Why do we feel Disappointment in a relationship?
Disappointment is a thing which all of us don’t want to experience in our life somehow or other. What is Disappointment? It is just a feeling when you expect something and it doesn’t materialize the way you expected it to be. If you get Disappointment that means you are expecting something from others. Here I would like to explain the fact that the reason behind the disappointment is nothing but Expectation. So expect less from others. Increase your contribution instead of expecting other to do for you. If you decrease your expectation level your disappointment will also be eventually decreased. Totally shorten your expectation then naturally you don’t have to meet disappointment at all. This is the main thing you should follow in order to avoid disappointment.
Above one is one important way to avoid disappointment in your life. Now let us see the other ways how to handle disappointment in relationship in detailed manner
Understand the Reality
Always try to understand and read the reality of the situation . Let us do a casestudy.For example ,let’s say you are planning to surprise your partner by taking her outside for dinner tonight and you are returning by car from Office earlier than usual time. Remember that even you have not informed her about the plan. But when you reached home and found that your partner is not there and gone to visit her friends place without telling you. How do you feel in this situation? Definitely you will feel disappointed and you immediately call her and shout at her and express your anger over phone itself which paves the way for more misunderstandings to grow in your relationship. Here in this Particular situation you should have patience and trust for a while that your spouse will not go anywhere without informing you and that she would have a real good reason to do so. May be there must be any emergency situation for a need for your partner to be present there. No point in waiting anxiously and imagining negative thought till she returns back. Moreover you yourself have not informed her about the dinner outside and how should you expect her to inform you. Today is not the end day and you shall go for dinner tomorrow also. So this example just shows why you should not get disappointed for this simple thing and try to find the reality behind the scene.
Letting your feelings out
If your major life goal is suddenly closed you will definitely get disappointed and you may go in to a mourning stage. In this time, let your emotions out and cry. According to Medical Science, letting your emotion is healthier than suppressing it. Don’t feel ashamed to cry. Go to any private place like your bed room or bath room let your emotion out in the way of tears and cry as much as possible until you feel relaxed. Bring back your mind to the normal stage and come out.
Identify the reason
If something went wrong and you feel disappointed then try to find the root cause for the disappointment. Take a paper and write down what are all the reasons for your failure. Analyze it on all ways and find the fact. Write a note for better improvement. Think what all the possible ways for development are. After finding the failure reason, omit it and never ever do the same mistake next time. Create a better environment and move forward.
Put Continuous Effort
If you get disappointed, don’t get frustrated. Patience and calmness are the two eyes you should see through on that time for handling disappointment. Induce Positive thinking. Imagine what all the possible ways to handle the situation are. Suppose you have some misunderstanding with your partner and you felt really sorry for that and approach her for apology. But she denies to speak with you .Really your condition will be pathetic, no? Don’t let your hope down. Do something which influences her. Try to do any one activity which she urges you to do generally at the normal time. Do small small help in her kitchen activity. This will make her to let anger out. Keep on trying until she turns to you and show the sign of smile in her face. You should do it in such a way that your softer approach towards her will make her to bring back the normal situation. Everything will be OK then if she is back to normal
Have Perspective look
Suppose your girl friend broke up with you instead of proposing, naturally you feel upset and pain. But realize that you are still bachelor and not married and have the opportunity to date many persons. Always ask yourself “Will this matter one year from now? A month? One week? Anyway you are going to be married shortly, Right? After marriage, the new person will be there to take care you and in the next few months you even better love your wife more than your girl friend. You participated in a competition and not awarded. Will this matter when you come up with pass grade in semester? You are supposed to play in Football finals and you are injured right now which is unfortunate, but you can play next year. Often asking this type of questions in your mind relieve you and help you to come out from the disappointment
Don’t let your mind to fill with small small rubbish things and all. Be clear and have positive approach always .
Utilizing the existing opportunity
Let us consider that you have applied for a famous top rated college in the city and it is your long time dream to study in. It’s a terrible news when you come to know that you didn’t get an admission. But you can still continue the studies and you have the opportunity to go to second choice college. You can even score good marks here and try to have university first degree in this college and join your college of your dreams for a Post graduate study. Always try to utilize the given opportunity and don’t feel and sulk about the unavailable one. Make your mind to accept and embrace the available opportunity.
Same will be the case if you attended an interview very well and expecting a job from a esteemed big organization that didn’t come through. Don’t get disappointed. May be lots and lots of opportunities are waiting outside to fulfill your desire and don’t get tensed for the chance you didn’t get. May be that opens the door to apply for other job that you really don’t expect which one may be really good than the previous company
Learn from Mistake and Accept
For instance, you are received a divorce notice from your partner for a legal break-up. Surely you feel bad for the situation. First, try to explain her and make her feel comfort. Always be true with your partner. Ask her not to take hasty decisions. Know the reason from her which makes her to issue the notice .Avoid those mistakes and correct yourself. Explain her what happened is happened and Promise her for not doing the same mistake again hereafter and start for the new Happier life.
Comparing with the worst
Be grateful and thankful for what you are having presently. Don’t care about the lost one. You will note that there are lot more good things in your life than bad. Thank God for that. Compare your disappointment with the real worst affected persons like those who lost their home to fire, lost their lives in flood, lost leg or hand in Accident. If you do this you get a clear picture nothing this bad has ever happened to you. Now you may feel that you are in a better situation than most others.
Spend time with Family and friends:
Moving out with your Mom or your best buddy will make you feel better and recover from the disappointment you had. Seek her advice. Discuss with someone how they handled the same problem if they have been in similar situation before. Listen to good music. Music will help to heal the wound.
Read some inspirational books and underline the sentence what you like the most. Get inspired on reading. Read optimistic books which inspires you. Take a long walk .
Disappointment is an emotion which occurs when what you want to happen doesn’t happen. Keep that in mind.
Keep hope alive. Keeping hope alive is the success mantra for happier life. Stay optimistic. Keep things positive and all of the good things will happen automatically