Do you find that generally people are looking away and seem to avoid holding direct eye contact with you either while talking to you or when you are meeting them for the day and just trying to say hello to them?And you are here to find the reason?Honestly,If you want to find the answer to why someone in particular is avoiding eye contact with you the possibilities are almost endless!The good news is that i will be trying to cover almost all possibilities and if you relate it to your particular context you will most likely find the correct reason why they act like that and you can also do something about it.
Firstly,if you have already established a good rapport,trust and relationship with someone who is avoiding looking you in your eye the best option available to you is asking them smoothly why they are not looking at you and try to get a direct answer from them.This approach is very direct and straight forward in theory but watch out for some pitfalls when you practically implement it.For Starters people don’t give a direct answer or they lie and way led you and thus will make you spend your time and effort in waste.Then,some people get offended when someone directly ask them why they are not looking eye to eye.Recently i happened to introduce my niece to my neighbor John,who is a Jerk by anybody’s standards.He was much older than her and he was saying stuff like why blondes are dumb and talked in a condescending manner.While we were about to part our ways he remarked ‘You were even not able to look me in my eyes’ and my niece shot back with ‘I can look at someone when there is something nice to look at!’. My neighbor was clearly embarrassed and i was having a hard time controlling my smile.By the way,when i asked my niece why she acted that way she said that though she didn’t find him physically repulsive she didn’t like his condescending conversation and wanted to get away as soon as possible.The takeaway from this incident is that i have the following Point to share with everyone.
The following are the list of reasons for someone to look away or to avoid eye contact with you.
1.If someone is looking away and not locking eye contact with you during a Conversation that may be because they are not feeling comfortable with the Topic of the conversation.
So the next time you want to make someone who is looking away to look at your face while you are talking, just change the topic of your conversation and see if you are getting any positive feedback.It is highly likely that the target will look in to your eyes when your topic is interesting to them.There is also another technique to test if they are avoiding eye contact really because they are not comfortable with what you are saying.When they are looking away just say something with their name in it and check if they start looking at you and hold the eye contact for several more moments or not.If someone looks at you when you call their name and immediately away then it is a sure sign that they are feeling uncomfortable with something.For example if you are talking about your supporting views on the recent immigration laws to Billy and you notice Billy is looking away you can test if he is uncomfortable with the topic by saying ‘Do you agree?Billy’ and still you don’t get much eye contact from Billy then that may probably mean that billy holds opposite views and it is much better to change the topic if you want to get further rapport with Billy.
2.If someone is looking away and not locking eye contact with you that may be because they don’t like you.
3.If someone is looking away and not locking eye contact with you that may be because they are shy or feeling anxious or having low self esteem.
4.If someone is not looking at you while talking to you they may be feeling guilty for something that they did or going to do to you or they are hiding something from you.
You can’t say that someone is lying or hiding something from you with 100% certainty just because they are not looking you straight in the eye but watch out for some of the below body language that may accompany avoiding eye contact to confirm for sure.
Hands touching the neck or the mouth regions.Some People even cover their mouth with fingers.
Touching their own nose.The hands involuntarily tries to cover the mouth but people become conscious and will try to avert it thus landing the hands on the nose area.
Scratching the back of the neck and rubbing of the eyes.
5.People Generally avoid eye contact when they are bored or disinterested or they are distracted with something else.
You are traveling on a long distance Train and you are feeling bored and look at the person sitting opposite to you with the intention of starting a conversation with them.You realize that your co traveler is not noticing that you are looking at them but she is looking down with her eyes to her left.You are wondering what is going on inside her head because you know that only when she is in the right state of mind she will be open to respond to you and will hold a conversation with you.Now,we cannot exactly predict what she is thinking inside her head but what if we can deduce what is going on inside her head? Trust me,when you can read a person’s body language and understand what emotional state they are feeling inside, you have a great edge when it comes to persuading them to take a action you want them to take.The ability to predict a person’s state of mind will help you not just in your relationship but also in your business and work life by getting you instant rapport with clients.
Back in the days when i started to learn the meaning of the eye cues,one of the problems i faced is,the confusion between Right and Left.When i searched for ‘Body Language Meaning of Girl looking down to the left’ in half of the websites there were images with eyes looking in one direction while in the others the eyes were looking in the other direction.The more i tried to understand which is ‘right’ and which is ‘left’ the more confusing it became.I was feeling frustrated till one day i understood everything clearly.If you don’t have any confusion between the person’s left and right i would suggest you to skip the next paragraph and learn what you came here for originally, to understand the meaning of eyes looking down to the left.However if you are confused like i was then the next Paragraph is very important and i want you to read it Carefully.
The secret is in the word ‘Their‘. Look at the image of the girl in the picture above.The Girl is almost looking at the floor and her eyes are to ‘HER’ left.Look at the text below the image ‘Eyes looking down to Their left’.Here we should be looking from her point of view.In some websites they translate this to your point of view and they talk about ‘Eyes looking down to your left’ or simply ‘Eyes looking down to the Left’.Here they are talking from your Perspective.I wish i could explain this more clearly but i think this would do to clear some doubts in your mind.
When a right handed Person is looking down with their eyes to their left it means that at that moment they are having a serious self Talk.If i were to explain the position of their eyes without showing any pictures i would say that It is almost as if they are looking at their own left knee or Toes.
What else we can deduce apart from the fact that they are in Self Talk?
We all have a voice inside our head that speaks to us in our Primary language.When we are having such a talk with ourselves our eyes would be unconsciously positioned down looking to our left handed side.If you are a right handed person you can double check what i said by catching yourself during a self talk.If you are a left handed person your eyes would be looking to the Right handed side during a self talk.Of course there are exceptions but as a thumb rule what i said above holds water and will be accurate in 80% of cases.
Let’s say you are talking to your date and you are describing your first kiss experience and you notice that your partner’s eyes are looking down to their right hand side.Freeze…What does this body language Mean?
If a person is Looking down to their right their body language indicates that they are attending to their internal emotions.They are just feeling the emotions that they once experienced or the feelings they are experiencing at the moment.
So in our scenario your date maybe focusing on how her body is turned on by your narration of your intimate experience.Or She is focusing on her feelings,her own first kiss experience and how it made her feel.In short she is attending to her internal emotions.
If you ask someone to “Do you remember how cold it was there when we went there last year? “, and if their eyes look down to the right then they have probably recalled the chillness and are experiencing those feelings again.
There is a subtle difference in meaning between a ‘person looking down to their Right’ and a ‘person looking down and to the Right’ and it’s very important to know it.Let me illustrate both cases with the help of examples.
‘looking down to their Right’:You are in a conversation with someone and you notice that the Person to whom you are talking to is ‘looking down to their Right’.If you were talking to them about the severe headache you had the previous day then there is a good chance that your friend is feeling his or her own headache pain they had last time.
‘looking down and to the Right’:
You are looking at someone and they just made eye contact with you, but just for a second,immediately they started looking down and to the Right or even left-If i exaggerate a little bit it is like they are looking down at the floor and sweeping their eyes to their Right or left.Okay,now that you know the difference between the two cases you may be curious in knowing what it implies when someone you look at is looking down and to the right.Well it is very subtle to tell for sure because the context of the social situation plays a big hand on what the body language implies but allow me to throw my 2 cents.
In a dating situation looking down and to the Right or left after holding eye contact for a couple of seconds is a good sign that the target is attracted to you and is evaluating the feelings she or he has for you.It is a lot better than someone looking at you for a few second and directly looks at their right or left without lowering their eyes down or looking down-Which is a surefire sign that they are not interested in you and just want to move away from the situation.But if they look back at you again a few seconds later it may mean that they looked away as a knee jerk reaction and now they want to make eye contact with you again if you are still interested in doing so.
When we talk to a person what is the most notable thing you see?Their Eyes,Right?
What if you can guess what a person is going through in their mind by just looking at their eyes.There are plenty of advantages if you are going to develop this skill and you will become better and better at reading a person and adjusting your response accordingly.
Don’t worry that you are going to come up as a weirdo for looking in to their eyes,you are just going to appear as a confident and curious Person.