilate the information.

Putting Impact into a Presentation To have impact, a presentation must be

♦ Positive
♦ Have actions clearly indicated
♦ Present facts clearly
♦ Be simple
♦ Be easy for your audience to understand
♦ Use stories and metaphors where appropriate

You need to develop and maintain rapport with your audience throughout the presentation. Do this by regarding each member of the audience as a friend and therefore smile at them, establish eye contact with them and move towards them as you speak.
Eye contact
Eye contact is essential since it is through the eyes that we communicate the most. You must ensure that you have established eye contact with every member of the group. In a very large auditorium with large numbers in the audience you achieve this by letting your eyes describe a ‘M’ and ‘W’ around the room. Take care to do this slowly otherwise you may go dizzy.
Go to the audience
Go into the body of the audience. Try to get close to them as you would with a group of friends.
Physical space can impact acceptability. Coming into the ‘U’ of a board room layout is very effective. You will know what is an acceptable space but the greater the distance between you and the audience, the harder you will have to work to overcome the coolness that the distance creates.
Using people’s names
If you know people’s names, use them. For instance ‘James told me that’ In a large auditorium when taking questions you can ask that the questioner identifies themselves before asking the question. This can help to personalize an answer despite the numbers of people involved.
Mirroring and matching
This is best achieved by watching the body language of the audience and copying it. In presentations it is probably better to match the pace and tone and volume of the audience. Some may be fast and quick and loud; others quiet, slow and soft. You should match their tones or else your contrast may be too much for your ideas to be accepted even where the ideas themselves
seem sound.

Sense Types
In the next exercise you do you will be discovering that people use different senses when trying to describe their world. These senses split into

♦ Visual
♦ Auditory
♦ kinesthetic
♦ Auditory digital (factual)
When you are giving a presentation you need to ensure that you use all these types of descriptors so that you can appeal to every member of the audience at some time or another. When replying to a question, listen out for any words that may identify the questioner’s sense type as this will
establish quick rapport between you.


Relax with the audience – they can be just as nervous at a presentation as
you are giving it ..

♦ Timing
♦ Language
♦ Rapport
♦ Respect
♦ Special techniques
You will have an agreed time allocation for a formal presentation. Check if that time is still appropriate and be prepared to shorten your presentation if necessary. You should be able to get the key message over in five minutes.
For less formal presentations set your own time limit of, say, 15 – 20 minutes presentation and 10 minutes discussion.


If you waste your own time for 30 minutes …you suffer.
If you waste 10 other people’s time for 30 minutes, you’ve wasted 5
hours of their collective time…


♦ Speak loud enough to be heard; slowly enough to be followed and clearly enough to be understood. Speak to the level of the audience – not above or below it and illustrate your talk with examples, facts, figures. Use personal examples from real life.

♦ Ensure your body language reflects your words – try to calm your nervousness.
♦ Use pictures, graphs, images – the eyes take in information five times as fast as the ears. Use this fast information flow to the brain.

♦ Establish and maintain rapport by talking with the audience members, looking at them and smiling. Your enthusiasm in your topic will encourage theirs.


♦ Respect your audience’s right to be there, to ask questions and to want to hear what you have to say. Avoid talking down to them, and work on an adult to adult communication basis.
Special techniques

♦ If one member of the audience is going to prove difficult then see if you can arrange beforehand for a supporter ( or two) in the audience to sit beside them.

♦ If one member of the audience keeps interrupting or asking trap questions then walk round to stand near them. This ‘blinds’ them from your vision and also your physical presence close by can be threatening and will quieten them down.

♦ Use any expert in the audience that you know to back up your statements by asking them direct questions such as, ‘how does that fits in with your analysis, Jack?’

♦ Look for signs of commitment and interest – move in close, arms in steeple position and smile at these people to encourage them.

♦ Look for signs of boredom and disinterest – shuffling, arms folded, and stare hard at these people – it can disconcert them and get them to try to pay attention.

You need to both ask and answer questions as your presentation proceeds but must be careful not to fall into a dialogue with one or two individuals nor to go so far down rat holes with questions
that you are detracted from your main purpose. At the same time some members of the audience may be out to trap you with certain questions for their own purposes. To try to avoid these happening here are some question types to consider:

Open questions

•These open up discussion and answers and are preceded by:

What ? Where? Why? How? When? Who?
Whilst these are excellent for interviewing techniques, they are not so good for use in presentations as you do not want to get the audience talking at great length.

Closed questions

•These require one word – or short – answers.

Have you ever..? Does this happen..? Is this the case..?
These are very useful in getting and maintaining audience involvement without letting them get too much of your “airtime”.
Rhetorical questions

•Questions that are answered at the time they are spoken.

…isn’t it? Don’t you agree? Correct? …right? You must be thinking, “Is this really the case?”
A good ploy is to ask the questions your audience may be silently thinking, then answer them in your own words to add to your proofs.
For example,
“Is training is expensive ?”
“Not when you consider the alternative of buying in trained people at higher basic wages”.

Information seeking questions

•Information seeking questions are asked either because something you have said needs clarifying, or because more details is required.

•Answer both with a quick example – if the person wants more detail then commit to deal with their points ‘off-line’ and remember to do so.

Any questions of this type from the audience indicate they are interested in what you are saying – they are listening to you .
Anticipatory questions

•These pre-empt something you are due to deal with later on in your presentation.

•Acknowledge the question and state that you will be looking at it later in your presentation. Once you have covered the topic, check that it covers the point that the questioner wanted to know. If not, then deal with their question immediately.

Trap questions
These fall into four main categories
Impossible choice

•This is when you are asked to choose between two impossible alternatives. For example,”So we either have to give up half our profits for training or increase our wage bill by 50% to get trained staff?”
Set up

•This often starts with “are you satisfied…”

False premise

•This question expects you to take the blame or answer for the actions of the whole of your industry

“All banks are charging exorbitant rates to small businesses. Why should we borrow from yours?”

•This starts with “Given the fact that…” which may well not be a fact and often is not a question.

Handling trap questions

•Recognise it as a trap question

This is not always easy to do but comes with practice.
Often by paraphrasing the question back to the person you can see the trap in it and then be in a position to calm it down.

•Calm down the anger in the trap as follows…

Impossible choice
“I’m not asking you to make such a difficult choice. I am asking you to think longer term about the implications behind cutting training budgets in the short term.”
Set up
“My satisfaction is not really important here but the success of your company is and one way to make it more successful is to install an XYZ system as has been proved by…”
False premise
“I cannot answer for the whole of the banking industry but my bank found out that only 2% of our 5,000 small businesses nation-wide were dissatisfied with their charges.”
“I cannot comment on those facts without seeing some proof but I know that our company has only had two cases brought against it for unfairness at Industrial tribunal.”

•It can be hard not to snap back or make a reply that makes the questioner look stupid. Try to avoid this at all costs. If you diffuse the question and give a reasonable reply then you will earn the respect of the rest of the audience – if you make the questioner look silly then the group will react against you and defend their own.

•Proceed with your presentation.

Exercise Seven

•On Day Two you will present to your fellow participants the presentation that you will give to your final audience and which will be videoed

•This should last about 15 to 20 minutes.

•Your presentation should be built upon all the stages of the course and will be critiqued by the other participants both as possible audiences and on presentation style.

•You should therefore have some of the support materials with you that you may need to use in your actual presentation.

•It will also be recorded on video and played back for general comment. You will be able to keep the copy of your video.


Improve your communication skills and conversation skills

Would you like to discover why some people seem to easily and effortlessly start great conversations with anyone they meet? While you struggle and wonder what they are doing wrong.Although it can seem like a complete mystery until someone reveals the secret to you.


Feeling shy, lacking confidence and getting stuck for words need not be the way you spend the rest of your life.The problem is you have been getting bad advice – from people who don’t understand what its
like for you to feel self- conscious. And unable to express yourself as well as you know you can in day to day life. Even though you do so well with your closest friends. Read on to discover the answers… Having superior conversation skills and great people skills is a matter of strategy.
These abilities are not reserved exclusively for some lucky elite group of people. I urge you to read and use the insights I share in this post and return often to this article to review the material. When I set out on this journey you now find yourself on I found it difficult to meet new
people. I was often shy when I desperately wanted to speak up. I lacked confidence in myself even though I knew I had a lot to offer. My day-to-day life was dominated by barriers to what I could do, would do and felt safe doing. If you ever feel unsure of yourself with other people, stuck for something to say and tense for no good reason then you know what I am talking about.
Let me tell you now. There is a better way! Devote yourself to learning effective communication strategies and commit to mastering them and your life will change beyond all recognition. I am the same person I was when I felt stuck because of shyness. The difference now is that I can
instantly feel confident with people whenever I choose to. I no longer get tongue tied when meeting new people. Making conversation is easy for me now and it can be for you too. You can do the same. All you need to do is learn advanced communication skills strategies that actually work. Little by little you can become even better than you expect in all your dealings with other people.
10 Simple Steps to Developing Confidence and Improve your communication skills.

Now lets cover the steps to developing superior communication skills that causes people to respond positively to your ideas and requests.
Step 1 – State Management

Every successful man and woman deals effectively with the constant pressure and demands of modern life. You need to learn to do the same. If you don’t you will fail to communicate at your best when it is most important that you do so. One of my millionaire mentors was telling me
recently how much he loves to solve problems. And he was smiling and excited about having more problems to look forward to! This kind of attitude allows you to approach life in a whole new way. It means that you feel positive and energetic when the pressure is on. Consequently
you will be able to express yourself well even in the face of stressful situations. And just as importantly, it means that you feel good when you communicate so that you come across as a capable and confident person. And feeling good makes it so much easier to make great conversation. Think of people who have charisma… Maybe your favorite actor or even someone in your office. Do they exude stress and worry? Of course not! They have charisma partly because they feel relaxed and in charge of their circumstances. Make of point of managing your attitude and your emotions. Your ability to express yourself in a charming way will soar.
Step 2 – Congruence
A second key factor in expressing yourself clearly when making conversation is the ability to have congruence in all that you do. What do I mean by congruence? I mean that who you are,what you do and how you communicate must all be in alignment. Charismatic people intuitively
know this. Think of a charismatic business leader like Steve Jobs of Apple Computers. He loves developing new technologies, it excites him and it’s what he wants to do. It’s part of who he is. And when he speaks he is talking about what he loves with a sincere passion. He doesn’t need to
pretend to be excited about his work and what Apple is producing. He is excited! In contrast think of someone you know who is doing a job he doesn’t really want to do. When he tries to be enthusiastic about his work it seems false. Because it is. To communicate with more impact you
must be congruent. Make a point of always doing what you say you will. And find ways of aligning what you want most in life with the work you do. For example if high standards are important to you apply this principle to all your tasks, even to those you don’t want to do. Little by little you will become more congruent in your work as well as in your home life.. This will
cause you to be fully present when you deal with coworkers and family. And when you speak you will have more credibility and impact.
Step 3 – High Self Esteem and that Charismatic Glow
I have never known a charismatic person who did not feel good about himself and the role he performed in life. People who approve of themselves and who have high self-esteem take good care of themselves and the needs of the people in their environment. They actively encourage
people to pay attention when they speak. How? Simply by the way they exude positive feelings about themselves and others. The opposite is also true. A senior manager who does not feel good about himself is incapable of treating his staff as well as they deserve. He is likely to be
harsh when he needs to be more considerate and likely to be unreasonable when he needs to listen more. He is actively encouraging people to avoid him. However when you do have high self esteem your friends and family will be more responsive to what you say because your non verbal communication will be more alive and more compelling. Make a point of appreciating yourself for you are and not just for what you can do. Be willing to accept praise from your peers for your contribution at work and be kinder to yourself when things do not work out. Think about the way you treat your best friend. Do you treat yourself as well? Probably not! Approve of yourself more and you will exude an aura of positive energy that will attract people to you.
You will then have more charisma and more confidence to say what you really think when you make conversation!
Step 4 – Energize Yourself
Confident communication and energy feed off each other. It takes energy to have an impact on other people and it takes energy to be charismatic. And when you exude charm and confidence you unleash the energy in those who are listening to you. They feel charged up and ready to
take action because of the effect your words have on them. Your goal then is not just to speak better and listen more. You need to make a point of having more energy. Find out how to eat in a way that gives your body energy instead of tiring you. Learn to meditate to let go of the daily
stress of life and take exercise you enjoy that makes you stronger. Before long you will dominate the afternoon meetings because you will be bouncing with energy while everyone else is struggling to stay awake! After work you will have more energy for socializing and meeting new
people – even making small talk will seem easier when you feel charged up. Remember your ability to display superior communication skills is limited without the energy to fuel it.
Step 5 – The Flexibility to Succeed
The leader that exudes confidence does so because she is flexible in how she communicates.She understands that different people respond differently to the same words and that it is imperative that she understands this and adapts her approach to suit who she is talking to. One
size does not fit all! Some people like to hear the message quickly while some need it explained slowly. Others want the big picture only but their colleagues get confused unless they get all the details up front. One of the most successful people I know is a master of communication
flexibility. How does he do it? The secret is to be a great observer! Watch and listen very carefully to other people when they speak to you. They will invariably talk in the way they like to be spoken to. If someone speaks slowly and explains his points with real life examples then you need to speak his language when it is your turn to speak. Speak quickly and in conceptual terms and you will have no charisma as far as he is concerned.
Step 6 – Stretch to Grow
Another trait I have observed through observing highly successful individuals is the attitude of always growing. These gifted communicators learned this craft by persisting and continuing to learn from every experience. After a meeting these people typically ask themselves how they
could have performed even better. And they stretch themselves everyday to do just a little better than the day before. Make a list of those situations in your life where you find it difficult to communicate at your best. Pick one to work on. Now brainstorm: What is holding you back?What skills do you need to learn? Who can I learn from? Then act on the possible solutions and keep adjusting your approach until you achieve your goal of communicating with charisma in these situations. Adopt this attitude of stretching and improving even a little each day and before long you will be a masterful communicator.
Step 7 – Join The Top 3% of Humanity
It’s shocking when you learn the difference between those who get what they want in life and everyone else. There is a relatively small group of people who seem to have all the luck. They drive luxury cars, live in huge homes, have great relationships and succeed at virtually everything they do. How do they do it? Well it’s not because of luck unless you believe that luck is due to preparation and an eye for spotting and seizing opportunities. The top 3% of humanity commit to self-development. They invest in books, courses and seminars to develop their skills
and abilities. They then go one step further and apply what they learn. Although it sounds crazy most people do not apply what they learn and not surprisingly most people live unsatisfying lives. Finally, the top 3% don’t waste time. They use the same 24 hours you have each day to get
things done. They don’t waste hours watching TV. These people are more likely to be producing TV entertainment or selling their products on TV than to be sitting at home vegetating in front of the box in the corner. You want superior communication skills? Are you prepared to do what the
top 3% do? When I first learned the powerful communication skills I now use daily I was impressed by the material I was absorbing in seminars. So was every one else! What made me different was the fact that after a long seminar I would spend the evening going over my notes and studying the material. I then spent at least one hour each day using my new skills until I had mastered the material. My communication skills grew very quickly and my confidence soared. I found it much, much easier to make conversation even when meeting new people. I doubled my salary in a matter of months. You can develop exceptional people skills and enjoy feeling deeply
appreciated and respected by others. Are you prepared to work at it? The choice is yours!
Step 8 – Beyond Wanting Approval
What is the source of that charismatic glow that some people have? Why does it radiate so strongly? When you do not want or need the approval of the people you are talking to your entire communication takes on a different and more energetic quality. And that’s the secret! Let
go of wanting the approval of other people and ironically you will tend to get that very approval.
Why is this? Quite simply people tend to take things at face value. If you have a conviction that you are correct about something others will assume you are right unless additional information proves otherwise. The same applies to approval. If you do not need approval you do not give off
the feeling that you lack approval. This encourages your listener to follow your lead and believe that you ought to be approved of. On the other hand when someone desperately needs your approval you can sense their neediness and see the craving in their eyes. This wanting approval
prevents the person from having confidence. A sound strange doesn’t it? Think of a time when you were fired up about an idea and you spoke with real conviction and passion about it. Think of a time when you did this with real confidence. In that moment isn’t it true that getting people to agree with you did not matter that much? Unknowingly you had stumbled onto a secret to charisma. The only challenge is that you don’t know how to get back into this state whenever you want to.
Step 9 – Be At Your Persuasive Best
Charisma is that aura that some people have that makes you receptive to what they say. In other words they have a persuasive charm that causes people to take action based on what they suggest. Would like to be more persuasive? Would it help you to enlist the help of your coworkers when you need to get things done? Do you want your family to pay more attention to your needs? The best communicators in the workplace do not rely solely on their position to get people to take action. They understand the importance of mastering persuasion skills to create an environment where staff willingly work hard to achieve results. How can you become
persuasive today? Pick a topic you will be discussing in an upcoming meeting. Next, pick holes in your argument and leave no stone unturned in looking to destroy your position. Now that you have a big list of potential objections to your message brainstorm at least three answers to each
objection. Once you have done this it is time to mentally rehearse how you will respond to these objections in the actual meeting. In your imagination hear someone running through these objections one at a time. For each objection hear yourself confidently and congruently responding. Reply with the three answers you prepared for each objection. Why? To cover all
angles and to build an inner confidence that only comes from thorough preparation. When you have a great answer to every likely objection you will be ready to deliver a very compelling message. You can apply the same principles to your family life when you want others to do more
of their share of chores!
Step 10 – Focus is the Fuel of Communication Confidence
To talk with confidence you absolutely must remain focused on your goals despite any problems you currently face. You cannot afford to worry about other things when you are talking. If you let your mind wander you will dilute the impact of your words. You need millionaire focus! Let me explain with this example based on a true story.. Barry was on the phone in his office, speaking with confidence, energy and passion. In his office were a number of removal men working quickly moving furniture out the door to the van parked outside. Before long the office was bare except for some old files, a cracked picture frame and a parched plant.
Just then a tall man in a dark suit entered the building with a swagger. He found Barry still on the phone, standing in a corner of the empty office. His voice echoed around the empty room as he finished his conversation and hung up and placed the phone back on the floor. Barry reached into his pocket to find his key ring, he selected the car key and reluctantly handed it over. The man in the suit grabbed it before walking outside and driving off at high speed in the luxury car. John walked in to see Barry just as all of this was happening. He was surprised at how relaxed and confident Barry was given the circumstances. You see, Barry had just lost his business and
the removal men had arrived to repossess his furniture while the car leasing company had taken back the Rolls Royce because the payments had fallen into arrears. John was here for the same reason – to collect an unpaid debt. Although it was clear now that there was little chance of getting any money. So John and Barry did a deal. If Barry would teach him how he could be so cool in the face of pressure than the debt would be regarded as paid. This is what Barry said to him: The big secret in life is to train your mind to think only about what you want to happen and to keep your thoughts off of what you do not want. Despite the fact that I have just lost my
business, my car, and my office I just got off the phone, before it gets disconnected, after negotiating what could be one of my biggest deals ever. Always keep your mind picturing what you really want and THINK ABOUT WHERE YOU WANT TO BE and not where you are. Stress is
what happens when you put your attention on the wrong things.
Most people live life in a trance without noticing the thoughts that are flying around inside their heads all day long. Spend more time each day spotting what you think about, you will likely find that you often run through all the things that could go wrong as well as seeing situations
working out only moderately well. Next, review a recent event where the pressure was on and you froze. How did you manage to put yourself in such an unresourceful state? What thoughts were going through your mind? More than likely you created big pictures in your mind of things
going wrong. Get into the habit of expecting things to work out and you will find yourself picturing life running more smoothly. You will then feel more confident, people will respond to you differently and you will get better results. Before long you will see that it is a self-fulfilling
prophecy. Decide who you want to talk to, be clear about the purpose of your communication and hold that outcome in mind. When you have a clear sense of direction it will guide you when you make conversation. All great communicators have an all-consuming passion that drives
them. It energizes them and this contributes to the glow that makes them seem so alive and dynamic. Focus is essential if you are to exude a confidence that positively influences other people. You can join them when you start applying the insights in this report. Start with the 10
principles in this document and notice how quickly and easily you transform your ability to make great conversation – even when dealing with people who used to make you feel intimidated and
unsure of what to say.

Conversational hypnosis for Beginners with Examples

What Is conversational Hypnosis?
To understand about conversational hypnosis you have to first understand what hypnosis is and learn about ‘Trance’.
People drop into trance many times everyday, Whenever they read a novel and are pulled into a riveting plot, when they become enthralled while watching a movie, etc. You yourself may have experienced Trance when you are driving home from work in your car, and as you begin
parking at your destination, you realize that you don’t recall driving the last few miles.
Your unconscious mind handled all the driving while you were thinking about something else. All these are examples of different forms of trance.
Hypnosis is just a process of artificially inducing a trance state in the listener so that they will listen and follow your
suggestions more readily.(Basically a hypnotist is bypassing  the subject’s Consious mind which may be resisting their suggestions and directly impregnating their idea or solution  in their subject’s subconcious mind )

Process to do hypnosis/Steps in conversational hypnosis
Attention:Absorb your subject’s attention; focus their attention. You need to pull it and draw it in to the hypnotic.
Bypass:Bypass the Critical Factor (and Bypass the regular conscious mindsets)
Bypass the little voice inside their head that says’Oh that won’t work”
Bypass habitual patterns to allow new patterns to be installed
– Stimulate the Unconscious Mind
Recruit their unconscious mind to perform actual change work.
Change work can be anything you wanted the other person to experience.You can make them feel great by saying good things or feel depressed by saying not so good things.

So what is conversation hypnosis and How this conversation hypnosis work?
My personal expectation from conversation hypnosis is….The ability to change the Mental State of the listener through the course of a conversation.I may be wrong.It may be just a subset of what i can really
do with conversation hypnosis…it may be just the tip of the iceberg…or just the cherry on Top of the cake….But all i want from learning Conversation Hypnosis is the ability to change the Mental State of the listener by just talking to them.
Lets face the following Real life scenarios:-
a.You are going in to the Boss cabin for asking a raise or for a salary appraisal but he is in a bad mood.May be he had a fight with his wife before coming to office that day.It’s common sense that if you ask for a promotion you are not going to get it.But…
What if you can talk with him with your conversation you can get him in to a lighter mood first?
That will raise the Probablity of getting a higher salary multiple times right?
b.Your wife is shopping.She is so excited and is about to buy things that are a luxury for your current economic state of your family.
What if you can bring her excitement down to a couple of notches towards reality,by talking with her,so that she realizes that the stuff she was about to buy was not a necessity.And she would think it was all her idea and appreciate herself for her selfcontrol.
Now,How much money did you just save with your conversation skills?

Conversation hypnosis in Movies:
My favorite example of conversation hypnosis in a movie is Below.It is from a Brad Pitt Movie called ‘Money Ball’
Brad Pit is a Baseball Team GM .He is disappointed with the little amount of money allocated by Scott the owner of the Team for him to spend on his Team to make it win.He enters Scott’s office and complains that bigger Teams spend 80 Millions for their Teams success and how he is expected to
compete and make his team win with a few millions.
The following is the modified script of what the Boss-The owner of the team says to Brad Pitt.
We’re a small market team. You’re a small
market GM. And I’m asking you to be okay
with not spending money I don’t have. And
I’m asking you to take a breath and sit
back and relax. And then I’m asking you to
get back in a room with your people and
figure out how you’re going to do the task
with the money I do have.
As he says that you can see Brad Pitt taking a deep Breath and leans back and he seems to feel relaxed.That’s
an example of the Use of conversational hypnosis.
Golden Nugget #1:
When someone comes to you with a problem, it only means they have forgotten where the right resource is which will help them solve the problem. When you find the resources they need and attach them to the problem, the problem vanishes. Approximately 85% of the time, this process will make the problem easily dissolve and go away.

Overcome Abandonment issues in adults

Before i lay down my solutions and healing techniques to help overcome abandonment issues in adults that is carried forward from childhood ,I want to reveal that i am not a psychologist or psychiatrist or anything.I talk from the understanding i gained from my own experience and from the experiences of similar people who were struggling with abandonment issues as adults,with whom i had a chance to interact and help with.

abandonment Issues and Parenting
Abandonment Issues and Parenting

The Fear of abandonment is a traumatic feeling experienced not just by children.It is a issue faced by adults across all ages and seniors also. Most of us think that people with the fear of abandonment acquired it because they have lost someone who loved them and are very close to them during their childhood,like a father or mother or both parents.While that is true to some extend many people may exhibit all the symptoms of abandonment issues but they may not have lost their parents.The reason can be a lot of things,Maybe they were Emotionally abandoned by parents who were too busy to physically and emotionally care for their children or they may have just grown up with the wrong Perception that their parents don’t care and love them and they may have based their perception on some specific incidents and memories from childhood.

Abandonment Issues can be categorized in to two Types

Physical Abandonment:
Physical abandonment is what a child goes through when he/she loses one or both of their Parents and have to relocate to live with a distant relative.It can also be when the father or mother has left the family to live with some other person.
Emotional Abandonment:
Emotional Abandonment is when a Person who is very close to you suddenly stopped loving and caring for you.Or it can be that even though you grow up with both your parents you felt that you didn’t receive the love and care you needed as a Child.Make no mistake,Emotional Abandonment is equally painful like Physical Abandonment.

    Signs and Symptoms of Abandonment issues in adults

If you are single….

  • Do you feel lonely and Bored and you yearn for that special someone you always dream about.Yet, when you come across someone resembling the one in your dream ,you avoid them.You avoid talking to them,avoid even seeing them because deep inside you feel you are not worthy of them.But you daydream that that special person will fall in love with you stalk you and get in to a relationship with you.
  • Are you Jealous of other people in relationship? Are you jealous  and cry in your heart when someone you are attracted to talks and mingles socially with other people?
  • Are you over emotional ?You have grown up still you react like a child in specific situations and people.
  • Do you suppress your emotions and try hard not showing any emotions to other people?
  • Do you second-guess and rewind and playback  every single thing you said  in a conversation because it will be misinterpreted by others and start worrying?

If you are in a relationship…

1.Do you try hard and go out of your ways to impress your partner because you want to keep them and you don’t want to get abandoned.

2.Do you suspect that your partner will leave you for someone else and keep a watchful eye on them?Are you clingy and needy and make your partner suffocated?

3.Do you fall for unavailable partners who don’t care about you and for people who are way below your league?

If you are a Parent…

  • Do you feel uncontrollable anger and get upset at your child when they cry loudly or Talk loudly or when they put you in specific situations outside your comfort zone?
  • Do you blame your children for everything and expect them to behave like adults.Do you expect them to take responsibility for their feelings, thoughts, and behaviors, but you yourself are not good at it?
  • You want your kids to be more emotionally intelligent and have the social skill that you lacked.But,when they learn and mirror your behavior you get nervous and you shout and get mad at them.

Good Responses and Comebacks for Leave us alone or Go away or get lost

Fear of Rejection is the greatest fear preventing may men and women from being more social and outgoing.In fact it is the single most thing that drives early teenagers to grow up as shy adults.Imagine how it would feel like when such a person tries to crawl out of their shell by approaching a group or a person and gets greeted by ‘Leave me alone’ or ‘Go away!’ .When a person takes such rude and nasty remarks to heart it will wreck their social confidence.

Comeback to leave-me-alone
Comeback to leave-me-alone

So when you approach someone with good intentions of joining them or their group in a conversation or a game but instead get the door slammed in your face with the typical rude ‘Leave me alone!’ or ‘Go away!’ or the more cruel ‘Get Lost’ responses….Then,Trust me,You need a comeback just to save your face and keep your ego intact.

Here are a list of Good Responses and Comebacks for Leave us alone or Go away or get lost

1) Are you like this with everybody, or just with people cooler than you?
2) Tell your friend that she has a white thinghy sticking out of her nose.

(This has to be said to the friend of the person who told you to get lost.
3) Now I understand now why you are lonely(without friends) in the party.

(When someone asks you to ‘Leave me alone’)
4) You guys are Mean.

5)Okay…ok.I understand that you are having a bad day.

6)Oh sorry…I never thought that you guys were in the middle of a date.

(Means multiple things.Best to be used when Two guys or two girls were asking you to leave them alone)

Finally a few parting points.Your comeback or response need not be mean it should just make you feel better after saying it without inviting trouble.If you can keep your ego unhurt after hearing a ‘Get lost’ or ‘Go away’ without a need to say a comeback or response then it is the ultimate thing,But till then hope these comebacks will help you do the job.

Conversational Hypnosis Techniques with Practical examples in Real Life

  • You take it in silently when your nosy Coworker tries to dominate you and acts as if he is your Boss. You convince yourself that staying silent is the wise thing to do in that situation.
  • You wonder why random Strangers you meet outdoors in Streets,supermarkets and malls etc.. Stare at you ,intrude in to your personal space,cut before you in queues ,or just act rude around you …
  • You feel you are invisible to others in social situations and during conversations people focus on talking with those accompanying you but they completely ignore you and you end up feeling self conscious about what you are doing there and you start to plan how to get out of there.
  • You are anxious about meeting new People or having conversations with People.You think people will judge you.You run out of things to say and end up in awkward silences.You think your communication skill sucks. have always wanted to…

  • Have the subtle language skills to make that Coworker leave you alone and make him run with his tail between his legs.
  • Get Respect and friendly vibes from People that you meet in public places.Make Bartenders, receptionists,waiters and other Clerical people treat you like a VIP while leaving others to wait till they finish giving you their undivided attention.
  • Make the opposite sex want to approach you and start conversations with you.
  • And when you finally talk back to them, you can make them laugh and let them feel what you want them to feel, and lead them in to a deep trance by giving them the experience of their lifetime… all in the course of a normal conversation.
  • And many more…
Conversational Hypnosis Techniques
Conversational Hypnosis Techniques

You may have personally known or seen someone who can instantly befriend anyone and talk their way in to and out of any situation you can imagine.They are the naturals and they have developed their people skills over a period of their lifetime watching and learning from successful and influential people they are growing around with.And then there are People like me,The Testers,who are not genetically blessed with influential parents and had to learn everything from scratch from self Help stuff. It requires a lot of time and money to test and find out which techniques work  in the real world and which ones don’t.

Problem is most Self Help methods that actually work in real life come with a very high price tag in the form of  boot-camps and Private seminars organized for rich clients like Businessmen and corporate executives .And even in these courses they add a lot of useless advice and techniques that will distract you.

Technically what separates ‘What you are now’ from ‘The Person you want to become’ is just the knowledge of a handful of skills and techniques and a series of steps you need to take.And some Time.

Get access to my Personal Notes i wrote in my Journey to as i transformed myself  from a shy teen to someone with the forbidden People skills. Some of these are derived from Underground Seminars on Dating ,Psychology,NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and Conversational Hypnosis that are meant for the elite few.These are shared by me and some of our members/Moderators who had the Time and money and passion to spend on these seminars.

What if you get to access to the techniques and experiences of People who are trying to attain similar goals like yours? How fun it would be to Interact and learn from them and put those techniques in your real life and make it work for you?

What if you have a Personal coach who would initiate you in just the needed People skills that you need to know to achieve your Goal?

The Good news is you can acquire the knowledge you need to develop the People skills you want from the courses and guides in the internet.Some are Free and some are paid Products.But the issue is there are a lot of useless advice and techniques floating around that will distract you and waste years of your time and money before you finally find your way to your Goal.

It took us seven years.We were a group of people each with a different goal towards self Development.Some had the money to spend to Attend Underground Seminars on Dating ,Psychology,NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and Conversational Hypnosis that are meant for the elite few and they shared their knowledge with us.Some contributed by putting the knowledge in to practice in the real world and sharing field reports with us.We functioned like a well oiled machinery but still it took seven years because there is so much myths and useless junk floating around before you can lay your hands on that ‘Golden nugget’ of information that really works in the Real world out there.

Every columbus doesn’t have to discover america.We give you the map.

NLP Instant Rapport Techniques

This is my Personal method or Trick or Technique to to Build Instant Rapport with Anyone
I presume that… like me you would also want to cut the fluff talk and dive in straight to the meat of the Techniques while you are learning this new skill. I was not that lucky because I had to wade through a lot of junk methods that wasted my time and energy before finding a few Gems that I could practically use in my Real life effectively and benefit from it. Good News is you will have the Knowledge delivered in a silver plate. My only concern is People sometimes tend to take the worth of things lightly if they get access to stuff easily but my only option is to believe that you are wiser to know that.

Instant Rapport Techniques
Instant Rapport Techniques

Firstly I want to tell you how I accidentally discovered this working technique about how to Build Instant Rapport with Anyone from a old Persuasion and Influence course. During my teen years I had speech related problems and by the time I crossed my teenage I became a extremely introverted shy young man. I overcame my speech impediment in my early Twenties and I was able to talk normally to people. Yet I could not come out of my shyness. When I go out I felt that I was socially invisible(Many times I would ask somebody something and they would completely ignore me ) and that is when I started to learn a lot of Self Help stuff, mostly Persuasion and Influence related stuff. I came across this old Recording of a Seminar where they claimed that they have a covert Technique that can help anyone develop a instant Rapport. I knew that I have to take this Method seriously and put it to test in my Real life and make it work simply because they talked about this one technique in the whole video.

Before we dig in deeper I want you to touch base on the basic Principles of this technique. It would be good if you agree with the following fundamental statements.
People like people who are like them.
Sounds so plain and True Right? Ok. If you agree with that statement the next step is to make anyone think that you are very much like them. That too we have to insert that idea in to their head in a couple of seconds we have while meeting them in a real life scenario. But HOW TO DO THAT?
I have took that idea from that seminar and add a few more working gems I already know and then Tested it and Tuned it and Optimized it and used and abused it …So much that I unconsciously use it every time I meet someone to make them unconsciously like me. Remember-I am not doing anything unethical or fancy…I just let them know that I am so much human like them.
Listen to everything I say from here on as they are the actual method. Take your Time to understand and digest it.If you don’t understand anything just ask me and I will do whatever I can do to drill the method in to your mind.
The following is a Real life scenario where we are going to Apply this Technique to make anyone Like us Instantly

1. When you meet some one… what is the first Thing we do?
When meeting someone…At what exact moment do we actually meet?
Answer: You look at the Person and the Person looks at you. That is when we humanly make our First step in meeting someone. You lock Eye contact. This stage may last only 1-4 seconds.

2. So we make a Eye contact with a Person (There are a dozen Eye contact Techniques to achieve different outcomes but we are not going to look in to any of them now except the one below.)
Eye contact is the first step or the first leap you take in to the Elevator for communicating with Someone.
So, What is the next step that happens when Two People lock a eye to eye contact?
Answer: Two things can happen from here.
a. Either one of them may break the eye contact by looking away.
b. Both of them Move to the Next Step. No! They do not have Verbal Communication Yet.

3. There is a Nonverbal Communication stage we go through after we actually make eye contact and before we Verbally communicate with someone.
This is the stage where we are going to apply our Practical Psychological Trick

So when two people Lock eye contact and before they say hi…. Or hello…Or Blah blah….They do a non verbal communication Ritual.
Everyone has a Non verbal way to say their hello before they Actually say their hello.
Some lift one or both their eyebrow.
Some wave their hands slightly.
Some smile in a peculiar way.
Some tilt their head slightly.

Now…can you empathize with what I am saying? If you don’t understand what I am talking about in this Step 3 then when you go out just concentrate and notice and look for this phase when you meet your neighbor…your colleague…your waiter…your billing clerk at the stores.

4. Most of us don’t even recognize this phase of Nonverbal communication signals. When a Person sends their Non verbal signal (a slight tilt of their head or a Grin or a eyebrow raise) we normally either say our verbal Hello or sometimes send our own Non verbal signal.
For example you are in your favorite restaurant and the waiter approaches you…Both of you lock eye contact….he lifts his eyebrows slightly…And you put a grin on your face…and you ask him the Menu.
The waiter is not going to like you instantly. He is not going to give his best service for you.

In your next table I am sitting comfortably. The waiter Approaches me…we lock eye contact… he does his standard lift of his eyebrows …I just copy him and lift my eyebrows the same way he did…then smile….and ask him the Menu…

I have already done my Trick. On a deeper level the waiter would be thinking that I am like him in some ways….he would like me…He would give his undivided attention and service to me, listen every word I say.
From the next table you yell ‘Waiter! just a minute’. The waiter won’t turn until I finish my conversation with him. You will be left to wonder why he is treating the Guy in the next table like a VIP and why you are invisible to him.

5. Because subconsciously at a deeper lever he perceives me as his friend(Since I matched his Non verbal Hello gesture) and you as different(since you have a different Non verbal Hello gesture).
To Summarize:
When meeting someone immediately after the initial eye contact everyone will do their non verbal gesture. It can be a slight tilt of the head, a nod, or Grin or a thousand other things. In reply our natural tendency is to do our own Non verbal gesture, which will make the other person see us different. Instead if we copy the Other Person’s non verbal gesture he will perceive us as his friend and will develop a likeness for you instantly.
Just Test this technique on random persons you meet in your real life and feel the sense of influence you exert on people. You are now empowered with the hidden knowledge of the elite few powerful people.
It is up to you to use it to the best of everybody involved.

How to not be socially awkward-Are you socially awkward by Definition

It doesn’t matter whether you are just starting to wonder if you are really socially awkward and questioning yourself ‘am i socially awkward?’ or if you have successfully convinced yourself  that you are socially awkward  long ago,this post is going to be of some help as we are going to take a detailed look from the definition to effective ways to become less socially awkward.

First take this ‘Am i really Socially Awkward’ Test Quiz

1.Do you feel restless or anxious when waiting in public for someone or something?

2.Do you feel that People are staring at you and often check whether people stare at you after doing something in social situations?You have difficulty in making and maintaining eye contact with people?

3.In social gatherings do you feel embarrassed in meeting and mingling with the guests and cling to only few people you are close to?And when your close friend goes to mingle with new people you feel self anxious and conscious and stand there without knowing what to do.

4.When you happen to share your office lift with some one from your work you anxiously wait till the lift reaches the destination to get out of the situation?If some kind of interaction takes place do you rehearse what happened in your mind for the next ten minutes?

5.When you spot someone from your workplace in a public place do you slow down or hurry up your steps to avoid meeting them and if you happen to meet them accidentally you feel socially inept ?

6.In social gatherings where you have the compulsion to interact with others and when you approach people and start communication with others do you feel Ignored? Or do you end up saying things that you should not be saying and spend the rest of the evening mulling over the incident?

7. Are the things you say to others with good intentions get misunderstood and misinterpreted by others and you feel socially inept and awkward?

8.Do you feel lonely and feel you have no meaningful relationship with others except one or two close friends?

9.Do You take a long time to come up with things to say to someone after your initial ‘hi’ and ‘hello’.Do you Run out of things to say in the middle of a conversation and the awkward silences force you to blurt out secrets or things that you are not supposed to say to them…

If you have answered most of the questions with YES or Hell Yes! then you so feel that you have socially awkward issues.Good news is that you can work on it and stop feeling awkward sooner with the right techniques and tools.

People with social awkwardness may find it a rough ride navigating the social situations and scenarios life throws at them. It’s like they are a sailor in rough seas who lost his compass.So to find their way out of rough seas and cruise to a happy island all they need is to find a Tool like a compass,or a GPS.NLP has plenty of Tools and Techniques to help overcome social awkwardness some of them so effective that you can see results after a couple of trials.



Obsession phrases -The Language of Desire- With Real life Examples

Obsession Phrases-The language of Desires or LOD  is a hot Product targeting the ‘women dating men’ Market written by the well known author Kelsey diamond but in reality a different set of Obsession Phrases do exist that can be used by men over women.Personally,i think ‘Obsession Phrases’ is a fancy name given to the old SpeedSeduction techniques authored by Ross Jeffries but no harm in drinking old wine in new bottle.The first impression anyone reading his sales page will get is that by saying some magical phrases women can get the power to influence men to fall in love and literally fall at their feet and live by their feet forever.If you ask me if obsession phrases work in real life then my short answer would be Yes,it is Real and Obsession phases do work in real life.However if someone imagines that by learning and saying a few magic words they can make a man or woman fall in love or get obsessed over them then i have bad news for them-It doesn’t work that way-Not that Easy.Obsession phrases can be made to work in real life but that requires a lot of practice and patience and trial and error before you finally see it work like a magic.The good news is that if you are ready to put in the effort and go through the Learning curve success is almost inevitable for you.

What are obsession Phrases and how and why do they work?

‘Obsession phrases-The language of Desire’ is a system that is just a small subset of Conversational Hypnosis.In simple terms…Have you ever been turned on suddenly while reading a romantic story on a book? Have you ever listened to some lyrics of a love song and felt strong emotions take you over? Like power words and phrases,There are some phrases that can trigger a state of sexual arousal in men who listen to them when said in a certain way.Some phrases are explicit while some are just plain and covert but yet they all work in achieving the objective of getting the man obsessed over the women that turns them on with it.When a women says the ‘Right’ word at the ‘right’ time  a chemical process is initiated in the man’s mind which can make him find the women ten twenty times more attractive than she is.

Have you ever met couples where one of the partner is smoking hot and attractive and intelligent while the other one looked plain and dull in comparison that left you wondering how they managed to keep the other one in his or her hook? Well,the secret is that the seemingly dull partner is having a secret trump card – The art of  communication,  when it comes to creating relationships that can last a lifetime.Accepting the influential power of words provides you both extreme capability and also extreme responsibility .Knowing what to say;when to say; and how to say
correctly and will get you everything you wanted, but neglect the
vital signs and you’ll be left sitting out in the cold in no time.

Kelsey diamond the author of ‘Obsession Phrases-The language of Desires or LOD’ starts his book with a personal story of his lady friend who is very attractive and having a successful carrier.She was in a ‘happy’ relationship with her boyfriend when her suddenly left her for another women who is not even half good in her looks and money.Women need to  understand that everything they say to a man can have massive effects in his mind even though it may not elicit any physical reaction in his face.

Chapter 1 – Understanding the Male Mental Theater.

In this chapter the author Kelsey diamond explains in detail the psychology of the Men and how special words get his mind to imagine and experience pain,pleasure and fear when a woman says it to him in the right way.Also when a woman knows to hit a man’s desire buttons with her words she is literally having him in her leash for the rest of her lifetime.He lists the Male Desire buttons and how women can bring his male mental theater to life ,with her words,that he will never consider leaving her for another woman for the fear of losing all the fun he is having with you.

Chapter 2 – The Big Secret of Obsession Phrases.

Personally this is the chapter where the real action starts to unfold and all the theory he was talking about up to this point suddenly seemed to make sense.Okay if you haven’t got a clear idea of what obsession phrases are all about you will get to have your ‘Wow!’ moments when you read the following example.

Let’s say a woman likes her man and she communicates it in words…what would she say.

‘I like you’ or ‘Like you so much’ or ‘i like you John’.

You think these words are enough to make him paint a vivid picture in his mind and get him excited and get his emotions stirred? May be if he is a teenager but if he is not you need to do much better than that.

How about…’I like the way you hold hands with me while watching horror movies in our couch.Somehow i feel more romantic and safe and happy.’

I bet you can do better than me,but you got the idea right?

Always Keep him Guessing:

The moment a man feels that a women is fully under his control and she would be there to serve his needs anytime he wants is the moment he will start losing interest in that women.The author Kelsey diamond seems to have understood this and that’s why he has advised women to have an outcome of ‘always keeping the man Guessing’ in her conversation with a man.So instead of saying ‘You are the best date i ever had’ and end up giving yourself in a platter to him you can say ‘I have had some good days before but i would remember the time spent with you today more than any other’. Now what the above statement does is to allow him go deeper inside his mind and ask questions which he himself tries to answer.He may question himself ‘What are the ‘Good days’ she is talking about?What else i can do to make it more unforgettable for her? and try to answer himself like ‘May be she is referring to the Good times  she had with her female friends’.

Make him Anticipate:

Ever watched Soap Operas where there is always some suspense near the end of the show that made you watch the show the next day,in anticipation,to know what happened?

Use the same technique and when you are about to end the date you tell him ‘I have to go now since i am tired.But i noticed somethings about you that i want to tell you later’. When he goes to his home and sits in his couch he will be anticipating what are the things you are talking about.He will call you and fix another date,in anticipation,just to know what you think about him.

Sleight of the Mouth examples-Conversation Tactics

In our daily lives…everyone of us  would  be put in situations where  a bossy Coworker or a nosy person is trying to dominate us in a conversation. In such situations we  may go blank …wondering whether to respond to them  or to move on  without confronting their statements.

The Problem with just ignoring these kind of people without confronting them by giving them a fitting reply is….They will come back at you stronger and stronger and start dominating you more and more. The only way to stop them is by giving them a fitting reply, that will make them wonder what hit them. When you have that kind of skill you will be confident in all social situations, knowing very well that you can handle any verbal challenge.

What is Sleight of Mouth?

Sleight of Mouth is a persuasion skill, a vehicle for the re-framing of beliefs. It is a system of 14 different patterns of response to a stated belief or statement. A system that, once mastered, can allow you to always have a response that will effectively elucidate your position and help you to persuade rather than be persuaded. Simply put, it will help you win any argument, be verbally powerful and powerfully verbal.

We all enjoy the nice come back punch dialogue that the hero delivers to the insulting villain’s remark.What if we can deliver that kind of Come back lines in our real life? The Sleight of Mouth Patterns will let you do that exactly!

What Will Sleight of Mouth Do For you?

Part of the power of Sleight of Mouth is that it gives you more choices and flexibility of possible responses. You will never be at a loss for something to say. And with 14 different possible responses, odds are good that what you say will stop your adversary right in his tracks.

How to use the ‘Sleight of Mouth’ Patterns:

The real challenge or Fun of learning the slight of Mouth patterns is to come up with your own examples that you can apply in your own life situations.In real life there are millions of things a person can say to you and we cannot cover the response for each and every insulting remark.But what we can do is give a example situation and statement and the fourteen types of comeback Responses you can give for that statement. You are expected to use the example as a model and come up with your Responses to use in your real life.

So Following is the situation:

You have arrived a little late to office and your boss didn’t seem to mind it. But the nosy coworker who has got no business to monitor you says something insulting like…

“You’re being late and it shows you don’t care about the job.”

There are 14 different responses you can come up with in this scenario:

  1. Reality strategy:

The Reality strategy Challenges the belief, based on the fact that beliefs arise from certain assumptions. Probe how they know that their belief is true and how they came to the conclusion.

The following are some of the responses you can come up using the Reality strategy pattern:

How do you know lateness and caring are the same thing?

I’m not sure how it is you have drawn that conclusion. Maybe the boss told that to you when you came late yesterday… How would you know if it wasn’t true?

What we are doing here is…instead of going blank or getting angry we asked them back a question…..and now they are the one going deep inside to find the answer to what we asked.

  1. Model of the world:

Model of the World,argues that the other person is making a assertion as a metaphor for something else.

Some people believe caring is shown by quality of the job done and the results obtained.

  1. Counter example:

Counter example uses exceptions where their statement would not be True- which weakens  the belief of the original statement.

We all know people who are always on time and yet are goof-offs once they get here.

  1. Intent:

This pattern highlights the original intent.

My intention is not to be late or uncaring but to give the company the best quality time and highest productivity while I’m here.

  1. Redefine:

Redefine the problem.

I wasn’t late, I was delayed in traffic.

The issue is not my being late but how much work I can accomplish today before the end of the day.

  1. Chunking up:

Chunking up is generalizing the whole thing to challenge the belief of the other person.

Are you saying the most important aspect of my job is showing up on time?

  1. Chunking down:

Chunking down breaks down the statement of the other person to smaller elements, then pick up any particular element and start attacking it.

How specifically are lateness and not caring the same thing?

  1. Metaphor or analogy:

Instead of replying to the question use a metaphor or analogy to challenge the belief and make a comeback statement.

If a surgeon is late for dinner because he is saving a life, does that mean he doesn’t care about his wife’s cooking?

  1. Another outcome:

Another outcome offers a alternate which challenges the statement of the other person. Switch the other’s attention from their original outcome to another.

The real question isn’t whether I’m late or I’m caring. The real question is how much I’m producing for the company.

  1. Consequence:

Consequence challenges the statement of the other person by highlighting a consequence of what would happen if the other person’s belief is followed.

If I wasn’t late I wouldn’t have been able to close the sale while I was at a breakfast meeting.

  1. Hierarchy of Criteria:

Challenge the belief based on more important criteria ,suggesting something more important is there to consider

Isn’t it more important to focus on how much the person gives while on the job rather than punctuality?

  1. Apply to self:

Apply to self,turns their belief/statement back on them-either by implying that the consequences they suggest to be  applicable to you is actually also applicable to them.

If you are concerned about the company you would not have told me this late.

I will like to give another example for this pattern. In a heated argument you say somethings and the other person says…

Other Person: Saying mean things means you are a bad person.

You:   It is too bad you said that.It’s a mean thing to say to a collegue.

  1. Changing frame size:

This pattern extends the implication of the belief to a larger(or smaller)scale,or to a longer(or shorter) time frame.

Over time, you’ll see I brought in more business in a timely fashion for the company than all of the people who showed up to work on time.

  1. Meta frame:

Meta frame challenges the basis behind the belief/statement instead of challenging the statement.

Lots of progressive companies are working with flex time for their high producers. I thought you were a forward thinking person.

Now imagine the power of having ALL these patterns at your fingertips for every single objection you are likely to encounter in every single situation.

You may understand some of the sleight of mouth patterns…find some helpful and usable….don’t have a clue about some of the other patterns…But,That’s okay. You don’t need all of them. If you can pick up just one or Two sleight of the mouth patterns and apply it in your real life, that’s all you need. Because,Some of the smart mouths in the real world just use one or two of the patterns.

Good Luck Practicing the Sleight of mouth patterns in the real world out there.