How to not get upset or angry over small things

Getting upset or angry is human nature. Misunderstanding, work stress and conflict are some of the reason to get upset. Everybody gets tensed and upset if a situation arises that does not favor them. Does every situation  that we are put in to our daily lives always favors us? No, certainly not. It is impossible too. So it is better to know how to not get upset over these small things by making little changes to your thought process when you cannot change the environment. With a little knowledge and continuous practice, you can overcome your habit of getting upset over little things and you will be able to be happy in your life.

How to not get upset over small things
How to not get upset over small things

These techniques on how to not get upset or angry over small things will help you save you from frustration and trouble that you may be currently facing in your real life.

One Second Technique:

The moment you have decided to read this article you have taken the first step towards getting rid of your old habit of getting upset over trivial   things. It’s good to see you here. Kindly note that in the topic itself it is mentioned as ”small things”. Hence the first and basic step you should understand before getting pressure is to identify yourself the reason whether it is really worth to get tensed in this place, time and particularly for that small thing. If you think about that for a while, really you will feel that you don’t need to get tensed. A one second thinking will definitely bring miracle in that situation and it will totally change the conflict situation to a pleasant one.You will not understand the power of this technique unless and until you practice it in real life situations.

Changes in Body:

Do you know what really happens to your body if you get tensed? Actually our nervous system gets frustrated . This frustration automatically accelerates heart to beat faster, muscles become harder and sweating will be high. It disturbs your total Central Nervous system and makes you weaker. So Physically sitting or lying in a relaxed posture and wearing loosely fitting clothes and taking a pleasant shower will cool your state of mind considerably.

Take a deep Breath:

Whenever you are in angry mood, inhale deeply and have a deep breath. This will force you to intake more oxygen to your brain and it slows down your heart beat rate. Breath 4 or 5 times deeply at angry stage and you feel yourself that your mind is becoming fresh and calm. You will definitely feel your mind’s  change of state quickly

Counting Numbers:

This is also a one of good practice to calm down your mind. That too Counting the numbers in reverse order will even give much benefit than normal counting. This will allow you to distract you from your angry state of mind to some kind of counting concentration. Imagine you are feeling better and better when you are moving to the next number. You can do this exercise anywhere whether you are at Work place, home, theater , shopping mall and anywhere you feel when some situation arises that frustrates you.

Move out from Upset situation:

Suppose let us consider the situation that you are upset with your wife for a thing she has done already and you know that the situation is going to escalate to a quarrel shortly. During times like this, it will help you a lot if you move out physically from that place instead of arguing with her for some act which she had already committed. First stand up from that place, wear your shirt, tell her that you are really upset and go outside. Physically removing yourself and avoiding the unfavorable situation  is one of the best practice to follow to stop getting upset easily.

P.S :Someone commented that it is a bad idea to walkout of a situation and it is better to stand and face it.Yes,That is true for certain cases but remember we are talking about what to do when you face small issues. These kind of issues generally tend to fade away if you don’t make it bigger by saying or doing something stupid in the heat of the situation.

Take a Long Walk:

Walking is a good exercise to let your mind that upset feeling down. Try to find a park nearby your place or a nature green field.  Walk as much as possible. Imagine that each step you are letting your frustration down through your feet. Increase your number of rounds in park  until you feel calm and comfort.Ideally you can combine it with the previous technique to make it more effective. ie.. when you move out from the problem situation you can go out and take a walk by the Park.

Accept your Thought:

Try to observe your thought at the time of anger and frustration. Accept that you are upset. Getting Upset is a natural human emotion and we are experiencing from time to time. That’s all. Make a note of the reasons for why you should get angry? Make a list of it. Analyse yourself the reason that whether it is really worth and try to avoid that thing from the next time on wards. If the reason is a valid one try to accustom yourself to the real thing.

Self Realization:

Imagine that you are driving your new car. Think that a car from your rear side is trying to overtake yours And for that he is driving rashly and even coming closer like hitting the car and making scratches. Really you will feel upset right? On that time you should practice to tell yourself that these overtaking and rash driving are common while driving. We should not get tensed or upset for this  and all. Becoming upset instead of driving will even worse your driving skills and it will lead to disturb your concentration in driving and thereby making some other accident to occur. So calm yourself by saying “Some people are like this only.” You won’t be able to change the world. Instead  try to change yourself by not getting upset over small things.

Listen to Music:

Music has an extraordinary power to bring back calmness in your disturbed mind. Everyone loves to hear music, right? It’s a scientific and proven method to get yourself relaxed. There is no language for Music hence you can hear whatever you like whether it is classical, jazz, pop or rock. But some sort of classical and light music are more effective to spread happiness in both your mind and soul.

Overtaking Negative Thoughts:

Humans are generally well accustomed to negative thought rather than positive thinking. But you should compensate that negative thought by indulging positive thought over it and thereby creating a happier situation to yourself.  Sometimes you may think that “Nothing happens right for me, everything always getting messed up”. In this time you should change your thinking as “ Everything will be alright sooner” “The Day is mine and I will achieve it with the almighty “ “ I have ability to do and I will prove to world who am I” . Like this you have to re frame your thoughts by analyzing it

Do Physical Work

Doing physical work will release your tension. It will give you some sort of relaxation on completing the work. Go to your garden, pour water to all the plants. On finishing this activity, you will definitely feel a happier state of mind on seeing the faces of flowers which silently smiles and thanking you for watering it.

  • Clean unwanted garbage in the garden
  • Cut unwanted branches in the tree
  • Do Exercise  and regular exercise will relax and regulate your mood

Meditation:

Meditation is the best way to lower your stress level. Regular practice of meditation helps you to keep always in a happier mind. Early morning meditation improves your mind ability and it gives you always a free state of mind

Try this simple steps when you get frustrated try to practice these techniques on how to not get upset or angry over small things.

How to Change your drinking habit – Part Two

Today you can see most of the people around us are addicted to any one of the bad habits. Somehow or other they are addicted and now they are struggling to come out from the same. They even don’t know what to do to overcome this habit. Whatever the habit, whether the habit is minor one like biting the nail with your teeth or major health ruining habits like smoking / liquor drinking, a small conscious effort will make you to get away the habit from you. If you are the person who is looking for the remedy and by chance you are reading this article, I can tell for sure that you are the most blessed one.

Change drinking habit
Change drinking habit

Make a note:

If you are a person willing to overcome a habit, Put a habit notebook separately and enter your actions. Watch yourself for at least one week or 10 days.  Try to make note of the habit on regular intervals, whenever you do the habit or feel tempted to perform it. This helps you to find yourself how often you are forced to practice the habit. After analyzing the frequency of doing, slowly cut down the numbers. If suppose you are addicted to junk food for 5 times a day, try to bring the no. of times from 5 to 4 per day , then from 4 to 3, like this. This will help you to minimize the habit and at certain stage you find yourself out of the habit naturally.

Think over the bad effects of the bad habit

If you feel that everything goes smoothly from morning to evening till the time comes for you  touching the alcohol and you are very much aware that drinking is not good for health and still you are not  able to stop? .Well. Think over the aftermath of drinking which happens suddenly consuming liquor. First of all, you yourself don’t know what you are doing under the influence of alcohol. That is, you are doing thinks even without your knowledge. You may experience the situation that you and your friend would have gone together for boozing last night and if you see him at morning he will not speak with you or even he will stare at you. You didn’t know what exactly happened yesterday night and after that you come to know the real situation that there was a quarrel between you and your companion. Just a liquid makes you to do things without your conscious. Only animals do things without their knowledge .You are human..right?. Definitely you may experience the hangover tomorrow morning which makes you to feel uncomfortable. It is an obstacle for doing your duty. Your regular works are affected by this headache it produces. Finally all your works are spoiled just due to the intake of alcohol last night.

Mainly, your social status will be completely diminished.

Think about the health problems like Tuberculosis, cancer formed due to smoking and liver bulging, , jaundice,  heart attack, nervous weakness due to liquor drinking. Kindly note here if you have any problem in kidney it may be adjusted since humans are having 2 kidneys. if one is affected , it can be managed by the other one or even you can undergo kidney transplantation or something like that. But if Liver is affected, nothing can be done.  No transplantation can be made. Such a difficult and wonderful part it is. Jaundice is a silent killer.

Think about the family for a while

Think about the situation of your family if suppose something has happened to you. You may definitely have beautiful partner, lovable kids and affectionate parents.  Who will look after them? Who will take care them?

Anybody will replace your loss? Moreover is there any replacement? You are unique and no one should fulfill your place.  If you feel next time to think about smoking/ drinking, bring all this things into your mind. Think for a while. Why should you want to spoil your own health and put your near and dears into unpleasant situation.  Those who are having real affection with their family won’t do this habit if they think about these things…Right? Hope you are also having true affection?

Changing the game over

Keeping all this things in mind, try to avoid this bad habit by paying little attention over it. If you feel to have liquor, change your mind set. Go to a super market and have any health drink. It will improve your stamina. Have real fresh juices like Mango, Orange and grapes. It contains more vitamins.

If you feel smoking, have a cup of green tea instead. It will refresh you. It will make you to do your work more active. Chew bubble gum whenever you feel smoking. It is an exercise for your face making the muscles stronger and brings your face a correct shape.

Keeping Stomach full

This is one of the easiest ways to avoid drinking. Don’t let your stomach to feel hungry. If you feel hungry, give something to grind your intestine. At any cost don’t leave your stomach empty. Because an empty stomach can induce drinking feel. If you keep your stomach full, then you are not possible to take anything more and gradually you won’t take alcohol also.

Getting rid of habit temptation

Takeaway all the things which makes you to remember the habit. If you are a regular drinker, take away all the old bottles from your house and throw it in dustbin. Don’t meet people who tempt you to drink. Avoid those persons. They are more dangerous. They themselves will not recover from the habit and never allow others like you to recover. First of all, cut their friendship.

If you cross or visit places which makes you to feel drink. Don’t go there. Instead take alternate direction and travel in some other way or street.

If you are accustomed to drink daily by a certain time, utilize the time for any other creative work . Engage yourself. Spend quality time with your children. Play with them. Go to nearby park with your kids and discuss with them. Have a friendly chat. This will make them to feel happy and pleasant.

Avoid the objects, people and places which force you to fall in the habit.

Other way around

Consider you are a snacks eater often and you want to get rid of the bad habit. Move the junk food to difficult to access location in your kitchen/ dining hall. Delete the food items from your purchase list. Next time if you go to shopping mall, move away from the junk items section. Buy protein rich items instead. Don’t visit that particular area. Take with you the exact money for the purchase and don’t take with you any extra/ additional money so that you can avoid buying it.

If you think that you are spending most of your time with mobile itself wasting precious time unwanted and planning in mind not to practice it anymore. Attend calls only if you feel it as important. Avoid unnecessary argument with friends over phone.  Try to convey the matter in simple way. Close the subject short and sweetly. Try not to roaming always on internet. Don’t view unnecessary advertisement. Activate Airplane mode. Suppose If you are In hall, keep the phone in some other room.

Making the habit unpleasant

Adding extra thing to the habit for the sake of making it unpleasant is the other way to come out from the habit. Good example for this is nail biting. If you feel you are a continuous nail bitter, apply something on your nail which you don’t like or makes you to irritate. There are some products available which gives bad odor or souring taste each time you bring your finger near your mouth to bite.

Be cautious

If you feel yourself that you are suppose going to do the habit again, keep thinking yourself that you are succeeding in the process of practicing the bad habit to let off and you should not return to the same nasty condition again. Give orders to your mind “Don’t do it, Don’t do it” continuously. Get away from the situation. If your smoking friend is taking one from cigarette pocket, tell him “No thanks. No thanks”. Change the topic and start speaking some other interesting subject. So that you are also able to escape from the compulsion scenario.

Appreciate yourself

If you find Success in achieving your target of leaving the bad habit for the first time, Award and appreciate yourself. See the level of confidence you had on that time. Give simple treat to yourself. It may take several attempts to reach this stage. But don’t give up. Be positive. Once you taste the success, you will be able to follow it continuously.

Change the place

Relieving from the habit will be made possible if you are put in a different location. A change of place will place a new change in your life. Because old and same place may induce you to do the habit again and again. Brain is accustomed in that way only. Go for a weekend trip. Visit new places with friends/ family.  Enjoy the different situation

Utilizing the same time for good one

If you have been wasted 2 or 3 hours per day for drinking and now you are trying to come out from the bad thing…Good. Use this time for a more creative and useful purpose.  Join a drawing class. Bring out the artist within you. If you don’t know how to swim, join swimming class. It will be very useful when a critical situation arises. Why not try for a gym? Improve your body physic and structure. Be healthy.

Exercise regularly

Exercise will bring you out from the habit and make you feel comfortable. If you start giving importance to maintain your health, you won’t again go for the bad habit which affects the health. So practice exercise

Seek help

If you feel disguised, contact your friend or well wisher who is having true interest over you . Put your ears on their advise. Call them whenever you feel negative. Ask them to give you some examples of how they left the habit

Meditation

When you feel you are going to fall in the bad habit again, immediately meditate. Stop doing things whatever it may be. Close your eyes and be feel yourself strong that you have capacity to overcome this simple thing. It is nothing to you and feel you have more powers within you.  Think “You can and certainly you will be”.

How to feel excited about life again after a breakup

Most people feel that a Break-up is the end of their life.There is so much life to live after a heartbreak but some people think to end up your life by taking wrong decisions .To be strong during break up is somewhat hard only, but it is not impossible. You can change the impossible to possible by bringing out  little changes in your mind set. That’s so simple as that. Break up is normal happening these days  and you should be well prepared to accustom whatever the worst comes in your life because you never know what will happen at the next second in your life. If you are ready to handle this situation this article will help to find ways of handling the same in a positive manner.

Feel excited again in life after breakup
Feel excited again in life after breakup

Be Practical:

Set right your mind. Understand that pain is normal to all and you are not the exemption for that. Accept the pain and adjust your mind set according to the situation. You are not the only person in the world who experienced break up and there is more and more number of persons waiting in the court queue daily for their separation legally. Whatever the case it may be, from just married couples who lived together for just 2 or 3 months to long lived couples for 20 or 30 years. So you should not feel that you are the unique in this world struggling worse. There are many more known/unknown cases that are even worse than you. This is true and you should believe it

Cry Loud

Let the sorrow be out from your mind in the form of tears. Recent Research tells,” Those who cries a lot in their sadness relieves quickly than those who didn’t cry”. So, don’t feel shy to cry. If you keep your sorrows within you dumping in the brain itself, it increases the pressure, affects your nervous systems which in turn make you sick.  Cry loud and release your sorrow to go off from you. Try someone’s shoulder that you can trust.   Allow your tears to shed and be feel relaxed

Identifying and find the root cause

Imagine you and your girl friend are dating for the last 4 or 5 years and consider the terrible situation that you two have been break up recently somehow or  other due to some reasons. It’s really pathetic..Know?  Maximum Try to convince her for the thing which made you for break up. Be honest in your reason and don’t ever try to cheat the lady love. It’s not good for a healthy life. Tell her that error is human nature. Promise her for not repeating the same mistake. Not only the same mistake, try to mostly avoid any kind of mistake which hurts her.  Most probably she will be convinced if both of you have a good understanding.  Speak with her open heartedly. Most of the problem in this world will be solved if both the side’s views are spoken clearly without any ego. Even problem between two countries is solved by UNO just by conversation and by examining their views. Or otherwise it will lead to war between two countries. If a war can be stopped by mutual and open discussion why not yours. So try definitely you will be succeeded

Analyze your inner thought

Breakups can make you to doubt your self worth. It may make you to feel “You are useless and fit for nothing” or “you are the victim and this breakup will ruin your life”. Remember these are your own feeling and most probably these things are not as true as you feel. Worldly things are different from your inner feel. Sometimes it is totally controversial.   Change your mind to think as “This is not my fault” and “You are in pain now and Anyway it will be OK shortly “.

Think about the positive and good character you have. Think about any help you did to your friend and his appreciation how supportive you are?

Avoid violence activity like punching the door, hitting the car, breaking the glass or even tearing the pillow. It will not definitely going to solve your problem and it increase your anger and pressure only.

Distract your mind

Don’t going on thinking about the past thing-the breakup. What happened is happened only. You are not going to rewind back to the Past and set right the things. However it is not possible also to restructure a thing which happened in the past since time can’t be brought back.  Instead allow your mind to concentrate on creative things . Keep yourself busy.

If you know painting, try to paint a natural scene with mountains and rivers. Paint a smiling baby face. It decreases your tension.

Write a poem on your own. Don’t care about the grammar mistake. As per medical studies, Writing cut down your tension and stress into half

Hear Good music. Listening to music throws away all your depression and makes you fresh

Go to a pub and dance. Dancing skill makes both your body and mind active

Read nice books. Reading self confidence books will boost your energy.

Don’t again and again feel about the break up only and try to distract the mind to any of the above said thing since distraction is the immediate medicine which will heal the mind wound and relieves pain

Positive self improvement Quotes

The result of break up surely makes you to feel unworthy and making negative things to enter your mind. You may think “You are unlucky or your life is full of destruction and sorrows or success is far away from your life” .Don’t let this type of things in your mind. Paste the following proverbs in the hand wash mirror, windows or doors

You are the special person in the world and you are here to achieve something in the world

You are capable and nobody is equivalent to you

God is always with you and you can do anything with his blessings

You are here to make wonder in the world

Nobody will replace your position and you are such a valuable person

You are lovable and caring and many more people need you

Stick these messages wherever possible and often see this

Throw away the mementos and gifts

Get rid of your ex’s things you have. Throw it off to dustbin. Do you think holding your ex’s photo or any gift with you will change the situation. Past is past. It will hold you from healing and not allow moving on. Don’t visit places where you used to meet your ex. identify a new date spot and try to form new relationship.

Never try to contact your Ex. Delete his/her phone number from the contact list.

Remember keeping things of a relationship you don’t have any more will nothing to do

Stay away from phone. Block the contact. Don’t look up the pages in social media.

Exercise

Exercise is the best way to vent of tension and stress. Regular exercise will keep you to stay fit and calm. Endorphins which released in brain during exercise makes you feel happy. Allot at least 30 minutes time daily.

Travel and stay outdoors

Meet your friends and plan for an outing. Go to hill station. Have a nice bath in waterfalls. Go for a trekking. Light campfire and sing your favorite song with friends. A change of place will definitely bring you a change in mind state. Enjoy the nature up to the full swing.   Laugh with your friends as Laughter is the best medicine for pain.

Outlook change

Go to Spa and change your hair style. By changing the hairstyle you really get a new look. Keep in mind this new look should be in the way which should boost your confident level.

Join a gym. Bring your physic in shape. Having fit body increases confident within you.

Visit shopping mall and buy a perfect outfit which fits your shape. Try for a new variety which you never wear.

Try to bring a change within you.

Getting a new opportunity and changing your interest over other

Your girl friend/ wife may have breakup with you. Do you think “Life is over just because of this single person?”  Get Lesson from this breakup. Understand this is just a part of life. Also remember he/she is not the exact pair may be and that’s why you met with break up without mutual understanding. Utilize the opportunity. Now you are free and you may get a chance to find out a real apt pair for you. Identify a person who really impresses you as per your taste. Do you think that your Ex is the single available opposite sex in the world for your love or to live together? There are plenty of people who will love you even better than your Ex. Start a new happy life

 

How to handle and deal with disappointment in relationships

Why do we feel Disappointment in a relationship?

How to handle disappointment in relationships
How to handle disappointment in relationships

Disappointment is a thing which all of us don’t want to experience in our life somehow or other. What is Disappointment? It is just a feeling when you expect something and it doesn’t materialize the way you expected it to be. If you get Disappointment that means you are expecting something from others. Here I would like to explain the fact that the reason behind the disappointment is nothing but Expectation. So expect less from others. Increase your contribution instead of expecting other to do for you. If you decrease your expectation level your disappointment will also be eventually decreased. Totally shorten your expectation then naturally you don’t have to meet disappointment at all. This is the main thing you should follow in order to avoid disappointment.

Above one is one important way to avoid disappointment in your life. Now let us see the other ways how to handle disappointment in relationship in detailed manner

Understand the Reality

Always try to understand and read the reality of the situation . Let us do a casestudy.For example ,let’s say you are planning to surprise your partner by taking her outside for dinner tonight and you are returning by car from Office earlier than usual time. Remember that even you have not informed her about the plan. But when you reached home and found that your partner is not there and gone to visit her friends place without telling you. How do you feel in this situation? Definitely you will feel disappointed and you immediately call her and shout at her and express your anger over phone itself which paves the way for more misunderstandings to grow in your relationship. Here in this Particular situation you should have patience and trust for a while that your spouse will not go anywhere without informing you and that she would have a real good reason to do so. May be there must be any emergency situation for a need for your partner to be present there. No point in waiting anxiously and imagining negative thought till she returns back. Moreover you yourself have not informed her about the dinner outside and how should you expect her to inform you. Today is not the end day and you shall go for dinner tomorrow also. So this example just shows why you should not get disappointed for this simple thing and try to find the reality behind the scene.

Letting your feelings out

If your major life goal is suddenly closed you will definitely get disappointed and you may go in to a mourning stage. In this time, let your emotions out and cry. According to Medical Science, letting your emotion is healthier than suppressing it. Don’t feel ashamed to cry. Go to any private place like your bed room or bath room let your emotion out in the way of tears and cry as much as possible until you feel relaxed. Bring back your mind to the normal stage and come out.

Identify the reason

If something went wrong and you feel disappointed then try to find the root cause for the disappointment. Take a paper and write down what are all the reasons for your failure. Analyze it on all ways and find the fact. Write a note for better improvement. Think what all the possible ways for development are. After finding the failure reason, omit it and never ever do the same mistake next time. Create a better environment and move forward.

Put Continuous Effort

If you get disappointed, don’t get frustrated. Patience and calmness are the two eyes you should see through on that time for handling disappointment.  Induce Positive thinking. Imagine what all the possible ways to handle the situation are. Suppose you have some misunderstanding with your partner and you felt really sorry for that and approach her for apology. But she denies to speak with you .Really your condition will be pathetic, no? Don’t let your hope down. Do something which influences her. Try to do any one activity which she urges you to do generally at the normal time. Do small small help in her kitchen activity. This will make her to let anger out. Keep on trying until she turns to you and show the sign of smile in her face. You should do it in such a way that your softer approach towards her will make her to bring back the normal situation. Everything will be OK then if she is back to normal

Have Perspective look

Suppose your girl friend broke up with you instead of proposing, naturally you feel upset and pain. But realize that you are still bachelor and not married and have the opportunity to date many persons. Always ask yourself “Will this matter one year from now? A month? One week? Anyway you are going to be married shortly, Right? After marriage, the new person will be there to take care you and in the next few months you even better love your wife more than your girl friend. You participated in a competition and not awarded. Will this matter when you come up with pass grade in semester? You are supposed to play in Football finals and you are injured right now which is unfortunate, but you can play next year. Often asking this type of questions in your mind relieve you and help you to come out from the disappointment

Don’t let your mind to fill with small small rubbish things and all. Be clear and have positive approach always .

Utilizing the existing opportunity

Let us consider that you have applied for a famous top rated college in the city and it is your long time dream to study in. It’s a terrible news when you come to know that you didn’t get an admission. But you can still continue the studies and you have the opportunity to go to second choice college. You can even score good marks here and try to have university first degree in this college and join your college of your dreams for a Post graduate study. Always try to utilize the given opportunity and don’t feel and sulk about the unavailable one. Make your mind to accept and embrace the available opportunity.

Same will be the case if you attended an interview very well and expecting a job from a esteemed big organization that didn’t come through. Don’t get disappointed. May be lots and lots of opportunities are waiting outside to fulfill your desire and don’t get tensed for the chance you didn’t get. May be that opens the door to apply for other job that you really don’t expect which one may be really good than the previous company

Learn from Mistake and Accept

For instance, you are received a divorce notice from your partner for a legal break-up. Surely you feel bad for the situation. First, try to explain her and make her feel comfort. Always be true with your partner.  Ask her not to take hasty decisions. Know the reason from her which makes her to issue the notice .Avoid those mistakes and correct yourself. Explain her what happened is happened and Promise her for not doing the same mistake again hereafter and start for the new Happier life.

Comparing with the worst

Be grateful and thankful for what you are having presently. Don’t care about the lost one. You will note that there are lot more good things in your life than bad. Thank God for that. Compare your  disappointment with the real worst affected persons like those who lost their home to fire, lost their lives in flood, lost leg or hand in Accident. If you do this you get a clear picture nothing this bad has ever happened to you.  Now you may feel that you are in a better situation than most others.

Spend time with Family and friends:

Moving out with your Mom or your best buddy will make you feel better and recover from the disappointment you had. Seek her advice. Discuss with someone how they handled the same problem if they have been in similar situation before. Listen to good music. Music will help to heal the wound.

Read some inspirational books and underline the sentence what you like the most. Get inspired on reading. Read optimistic books which inspires you. Take a long walk .

Disappointment is an emotion which occurs when what you want to happen doesn’t happen. Keep that in mind.

Keep hope alive. Keeping hope alive is the success mantra for happier life. Stay optimistic. Keep things positive and all of the good things will happen automatically

How to change your drinking habit and stop negative thoughts

Most people start to develop the habit of drinking alcohol in their teen.Drinking is a habit which starts in their life as a fun thing to do with friends to socialize but on continuous usage it ruins their life completely . These days we come across many people who become addict to this habit and most of them start feeling guilty for not able to overcome this habit. Even celebrities have lost their life and carrier to this bad habit.

By the end of this session, you will definitely have confidence to at least take the initial steps  to overcome this habit.

Change Drinking Habits
Change Drinking Habits

Beginning stage of drinking:Typically a person starts to drink either in parties just for fun or due to the compulsion of friends. Those who don’t give in to friends compulsion to drink or to social pressure are the blessed ones and they are the strong minded people. This article is only for the remaining people  who wants to quit this habit and have tried everything but failed.

Basic step-Have Real faith:If you have decided to quit the drinking habit it means that you have already taken the first step towards a  happier and healthier life. But be cautious the step you have taken should go forward only and in any situation you should not take a backward step. For this, you should have strong faith/ belief in your inner conscious. The not so good news is that getting confidence at initial stage is somewhat hard . But it is 100 % possible if we undergo some continuous training. To get this confidence, everyday while getting up from the bed, you have to tell yourself that I have planned to stop drinking habit and May God give power and ability not to touch alcohol at least for today at any cost. This is simple but very powerful technique to avoid alcohol. By keeping on avoiding on a day by day process at a certain stage you yourself will be surprised that you have been away from that habit for  a long period.

Mindset for quitting:We can see most of the people who have started practicing quitting drinking habit will abandon their resolution at the beginning stage itself due to their incorrect thinking of what their friends will think about them. Don’t let others to decide your life. You live your own life. No one has rights to interfere in your life and it is you who have full ability to shape your life happier. Don’t worry about your friends and  particularly drinking companions who make fun of you. Let them criticize but think that ultimately you are going to benefit truly rather than them .

Doctors Advice:A Moderate drinker shall quit drinking habit even without consulting the doctor. But if you have the following symptoms it is better to consult a doctor for counseling

  • No concentration at work
  • Getting tensed for small small things also
  • Postponing important things to do and instead spending that time in drinking
  • Fast Heart Beat
  • Frequent sweating
  •  Anxiety
  • Unwanted and Frequent quarrel with Friends, Family & with co-workers
  • Less interest for other activities except drinking
  • Not feeling hungry

It is advisable and better to recover with the help of Medical assistance for the described cases.Never think that you are doing this alone, there are plenty of people around you like your spouse, parents, good friends, well wishers and Medical team want to help you.

Quitting Attitude:Don’t plan to hide your quitting idea to others. There is nothing shame on this. You are not going to give up a good friend or cheating others. Instead you yourself shape your own life with good things. You can openly and strongly let the world to know that you are in the liquor quitting process . This open announcement itself changes the thought about you for some good reasons. So be open to others.

A Friend’s Story Indeed:Here I would like to tell about one of my newly married Friend’s story whose life was totally affected by drinking habit and how he overcame after lot of struggles.Unlike others he also used to start that habit occasionally in parties or with friends once in a month or week. Life went smoothly while it was under his control and the problem started whenever he exceeds the limit.

Due to that he used to quarrel daily  with his wife over small things and so there was no opportunity  for them to mutually understand others.

On the other hand at work place, the habit had made him not to reach Office at time, not possible to concentrate at work, not allowing to finish the job on time etc. Further the alcohol smell which came from him made the coworkers feel disgusted and it forced them to complaint about him to management.

So with all these black marks against him the Management decided to take action against him and fire him from service. The pressure about the suspension from duty and this jobless situation gradually paved the way for him to drink more .(since he had plenty of time)

Note: Here I insist that before he was accustomed to drinking habit he was such a nice person, very prompt on his duty , cared for his family and friends, organized & Participated in all social activities and public functions etc.

In the mean time his wife was conceived and it was about time to give birth to the baby.

Not even carrying about her pregnancy his alcoholic addiction made him to continue  his quarrel till delivery. This situation affected both her body and mind and as a result of this she was not able to give birth to the baby and the fetus expired in her womb itself prior to delivery.

After sometime due to the lack of proper understanding he was separated from his wife also legally.

He lost his life, career, reputation, social status, wife and his child.

At this point of time you should think over it about the reason behind all these problems in his life?

Just because of alcohol.

So you should get rid of that enemy from your life which ruins all your pleasure.

Days gone and due to the effort of his well wishers he is alright now and leads the life without alcohol .Am very happy about his recovery and he is very much better than his earlier life and very well settled also.

Returning to the article, lets continue our ways to quit drinking habit

Have Food Often

Whenever you have drinking thought, eat something what you like most. Eating a meal before drinking will eventually reduces the interest of drinking. Avoid hungry feeling. Keep your stomach full filled always. Because if you fulfill your stomach there is no possibility for you to take alcohol.

You can even drink lot of water if you feel the urge to drink.

Change your schedule

If you used to drink regularly at a particular time or particular place means, try to utilize that time in a different activity. For example, imagine you are drinking daily at 7’o clock at night after returning from work home. Instead go to Church, park , read books, have good conversation with friends .You yourself try to deviate from that mood. This will help you to decrease the chance of drinking

Similarly if you are tensed to drink if you cross over a particular place like where wine shop is located, avoid going over there. Instead you can change your direction and take diversion and take some other alternative way to reach your place.

By doing like this, you can reduce the chances for drinking significantly

Avoid ‘Glass mates’

If you started to follow alcohol quit process, first I insist you to not to stay in touch with your drinking friends. Stay away from them. Most of them will even comment and will force you to take alcohol. Keep in mind and no cost you should not get back from your step and be confident

 

Here to raise confident level, am providing you the idea of practicing meditation. Meditation is the best way to keep yourself calm and to have positive energy. It will help you to develop good thought and good feelings in you. You should hear about the Saints and Sithars in India who got so many powers through Meditation which even you will not imagine. That much power Meditation will give to you

Support Team

Nowadays so many institutions and welfare organization are available to give their support hand for the needy who are willing to avoid the monster named alcohol.

Seek the help of Alcohol Anonymous (AA) an organization for the prosperity of liquor addicts which spread all over the world. They will help your speedy recovery from this habit

Many Alcohol de-addiction centers are there now ready to do service for drink addicts to restrain.

You should remind yourself that if you were willing to try quitting so many times in the past, you have the ability to try again. Please remember this. There is no age limit nor is it ever too late to try to quit drinking. Even if the last thing that you do is quit, the victory of quitting pays for itself and gives hope to other people. Above anything,First your health will be in sound condition. Your name in the society turns good and the social respect you re going to earn is marvelous

Think of something that Inspires you and motivates you.

Believe you can do it

Everything is possible for you and every power is within you

God is always with you so nothing can stop you

I hope you are now very much confident to quit alcohol.My final advice is once you stop the thoughts about drinking you will stop the drinking habit,so develop positive thoughts in your mind and you will succeed quitting the habit and in your life.

Read more mindset changes required to change your drinking habits below

How to Change your drinking habit – Part Two

 

Sleight of the Mouth examples-Conversation Tactics

In our daily lives…everyone of us  would  be put in situations where  a bossy Coworker or a nosy person is trying to dominate us in a conversation. In such situations we  may go blank …wondering whether to respond to them  or to move on  without confronting their statements.

The Problem with just ignoring these kind of people without confronting them by giving them a fitting reply is….They will come back at you stronger and stronger and start dominating you more and more. The only way to stop them is by giving them a fitting reply, that will make them wonder what hit them. When you have that kind of skill you will be confident in all social situations, knowing very well that you can handle any verbal challenge.

What is Sleight of Mouth?

Sleight of Mouth is a persuasion skill, a vehicle for the re-framing of beliefs. It is a system of 14 different patterns of response to a stated belief or statement. A system that, once mastered, can allow you to always have a response that will effectively elucidate your position and help you to persuade rather than be persuaded. Simply put, it will help you win any argument, be verbally powerful and powerfully verbal.

We all enjoy the nice come back punch dialogue that the hero delivers to the insulting villain’s remark.What if we can deliver that kind of Come back lines in our real life? The Sleight of Mouth Patterns will let you do that exactly!

What Will Sleight of Mouth Do For you?

Part of the power of Sleight of Mouth is that it gives you more choices and flexibility of possible responses. You will never be at a loss for something to say. And with 14 different possible responses, odds are good that what you say will stop your adversary right in his tracks.

How to use the ‘Sleight of Mouth’ Patterns:

The real challenge or Fun of learning the slight of Mouth patterns is to come up with your own examples that you can apply in your own life situations.In real life there are millions of things a person can say to you and we cannot cover the response for each and every insulting remark.But what we can do is give a example situation and statement and the fourteen types of comeback Responses you can give for that statement. You are expected to use the example as a model and come up with your Responses to use in your real life.

So Following is the situation:

You have arrived a little late to office and your boss didn’t seem to mind it. But the nosy coworker who has got no business to monitor you says something insulting like…

“You’re being late and it shows you don’t care about the job.”

There are 14 different responses you can come up with in this scenario:

  1. Reality strategy:

The Reality strategy Challenges the belief, based on the fact that beliefs arise from certain assumptions. Probe how they know that their belief is true and how they came to the conclusion.

The following are some of the responses you can come up using the Reality strategy pattern:

How do you know lateness and caring are the same thing?

I’m not sure how it is you have drawn that conclusion. Maybe the boss told that to you when you came late yesterday… How would you know if it wasn’t true?

What we are doing here is…instead of going blank or getting angry we asked them back a question…..and now they are the one going deep inside to find the answer to what we asked.

  1. Model of the world:

Model of the World,argues that the other person is making a assertion as a metaphor for something else.

Some people believe caring is shown by quality of the job done and the results obtained.

  1. Counter example:

Counter example uses exceptions where their statement would not be True- which weakens  the belief of the original statement.

We all know people who are always on time and yet are goof-offs once they get here.

  1. Intent:

This pattern highlights the original intent.

My intention is not to be late or uncaring but to give the company the best quality time and highest productivity while I’m here.

  1. Redefine:

Redefine the problem.

I wasn’t late, I was delayed in traffic.

The issue is not my being late but how much work I can accomplish today before the end of the day.

  1. Chunking up:

Chunking up is generalizing the whole thing to challenge the belief of the other person.

Are you saying the most important aspect of my job is showing up on time?

  1. Chunking down:

Chunking down breaks down the statement of the other person to smaller elements, then pick up any particular element and start attacking it.

How specifically are lateness and not caring the same thing?

  1. Metaphor or analogy:

Instead of replying to the question use a metaphor or analogy to challenge the belief and make a comeback statement.

If a surgeon is late for dinner because he is saving a life, does that mean he doesn’t care about his wife’s cooking?

  1. Another outcome:

Another outcome offers a alternate which challenges the statement of the other person. Switch the other’s attention from their original outcome to another.

The real question isn’t whether I’m late or I’m caring. The real question is how much I’m producing for the company.

  1. Consequence:

Consequence challenges the statement of the other person by highlighting a consequence of what would happen if the other person’s belief is followed.

If I wasn’t late I wouldn’t have been able to close the sale while I was at a breakfast meeting.

  1. Hierarchy of Criteria:

Challenge the belief based on more important criteria ,suggesting something more important is there to consider

Isn’t it more important to focus on how much the person gives while on the job rather than punctuality?

  1. Apply to self:

Apply to self,turns their belief/statement back on them-either by implying that the consequences they suggest to be  applicable to you is actually also applicable to them.

If you are concerned about the company you would not have told me this late.

I will like to give another example for this pattern. In a heated argument you say somethings and the other person says…

Other Person: Saying mean things means you are a bad person.

You:   It is too bad you said that.It’s a mean thing to say to a collegue.

  1. Changing frame size:

This pattern extends the implication of the belief to a larger(or smaller)scale,or to a longer(or shorter) time frame.

Over time, you’ll see I brought in more business in a timely fashion for the company than all of the people who showed up to work on time.

  1. Meta frame:

Meta frame challenges the basis behind the belief/statement instead of challenging the statement.

Lots of progressive companies are working with flex time for their high producers. I thought you were a forward thinking person.

Now imagine the power of having ALL these patterns at your fingertips for every single objection you are likely to encounter in every single situation.

You may understand some of the sleight of mouth patterns…find some helpful and usable….don’t have a clue about some of the other patterns…But,That’s okay. You don’t need all of them. If you can pick up just one or Two sleight of the mouth patterns and apply it in your real life, that’s all you need. Because,Some of the smart mouths in the real world just use one or two of the patterns.

Good Luck Practicing the Sleight of mouth patterns in the real world out there.

Conversational hypnosis language patterns -Practical Examples for use in real Life

What Is Hypnosis?

To know about hypnosis you have to first learn what a ‘Trance’ is.

People drop into trance many times everyday, Whenever they are pulled into a riveting novel, when they become enthralled while watching a movie, etc. You have likely had an experience when you are driving home from work in your car, and as you enter your home and sink in to your favorite couch, you realize that you don’t recall driving the last five miles.
Your unconscious handled the driving while you were thinking about something else. All these are examples of different forms of trance.

Hypnosis is artificially inducing a trance state in the listener so that they will listen and follow your suggestions more readily.(Since you are bypassing their Consious mind which may be resisting your suggestions)
Process to do hypnosis/Steps in hypnosis

– Attention:Absorb your subject’s attention; focus their attention. You need to pull it and draw it in to the hypnotic.

– Bypass the Critical Factor (and Bypass the regular conscious mindsets)
Bypass the little voice inside their head that says’Oh that won’t work”
Bypass habitual patterns to allow new patterns to be installed

– Stimulate the Unconscious Mind
Recruit their unconscious mind to perform actual change work.
Change work can be anything you wanted the other person to experience.You can make them feel great by saying good things or feel depressed by saying not so good things.

So what is conversation hypnosis and How this conversation hypnosis work?

My personal expectation from conversation hypnosis is….The ability to change the Mental State of the listener through the course of a conversation.I may be wrong.It may be just a subset of what i can really do with conversation hypnosis…it may be just the tip of the iceberg…or just the cherry on Top of the cake….But all i want from learning Conversation Hypnosis is the ability to
change the Mental State of the listener by just talking to them.

Lets face the following cases:-

a.You are going in to the Boss cabin for asking a raise or for a salary appraisal but he is in a bad mood.May be he had a fight with his wife before comming to office that day.

What if you can talk with him normally and can get him in to a lighter mood first?
Say something that will raise the Probability of getting a higher salary multiple times right?

Here is another Real life scenario…

b.Your wife is shopping.She is so excited and is about to buy things that are a luxury for your current economic state of your family.

What if you can bring her excitement down to a couple of notches towards reality,by talking with her,so that she realises that the stuff she was about to buy was not a necessity.And it was all her idea.

How much money did you just save with your conversation skills?

Conversation hypnosis in Movies:

My favorite example of conversation hypnosis in a movie is Below.It is from a Brad Pitt Movie called ‘Money Ball’.Brad Pit is a Baseball Team GM .He is disappointed with the little amount of money allocated by Scott the owner of the Team for him to spend on his Team to make it win.He enters Scott’s office and complains that bigger Teams spend 80 Millions for their Teams success and how he is expected to compete and make his team win with a few millions.

The following is the modified script of what the Boss-The owner of the team says to Brad Pitt.

SCOTT Says….
We’re a small market team. You’re a small market GM. And I’m asking you to be okay with not spending money I don’t have. And
I’m asking you to take a breath and sit back and relax. And then I’m asking you to get back in a room with your people and
figure out how you’re going to do the task with the money I do have.

And as he says that you can see Brad Pitt taking a deep Breath and leans back and his mood lightens up.That’s an example of the Use of conversational hypnosis.

Golden Nugget #1:
When someone comes to you with a problem, it only means they have forgotten where the right resource is which will help them solve the problem. When you find the resources they need and attach them to the problem, the problem vanishes. Approximately 85% of the time, this process will make the problem easily dissolve and go away.

 

How to build courage and confidence in your real life

Courage is something that everyone needs in their life to make like easy. It was considered as one of the most important virtue a Man has to posses. Most of the people in the world may have education, wealth, beauty etc.. but people with great Courage and confidence are the only ones that get a place in History. Those who are brave and Bold and courageous alone have the power to bring the masses under their influence.

If you have a glance of the World History only the name of the courageous men withstand their fame, for their Brave actions, for a long time. Hercules, Napoleon, Alexander etc.. are just a few names of courageous men who changed the flow of history.

courageous-people_with_confidence
courageous-people_with_confidence

What is Courage?

Courage is nothing but a state of mind devoid of fear and it can be achieved with the help of Positive thought. An Indian Saint Swami Vivekananda once told “You are what you think”, our inner conscious decides how to frame our life. Our thoughts have that much power to design the life of a person. If you think Good, Good things will happen in your life. If you think Bad, the same will reflect. So we should be very careful in developing our thought since our thought becomes our speech, our speech becomes our action, our action becomes character. So if we have brave thoughts, you will become courageous and confident.

For example, if you have the self image that you are strong and energetic, you will definitely be considered strong and courageous by the outer world. By contrary, if you think you are weak in a negative way, the result will be as our thinking.

Courage is nothing but overcoming fear with positive mind set.

Fear

Fear is the basic human emotion or behavior which we tend to get from Mind through our Nervous system. It a natural phenomenon and it is possible for us to avoid easily if we follow some certain set of rules/practices

Types of Fear

There are so many types of fear in this world and following is the some of them which we commonly used to see around us

if we are going to do new a new thing which was not done earlier, automatically we get afraid about that. This is the fear of new things.

We would have seen in our work place, normally most of the person get tensed or afraid to speak with their Boss or Superior

This is one type of fear i.e Fear of Superiors

In some peculiar cases, some Men hesitate to speak with Girls or women without any concrete reason.(Some Women also react the same towards men )

This is the fear of Opposite Sex

Like this, there are many fears(Phobia) in this world to overcome

Identifying Fears:

First of all, we should identify and label our inner fears.It is the first and most important step to nail your fear and become courageous.

List out the Fear:

To identify this, we have to carefully watch our own thought from the beginning of the day and should take a note for what are all the things suddenly we are afraid of.

List it down and find yourself by raising a question that whether a valid reason is available to get nervous or being afraid of.

Expose yourself to your worst fears:

The best way to overcome fear is to experience the fear by doing that thing what we were afraid of. This itself will make us stronger and bold.

Acting on the thing without delay:

If you are afraid of Boss means, Go and speak with Boss without any further delay/hesitation. The moment you complete the conversation with your Boss, you will definitely get a courage of overcoming the thing what you have earlier considered as Fear

Continuous and uninterrupted thinking

If you want to achieve a great thing then our whole mind and soul have to think about that again and again imagining that our target has been achieved successfully.

Thinking again and again about a thing in a smooth way will surely give us positive result. This is one of the ways to be courageous

Visualize

If you are participating in a Karate competition and you feel that there are many participants are more powerful than you then Imagine that you are beating and kicking your opponent hardly irrespective of how strong he/she may be (or) imagine getting Championship cup from Referee after winning the final tournament.Visualizing something like this will not do you any harm it will make you feel better and give you a better chance to succeed.This type of positive Visualization in your mind will bring you more energy and power and you will see miracles happen in your life.

Developing Confidence:

Confidence and courage is like two side of a coin. If one side is not present, obviously the coin becomes invalid .So don’t let your confidence down at any moment

The More you are Confident, the More you will succeed

If you are truly not confident means, at least try to pretend that you are confident

Meditation

Meditation is the process of controlling mind in the right path. Controlling mind requires practice and it should be done in a calm place. At the starting stage of Meditation there should not be any distraction in this process so you should choose a place which fulfills the requirement. After practicing for some time you would be able to meditate wherever you are. Closing your eyes and breathing deeply as well as slowly is the main strategy for a good meditation. While meditating we should bring in the thought for what you are afraid of and to enhance or chat yourself that you have overcome that fear and it is nothing to be afraid of anymore. Sometimes during meditation definitely negative thoughts may arise and try to conquer your mind. But we should carefully watch our thought and should concentrate on the good and positive things only.

Eyes looking down to the right.What this body Language mean?

Let’s say you are talking to your date and you are describing your first kiss experience and you notice that your partner’s eyes are looking down to their right hand side.Freeze…What does this body language Mean?

Eyes looking down to right
Eyes looking down to right

If a person is Looking down to their right their body language indicates that they are attending to their internal emotions.They are just feeling the emotions that they once experienced or the feelings they are experiencing at the moment.
So in our scenario your date maybe focusing on how her body is turned on by your narration of your intimate experience.Or She is focusing on her feelings,her own first kiss experience and how it made her feel.In short she is attending to her internal emotions.

If you ask someone to “Do you remember how cold it was there when we went there last year? “, and if their eyes  look down to the right then they have probably  recalled the chillness and are experiencing those feelings again.

There is a subtle difference in meaning between a ‘person looking down to their Right’ and a ‘person  looking down and to the Right’ and it’s very important to know it.Let me illustrate both cases with the help of examples.

‘looking down to their Right’:You are in a conversation with someone and you notice that the Person to whom you are talking to is ‘looking down to their Right’.If you were talking to them about the severe headache you had the previous day then there is a good chance that your friend is feeling his or her own headache pain they had last time.

‘looking down and to the Right’:

You are looking at someone and they just made eye contact with you, but just for a second,immediately they started looking down and to the Right or even left-If i exaggerate a little bit it is like they are looking down at the floor and sweeping their eyes to their Right or left.Okay,now that you know the difference between the two cases you may be curious in knowing what it implies when someone you look at is looking down and to the right.Well it is very subtle to tell for sure because the context of the social situation plays a big hand on what the body language implies but allow me to throw my 2 cents.

In a dating situation looking down and to the Right or left after holding eye contact for a couple of seconds is a good sign that the target is attracted to you and is evaluating the feelings she or he has for you.It is a lot better than someone looking at you for a few second and directly looks at their right or left without lowering their eyes down or looking down-Which is a surefire sign that they are not interested in you and just want to move away from the situation.But if they look back at you again a few seconds later it may mean that they looked away as a knee jerk reaction and now they want to make eye contact with you again if you are still interested in doing so.

When we talk to a person what is the most notable thing you see?Their Eyes,Right?
What if you can guess what a person is going through in their mind by just looking at their eyes.There are plenty of advantages if you are going to develop this skill and you will become better and better at reading a person and adjusting your response accordingly.
Don’t worry that you are going to come up as a weirdo for looking in to their eyes,you are just going to appear as a confident and curious Person.

 

Are you Self conscious -Overcoming Self Consciousness is the first step to become Confident

Let’s start from analysing what self consciousness is and end with practical real life techniques that will help you to overcome Self Consciousness and gain self confidence.In between we are going to cover a lot of examples of self consciousness in different social situations and self evaluate the degree of your self consciousness also but i promise you that this is not going to be a boring ride.

What is Self Consciousness?

Following is the simple definition of Self Consciousness that i can relate to…

Self-consciousness is an acute sense of self-awareness. It is a preoccupation with oneself, as opposed to the philosophical state of self-awareness, which is the awareness that one exists as an individual being. An unpleasant feeling of self-consciousness may occur when one realizes that one is being watched or observed, the feeling that “everyone is looking” at oneself. Some people are habitually more self-conscious than others. Unpleasant feelings of self-consciousness are sometimes associated with shyness or paranoia. –Wikipedia

If the definition doesn’t make much sense let me explain with my favourite metaphor which i personally came up with in my quest of overcoming my own self consciousness .

In real world we have to use our senses-eyes,ears etc.. to listen and see the people around us to respond and react to others perfectly.Let’s crudely call it consciousness.

Imagine all people are fitted with a helmet with a  Smartphone attached hanging in front that is big enough to hide your whole face blocking their vision.Now the only way to see the outer world is to use the smartphone’s front camera and watch the phone’s screen to  interact with the people around you.We can still go around and interact with the People,Right?

Let say for some People their smartphone are in the Front camera mode automatically and they can see only themselves.They start seeing their own faces and facial expressions every time they interact socially with other people.Every time this happens they start to fumble around with their interactions with other people.They see their own frightened faces and get more nervous and this vicious cycle continues till they become worse and stop avoiding interacting with the outer world.Let’s Crudely call this as self consciousness.

Now all that is needed to be done,to make them normal,is to change their camera to back camera mode.Once you understand the Problem the solution is so simple. Right?

So why don’t you just change your mode and start focusing outwards on people during social interactions instead of focusing inwards on yourself.

Now don’t get me wrong.I know self consciousness is not a disease and you won’t believe if i say i might get hate mails from self conscious crusaders who send hate mails.They just don’t want to change and like melancholy and self pity and nobody can understand them better than me because i was one of them.As they say in nlp, everything has a good intention.But Everything has a time and Place and social situations are not the best time to go inside your mind and do a self analysis.

Let us now see why self consciousness is a problem which you should be trying to come out of by some case studies.Rita is a shy Girl in the class and she is self conscious.Guys and Girls in her class like to make fun of her and like to watch her go nervous.When ever someone cracks a joke at her expense instead of giving a fitting reply she wonders what other people are thinking about her and feel shame.If she focuses her attention on delivering a comeback line or at least a assertive answer others will be thinking twice before teasing her again.

The Problem with being self conscious is it will eventually develop in to negative self talk.It’s when something inside you talks back to you…saying things like ‘you cannot do it’,or ‘you look fat’ or what ever you are self conscious about.The more you listen to your negative self talk the worse it will get and sooner rather than later you will have depression.At this stage the only way to come out of the mess is to catch yourself having the negative self talk and stop it.There are effective Techniques to stop negative self talk but that is a different subject altogether,for this scope of this article it suffices to know that self consciousness can lead to further personality complications if you don’t do something about it.