How to flirt and make someone approach and talk to you first without you talking to them

If you are wondering whether it is possible to make someone talk to you without you first initiating a conversation with them …You have come to the right place and i have a lot to talk about it.Yes,it is not only possible but also beneficial since it saves you a lot of effort in getting them interested in you later on after getting them to initiate a conversation with you and talk to you.Since,they initiated the talk you can drive the conversation in any direction you want to.Also it means that they already consider you desirable or at least a likable Person and you don’t have to try hard to impress them.But all these only if you succeed in making them talk to you…Right?

I know it is much easier to get someone talk back to you if you initiate the conversation with them but in that case you have taken the responsibility of leading the conversation and entertaining them.Indirectly you have let them qualify whether you are good enough for them instead of making them wonder whether they are good enough for you.

There can be thousand reasons for why you don’t want to first talk to them .Anything from shyness to not wanting to be seen as a flirt,but whatever it is you will succeed in making him/her approach you and talk to you if you follow what is told here.

So let’s get down to the basics first without further fluff talk

1.Install the Attitude/Mindset

Say this to yourself until you convince yourself without any doubts.”I am irresistible and no one but me can make people feel the way i can make them feel.They deserve me if they talk to me and keep me interested”

If you have low self esteem or if you are too shy you make first find it funny to say this affirmation but trust me this first step cannot be overstepped and you will start to believe the fact that you deserve to be approached by the members of opposite sex or people in general  eventually.If you don’t want to do this first step you have only two other options.

a.Grow some courage and learn to approach and talk to people you are interested in.  (OR)

b.Go and Play video Games.

2.Master the soul grabbing Smile:

If you are still reading i assume you have either agreed with me that the first step of Installing the ‘I am irresistible’ mindset is mandatory for your success in getting people come and talk to you or you are just reading this post for entertainment.Either way ‘Entertain Yourself’.

So how to get that smile that grabs souls?Have you watched anyone smile and suddenly they appeared more beautiful and sexy than ever before? Smile is a universal gesture to make you appear more Friendly and approachable.The Trick is to learn to smile with your eyes.Stand in front of the mirror and practice giving your best attractive smile but just concentrate on your eyes and see it smile too.

 

 

 

Good Responses and Comebacks for Leave us alone or Go away or get lost

Fear of Rejection is the greatest fear preventing may men and women from being more social and outgoing.In fact it is the single most thing that drives early teenagers to grow up as shy adults.Imagine how it would feel like when such a person tries to crawl out of their shell by approaching a group or a person and gets greeted by ‘Leave me alone’ or ‘Go away!’ .When a person takes such rude and nasty remarks to heart it will wreck their social confidence.

Comeback to leave-me-alone
Comeback to leave-me-alone

So when you approach someone with good intentions of joining them or their group in a conversation or a game but instead get the door slammed in your face with the typical rude ‘Leave me alone!’ or ‘Go away!’ or the more cruel ‘Get Lost’ responses….Then,Trust me,You need a comeback just to save your face and keep your ego intact.

Here are a list of Good Responses and Comebacks for Leave us alone or Go away or get lost

1) Are you like this with everybody, or just with people cooler than you?
2) Tell your friend that she has a white thinghy sticking out of her nose.

(This has to be said to the friend of the person who told you to get lost.
3) Now I understand now why you are lonely(without friends) in the party.

(When someone asks you to ‘Leave me alone’)
4) You guys are Mean.

5)Okay…ok.I understand that you are having a bad day.

6)Oh sorry…I never thought that you guys were in the middle of a date.

(Means multiple things.Best to be used when Two guys or two girls were asking you to leave them alone)

Finally a few parting points.Your comeback or response need not be mean it should just make you feel better after saying it without inviting trouble.If you can keep your ego unhurt after hearing a ‘Get lost’ or ‘Go away’ without a need to say a comeback or response then it is the ultimate thing,But till then hope these comebacks will help you do the job.

Writers Block cure-Just one Japanese Technique to overcome your writers Block

Last time when i was struggling with writer’s block i searched internet for some techniques to overcome it and many of results were like…’101 ways to overcome your writers block’. After reading through thousands of those tips that was useless i almost developed ‘Reader’s block’ and stopped looking for effective ways to start writing again.

Technique to overcome writers block
Technique to overcome writers block

One day while aimlessly watching youtube videos i came across this uncut Gem of a Technique that worked like a magic to crush my writing blocks and helped me to write again like before.Actually the Techniques was titled as ‘Japanese technique to get rid of your laziness’. Even before reading the technique my first thoughts were that i could use it to overcome my writers block problem since it is also a type of procrastination. And when i read the full technique it made full sense to me and it just reinforced my belief.

Let me first explain you about the Japanese Technique or the ‘Keizen’ technique as they call it and then will tell you how to apply it for crushing your writers block.

Kaizen, also known as continuous improvement, is a long-term approach to work that systematically seeks to achieve small, incremental changes in processes in order to improve efficiency and quality.Sounds complicated Right? Okay check out the simplified version of this Technique.When you are making a new change in you life we tend to procrastinate doing the needed work to the next day and finally it will get accumulated and most people will quit eventually.The change you set out to achieve can be any thing like working out to get fitter and in shape or Improving your life style but the basic technique is the same.Everyday just do the work needed to achieve your goal for just one minute a day.You can work as many hours you may want to but don’t let a day go without doing the task for at least one minute a day.That’s all to it to the simplified version of the Kaizen Technique.

Seems very simple right? But there are a lot of complicated psychological reasons for it’s effectiveness in helping someone achieving their Goal.

So how do i translate this technique to cure Writers block?

Writers_Block_Cure
Writers_Block_Cure

 

Conversational Hypnosis Techniques with Practical examples in Real Life

  • You take it in silently when your nosy Coworker tries to dominate you and acts as if he is your Boss. You convince yourself that staying silent is the wise thing to do in that situation.
  • You wonder why random Strangers you meet outdoors in Streets,supermarkets and malls etc.. Stare at you ,intrude in to your personal space,cut before you in queues ,or just act rude around you …
  • You feel you are invisible to others in social situations and during conversations people focus on talking with those accompanying you but they completely ignore you and you end up feeling self conscious about what you are doing there and you start to plan how to get out of there.
  • You are anxious about meeting new People or having conversations with People.You think people will judge you.You run out of things to say and end up in awkward silences.You think your communication skill sucks.

Yet..you have always wanted to…

  • Have the subtle language skills to make that Coworker leave you alone and make him run with his tail between his legs.
  • Get Respect and friendly vibes from People that you meet in public places.Make Bartenders, receptionists,waiters and other Clerical people treat you like a VIP while leaving others to wait till they finish giving you their undivided attention.
  • Make the opposite sex want to approach you and start conversations with you.
  • And when you finally talk back to them, you can make them laugh and let them feel what you want them to feel, and lead them in to a deep trance by giving them the experience of their lifetime… all in the course of a normal conversation.
  • And many more…
Conversational Hypnosis Techniques
Conversational Hypnosis Techniques

You may have personally known or seen someone who can instantly befriend anyone and talk their way in to and out of any situation you can imagine.They are the naturals and they have developed their people skills over a period of their lifetime watching and learning from successful and influential people they are growing around with.And then there are People like me,The Testers,who are not genetically blessed with influential parents and had to learn everything from scratch from self Help stuff. It requires a lot of time and money to test and find out which techniques work  in the real world and which ones don’t.

Problem is most Self Help methods that actually work in real life come with a very high price tag in the form of  boot-camps and Private seminars organized for rich clients like Businessmen and corporate executives .And even in these courses they add a lot of useless advice and techniques that will distract you.

Technically what separates ‘What you are now’ from ‘The Person you want to become’ is just the knowledge of a handful of skills and techniques and a series of steps you need to take.And some Time.

Get access to my Personal Notes i wrote in my Journey to as i transformed myself  from a shy teen to someone with the forbidden People skills. Some of these are derived from Underground Seminars on Dating ,Psychology,NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and Conversational Hypnosis that are meant for the elite few.These are shared by me and some of our members/Moderators who had the Time and money and passion to spend on these seminars.

What if you get to access to the techniques and experiences of People who are trying to attain similar goals like yours? How fun it would be to Interact and learn from them and put those techniques in your real life and make it work for you?

What if you have a Personal coach who would initiate you in just the needed People skills that you need to know to achieve your Goal?

The Good news is you can acquire the knowledge you need to develop the People skills you want from the courses and guides in the internet.Some are Free and some are paid Products.But the issue is there are a lot of useless advice and techniques floating around that will distract you and waste years of your time and money before you finally find your way to your Goal.

It took us seven years.We were a group of people each with a different goal towards self Development.Some had the money to spend to Attend Underground Seminars on Dating ,Psychology,NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and Conversational Hypnosis that are meant for the elite few and they shared their knowledge with us.Some contributed by putting the knowledge in to practice in the real world and sharing field reports with us.We functioned like a well oiled machinery but still it took seven years because there is so much myths and useless junk floating around before you can lay your hands on that ‘Golden nugget’ of information that really works in the Real world out there.

Every columbus doesn’t have to discover america.We give you the map.

NLP Instant Rapport Techniques

This is my Personal method or Trick or Technique to to Build Instant Rapport with Anyone
I presume that… like me you would also want to cut the fluff talk and dive in straight to the meat of the Techniques while you are learning this new skill. I was not that lucky because I had to wade through a lot of junk methods that wasted my time and energy before finding a few Gems that I could practically use in my Real life effectively and benefit from it. Good News is you will have the Knowledge delivered in a silver plate. My only concern is People sometimes tend to take the worth of things lightly if they get access to stuff easily but my only option is to believe that you are wiser to know that.

Instant Rapport Techniques
Instant Rapport Techniques

Firstly I want to tell you how I accidentally discovered this working technique about how to Build Instant Rapport with Anyone from a old Persuasion and Influence course. During my teen years I had speech related problems and by the time I crossed my teenage I became a extremely introverted shy young man. I overcame my speech impediment in my early Twenties and I was able to talk normally to people. Yet I could not come out of my shyness. When I go out I felt that I was socially invisible(Many times I would ask somebody something and they would completely ignore me ) and that is when I started to learn a lot of Self Help stuff, mostly Persuasion and Influence related stuff. I came across this old Recording of a Seminar where they claimed that they have a covert Technique that can help anyone develop a instant Rapport. I knew that I have to take this Method seriously and put it to test in my Real life and make it work simply because they talked about this one technique in the whole video.

Before we dig in deeper I want you to touch base on the basic Principles of this technique. It would be good if you agree with the following fundamental statements.
People like people who are like them.
Sounds so plain and True Right? Ok. If you agree with that statement the next step is to make anyone think that you are very much like them. That too we have to insert that idea in to their head in a couple of seconds we have while meeting them in a real life scenario. But HOW TO DO THAT?
I have took that idea from that seminar and add a few more working gems I already know and then Tested it and Tuned it and Optimized it and used and abused it …So much that I unconsciously use it every time I meet someone to make them unconsciously like me. Remember-I am not doing anything unethical or fancy…I just let them know that I am so much human like them.
Listen to everything I say from here on as they are the actual method. Take your Time to understand and digest it.If you don’t understand anything just ask me and I will do whatever I can do to drill the method in to your mind.
The following is a Real life scenario where we are going to Apply this Technique to make anyone Like us Instantly

1. When you meet some one… what is the first Thing we do?
When meeting someone…At what exact moment do we actually meet?
Answer: You look at the Person and the Person looks at you. That is when we humanly make our First step in meeting someone. You lock Eye contact. This stage may last only 1-4 seconds.

2. So we make a Eye contact with a Person (There are a dozen Eye contact Techniques to achieve different outcomes but we are not going to look in to any of them now except the one below.)
Eye contact is the first step or the first leap you take in to the Elevator for communicating with Someone.
So, What is the next step that happens when Two People lock a eye to eye contact?
Answer: Two things can happen from here.
a. Either one of them may break the eye contact by looking away.
b. Both of them Move to the Next Step. No! They do not have Verbal Communication Yet.

3. There is a Nonverbal Communication stage we go through after we actually make eye contact and before we Verbally communicate with someone.
This is the stage where we are going to apply our Practical Psychological Trick

So when two people Lock eye contact and before they say hi…. Or hello…Or Blah blah….They do a non verbal communication Ritual.
Everyone has a Non verbal way to say their hello before they Actually say their hello.
Some lift one or both their eyebrow.
Some wave their hands slightly.
Some smile in a peculiar way.
Some tilt their head slightly.

Now…can you empathize with what I am saying? If you don’t understand what I am talking about in this Step 3 then when you go out just concentrate and notice and look for this phase when you meet your neighbor…your colleague…your waiter…your billing clerk at the stores.

4. Most of us don’t even recognize this phase of Nonverbal communication signals. When a Person sends their Non verbal signal (a slight tilt of their head or a Grin or a eyebrow raise) we normally either say our verbal Hello or sometimes send our own Non verbal signal.
For example you are in your favorite restaurant and the waiter approaches you…Both of you lock eye contact….he lifts his eyebrows slightly…And you put a grin on your face…and you ask him the Menu.
The waiter is not going to like you instantly. He is not going to give his best service for you.

In your next table I am sitting comfortably. The waiter Approaches me…we lock eye contact… he does his standard lift of his eyebrows …I just copy him and lift my eyebrows the same way he did…then smile….and ask him the Menu…

I have already done my Trick. On a deeper level the waiter would be thinking that I am like him in some ways….he would like me…He would give his undivided attention and service to me, listen every word I say.
From the next table you yell ‘Waiter! just a minute’. The waiter won’t turn until I finish my conversation with him. You will be left to wonder why he is treating the Guy in the next table like a VIP and why you are invisible to him.

5. Because subconsciously at a deeper lever he perceives me as his friend(Since I matched his Non verbal Hello gesture) and you as different(since you have a different Non verbal Hello gesture).
To Summarize:
When meeting someone immediately after the initial eye contact everyone will do their non verbal gesture. It can be a slight tilt of the head, a nod, or Grin or a thousand other things. In reply our natural tendency is to do our own Non verbal gesture, which will make the other person see us different. Instead if we copy the Other Person’s non verbal gesture he will perceive us as his friend and will develop a likeness for you instantly.
Just Test this technique on random persons you meet in your real life and feel the sense of influence you exert on people. You are now empowered with the hidden knowledge of the elite few powerful people.
It is up to you to use it to the best of everybody involved.

How to not be socially awkward-Are you socially awkward by Definition

It doesn’t matter whether you are just starting to wonder if you are really socially awkward and questioning yourself ‘am i socially awkward?’ or if you have successfully convinced yourself  that you are socially awkward  long ago,this post is going to be of some help as we are going to take a detailed look from the definition to effective ways to become less socially awkward.

First take this ‘Am i really Socially Awkward’ Test Quiz

1.Do you feel restless or anxious when waiting in public for someone or something?

2.Do you feel that People are staring at you and often check whether people stare at you after doing something in social situations?You have difficulty in making and maintaining eye contact with people?

3.In social gatherings do you feel embarrassed in meeting and mingling with the guests and cling to only few people you are close to?And when your close friend goes to mingle with new people you feel self anxious and conscious and stand there without knowing what to do.

4.When you happen to share your office lift with some one from your work you anxiously wait till the lift reaches the destination to get out of the situation?If some kind of interaction takes place do you rehearse what happened in your mind for the next ten minutes?

5.When you spot someone from your workplace in a public place do you slow down or hurry up your steps to avoid meeting them and if you happen to meet them accidentally you feel socially inept ?

6.In social gatherings where you have the compulsion to interact with others and when you approach people and start communication with others do you feel Ignored? Or do you end up saying things that you should not be saying and spend the rest of the evening mulling over the incident?

7. Are the things you say to others with good intentions get misunderstood and misinterpreted by others and you feel socially inept and awkward?

8.Do you feel lonely and feel you have no meaningful relationship with others except one or two close friends?

9.Do You take a long time to come up with things to say to someone after your initial ‘hi’ and ‘hello’.Do you Run out of things to say in the middle of a conversation and the awkward silences force you to blurt out secrets or things that you are not supposed to say to them…

If you have answered most of the questions with YES or Hell Yes! then you so feel that you have socially awkward issues.Good news is that you can work on it and stop feeling awkward sooner with the right techniques and tools.

People with social awkwardness may find it a rough ride navigating the social situations and scenarios life throws at them. It’s like they are a sailor in rough seas who lost his compass.So to find their way out of rough seas and cruise to a happy island all they need is to find a Tool like a compass,or a GPS.NLP has plenty of Tools and Techniques to help overcome social awkwardness some of them so effective that you can see results after a couple of trials.

 

 

Obsession phrases -The Language of Desire- With Real life Examples

Obsession Phrases-The language of Desires or LOD  is a hot Product targeting the ‘women dating men’ Market written by the well known author Kelsey diamond but in reality a different set of Obsession Phrases do exist that can be used by men over women.The first impression anyone reading his sales page will get is that by saying some magical phrases women can get the power to influence men to fall in love and literally fall at their feet and live by their feet forever.If you ask me if obsession phrases work in real life then my short answer would be Yes,it is Real and Obsession phases do work in real life.However if someone imagines that by learning and saying a few magic words they can make a man or woman fall in love or get obsessed over them then i have bad news for them-It doesn’t work that way-Not that Easy.Obsession phrases can be made to work in real life but that requires a lot of practice and patience and trial and error before you finally see it work like a magic.The good news is that if you are ready to put in the effort and go through the Learning curve success is almost inevitable for you.

What are obsession Phrases and how and why do they work?

‘Obsession phrases-The language of Desire’ is a system that is just a small subset of Conversational Hypnosis.In simple terms…Have you ever been turned on suddenly while reading a romantic story on a book? Have you ever listened to some lyrics of a love song and felt strong emotions take you over? Like power words and phrases,There are some phrases that can trigger a state of sexual arousal in men who listen to them when said in a certain way.Some phrases are explicit while some are just plain and covert but yet they all work in achieving the objective of getting the man obsessed over the women that turns them on with it.When a women says the ‘Right’ word at the ‘right’ time  a chemical process is initiated in the man’s mind which can make him find the women ten twenty times more attractive than she is.

Have you ever met couples where one of the partner is smoking hot and attractive and intelligent while the other one looked plain and dull in comparison that left you wondering how they managed to keep the other one in his or her hook? Well,the secret is that the seemingly dull partner is having a secret trump card – The art of  communication,  when it comes to creating relationships that can last a lifetime.Accepting the influential power of words provides you both extreme capability and also extreme responsibility .Knowing what to say;when to say; and how to say
correctly and will get you everything you wanted, but neglect the
vital signs and you’ll be left sitting out in the cold in no time.

Kelsey diamond the author of ‘Obsession Phrases-The language of Desires or LOD’ starts his book with a personal story of his lady friend who is very attractive and having a successful carrier.She was in a ‘happy’ relationship with her boyfriend when her suddenly left her for another women who is not even half good in her looks and money.Women need to  understand that everything they say to a man can have massive effects in his mind even though it may not elicit any physical reaction in his face.

Chapter 1 – Understanding the Male Mental Theater.

In this chapter the author Kelsey diamond explains in detail the psychology of the Men and how special words get his mind to imagine and experience pain,pleasure and fear when a woman says it to him in the right way.Also when a woman knows to hit a man’s desire buttons with her words she is literally having him in her leash for the rest of her lifetime.He lists the Male Desire buttons and how women can bring his male mental theater to life ,with her words,that he will never consider leaving her for another woman for the fear of losing all the fun he is having with you.

Chapter 2 – The Big Secret of Obsession Phrases.

Personally this is the chapter where the real action starts to unfold and all the theory he was talking about up to this point suddenly seemed to make sense.Okay if you haven’t got a clear idea of what obsession phrases are all about you will get to have your ‘Wow!’ moments when you read the following example.

Let’s say a woman likes her man and she communicates it in words…what would she say.

‘I like you’ or ‘Like you so much’ or ‘i like you John’.

You think these words are enough to make him paint a vivid picture in his mind and get him excited and get his emotions stirred? May be if he is a teenager but if he is not you need to do much better than that.

How about…’I like the way you hold hands with me while watching horror movies in our couch.Somehow i feels more romantic and safe and happy.’

I bet you can do better than me,but you got the idea right?

 

 

 

 

Toilet phobia or anxiety and how to overcome fear of using Public Restrooms

It might be a trivial issue for most people but there are quite a few people who are scared of using  Public Toilets and they avoid using them at all cost.The magnitude of the problem may vary from person to person,some just have slight hesitations in using Toilets but use them anyway while others regularly get haunted by nightmares of unclean Toilets.Likewise the issue is across all ages from kids to teens to seniors.The Technical term for Toilet anxiety is paruresis(Fear to urinate) or parcopresis (Fear to have bowel movements in public) but i strongly advice anyone with Toilet anxiety to learn more about it.Some where i have read ‘Anything you give a name comes in to existence’.So unless your problem is so chronic that you have to take Treatment for it…you can overcome your Toilet anxiety by just making a few mental adjustments and using NLP techniques that i have shared here in this post.

We briefly mentioned the diversity of Toilet phobia but we have to analyze the different shades of the issue in detail since some can be overcome by just reading the advice and the higher magnitude cases require a few sessions of NLP mental rehearsals to make the Phobia disappear from the mind.

How a distressing negative situation helped someone to overcome fear of Public Toilets.

One of my friends is known for his fear of using public toilets in friends circle.He would sometimes enter the college bathroom and hang around there aimlessly.During the final years he suddenly became normal and showed no signs of Toilet phobia.I inquired him about his sudden change and he said after going through a recent distressing situation his perspective changed and now he has lot fear of using public toilets.

Overcome fear of public Toilet
Overcome fear of public Toilet

He told me what he called as his ‘Desparado Toilet story’ in the minutest gory detail and it made a lot of sense to me.I have told his story,with my NLP stuff embedded, to some of my clients who had similar issues and they all said that they have improved a lot after hearing this Story.

I have tried to write the same story that i tell others below,but i have to warn you that the story may be too dirty or gory for some.You proceed at your own risk.Also the story may not be free flowing but that is because i have added NLP stuff that makes it difficult to read but will stick to your mind like shit.

The story as Told by my friend below…..

I went to a remote Town with my Girlfriend to take part in a festival there.As you know i have this fear of using any Toilet other than the one in my apartment and so i avoided using the one in the old Hotel i stayed.The Toilet was pretty clean and okay yet when i sat on it Images of unclean people who used the toilet before me popped up in my mind and soon it ran like a movie.My body tightened up and i could not empty my bowel that morning. Later in that day we went to a fair where the Town festival took place and the venue was around a hour walk from my hotel.Another important thing i failed to tell is that the attendees of the fair has to be in bare foot.In the fair we drank a local drink that was famous in that part of place.Since i like it i had one more glass and before i could finish it i felt something weird happening inside my stomach.I felt like within the next thirty seconds my stomach is going to explode whether i find a toilet or not.That instant i needed a toilet badly and i prayed i find one no matter how ugly it was.Pooping in my pants while having my girlfriend around seemed a lot worse a choice than to use a dirty public toilet.I asked my girlfriend to wait and went in search of Toilet.I nearly missed the cabin that didn’t have the slightest resemblance to Toilet but the staunch of the place helped me to locate it.When i entered it and there are all kind of shit all around the place,i am talking literally here. I walked inside and there were a few urinals but only one toilet sink and as i tried to open it i realized that it was already occupied.

I pleaded to the man inside that it was very urgent for me and he came out in a few minutes.I stormed inside locked the cabin inside and removed my pants and sat down.I noticed the Toilet was not flushed and tried to flush it but there was no water.I ignored that and did what i came for.As i was sitting there i noticed that i was sitting in the most dirtiest and smelliest Toilet sink in the world in bare feet planted on the most slushy shit i have ever planted my feet on.

You know what!At that exact moment i didn’t feel the slightest disgust or anxiety or anything that anyone who know me would expect me to feel!

I felt relived. I felt happy. Funnily i felt thankful and grateful for sitting in that bathroom at the moment i needed it the most.

After that incident every time i have to use a Public Restroom i don’t feel anxious….I just think about the cabin Toilet which i call ‘Desperado Toilet’ and I feel… RELIEVED.

*****End of Story*******Attached story in .mp3 formatt

 

 

 

How to overcome negative or distorted body image

Having a negative or distorted body image is the single most factor that triggers low self esteem and social anxiety in teens and young men and women.If you have low self esteem and you can identify with what i told above there is good news for you.You can improve your confidence multi fold just by setting  goals and working towards improving the physical aspect that is worrying you.

Overcome Negative body Image
Overcome Negative body Image

Let me give examples:
One of a Teenager i knew was shy and very reserved.He had Protruding front teeth that stood out and grabbed people’s attention.When he was sixteen he started to wear braces and everybody who knew him could witness the complete transformation that he made by the time he finished college.He started socializing with other people and seniors in his college and eventually he landed in a lucrative job in one of his friend’s fathers company.That was not the end of the story,he built a very good rapport with his friends father who was the owner of the business and he landed up in the top position in his organization, that was too hot for a once shy guy.

In a family get together i asked him about his astonishing growth in a short time frame.He opened up and told how he was self conscious about his protruding teeth and how he avoided talking with people since he felt everyone was staring at his front teeth.But once he put his braces he felt inside that his problem was solved and he felt more and more confident.He had silenced his inner negative talks and overcame his self consciousness to become successful in his carrier.If you are interested to know if putting braces improved his appearance i have to quote my bad ass relative put it like this “Before putting braces he was Uglier and Poor and after he was Ugly Rich.If i have a choice i would choose ugly rich any day!”

In shorts,instead of doing nothing about your negative body image if you just start to work on the particular area that you think needs to be improved …your self image will increase multi fold.

How to help your kid or Teen to overcome negative or distorted body image

If you have a small kid you can help them to grow up with a positive body image by just complementing on their appearance.In most cases the Children who grow up with confidence and with a positive self image about themselves have parents who encourage and complement their external appearance.Likewise children suffering from a low self esteem and negative body image must be having at least once relative or Friend who regularly makes fun of the body part that they are already self conscious about.

If you have a Teen with distorted body image you can just help them to take some step to improve the physical condition and then regularly give feedback that they are improving and they look great.Let’s say you have a son who is overweight you can make him join some sport and complement about his game and improvement in his physical strength rather that commenting that he is fat.

How to break a bad habit

Habit is the thing which gets inculcated in you and sometimes you didn’t know that you are accustomed to it often. Habit exposes the world who you are? Some habits will bring you good reputation and some will give negative impact over you. So you must be very careful on choosing a habit whether it is a minor one like biting your nail or serious one like smoking or drinking. You may come across many people around you who are addicted to some bad habits and don’t even know how to get back from that. If you are a person among them and you are looking for a remedy at the moment, I can tell for sure that you have reached the correct place for rejuvenating your life after reading this article

Preparing the Mind Set

The first and the basic step to change a bad habit is to prepare yourself mentally to come back from that. This is the main thing since you should desire internally in your subconscious level. A true desire will only pave the way for complete change and nothing needed extra for your rehabilitation. You may see many people try to overcome from the habit but not succeeding. Do you know the reason for that? It’s simply due to this reason. Yes ..They are not certain. You should prepare your mind to commit fully on breaking the habit. Then only you will be succeeded.  So prepare mentally for a good change

Identifying the undesirable cause

Do you sit and think for a while anytime what is the basic reason behind the undesirable condition you are facing right now. Whatever the problem it may be, it will fall under 2 categories only.

  1. Health issues
  2. Money issues

First one is the Health or medical issues like Cancer or Liver problem and the second one is money problem. If you analyse it further deeply you will definitely come to know that these 2 issues persist in your life due to any of the bad habit like smoking/ drinking for Cancer/ Liver problem and the second one Economy problem due to the bad habit of frequent shopping, spending lavishly. Yes, spending excess beyond income is also a bad habit not thinking about the future. Am I right?

Apart from these 2 , another category is there namely behavior issue like nail biting, sucking the thumb etc..  which will not create a major issues but this also has to be controlled before it reaps into a big one. Because it will certainly damage your social image. You are admitting that Social image is very important..Right?

Ignoring the inducers/ temptation

Try to know what makes or tempts to do the habit. Remove the thing so far away from you.  If you are continuous junk food eater, take away all the items from your kitchen and put in a room where you are not visiting often like store room or an ideal room in upstairs something like that. This will reduce your number of times you indulge in the activity.

While shopping, don’t go through Junk food section side. Instead pick cereals, pulses and grains and try to cook in your own kitchen in a healthy way. It will be helpful in 2 ways. First of all, your health will not be spoiled and then you don’t have a chance to spend money lot for the health ailments causing by eating that unhealthy junk food. Do you agree?

Let you be a person who spends most of your valuable time on chatting or face book, avoid this by keeping mobile away in some other room. Or put it in Airplane mode

Avoiding the unhealthy situation

Here situation refers to various phenomena like person, place and time. Imagine your habit of drinking is induced by some particular friends or colleague. Try to keep away from them. Tell them openly that you are in the process of breaking that bad habit i.e drinking alcohol. Definitely they will make fun with you. Be strong in your decision. They will compel you but never give up your idea. Strong minds do wonders. They will force you for 3 or 4 times, after that seeing your confidence they themselves will not call you for the habit. Sometimes they don’t even call you for the party henceforth.

Like that, if you are very much tensed to indulge in the bad habits if you cross a particular place say something like a street where Wine shop is located. Don’t go that side. Instead take other direction and reach the destination. Hope there are several ways in your city to reach one particular place.

Similarly, you may feel nervous if particular time has come you accustomed for doing that habit. Say, you are a regular drinker by 8‘o clock night. Don’t panic. Calm down your frustration. You have decided you are going to change the habit and you are not going to indulge in that activity anymore. Don’t going on think the same. Instead divert your aim in some other useful ways for utilizing that time. Call your kids and play with them. Do small helps in finishing their homework. Take outing and give them a simple treat at a restaurant with your spouse also. See the happiness on the family members face. It will be a different feel what you would not have enjoyed earlier. Feel this true happiness.

Why unwantedly spending the money and spoiling your health. Think for a while if money is wasted it can be earned somehow or other but if health is spoiled? Is there anybody alternative available to fulfill your place if something has happened to you? Keep this in mind and act smartly

Make the habit unlike

Normally, you will not take a food item if u don’t like. Correct? Habits also like this only. If you make the habit unpleasant, certainly you will not do that. It’s a simple logic. At the beginning of this article, you come cross the habit of nail biting or thumb sucking. But you have not seen the remedy on that time. Many of you may wonder why I didn’t tell any solution. The reason behind is nothing but to clearly give inputs to the reader the apt technique at the right place. Nothing else other than this.

Ok. Coming to the point. Add something ugly to the habit. For nail bitter, coat the nail with any unpleasant thing which you don’t like. For practice purpose, you can coat with mud. Each time you bring your hand towards your mouth to bite the nail, you will feel uncomfortable both by that odour and the taste. Gradually you will reduce the number of times bringing hand towards the mouths and at certain stage it will be stopped by this practice at last. You can try some special products available at pharmacy also particularly to avoid this habit.

Same technique will work out for Thumb suckers too.

Be cautious always

Keep in mind that you are in the process of quitting smoking. You and your coworker are moving to coffee shop from the workplace for a break. As usual, your smoking coworker surely lights a cigar in his mouth and take other one from his pocket to you. For this instance, repeat in your mind “Quit smoking, Quit smoking”. You should be very cautious and strong in your decision. Never give up for anybody.

You better don’t go with him or else take any chewable like bubble gum or something like that instead of cigarette. Have a cup of coffee only and do some breathing exercise for refreshment. Or else, after having coffee simply move out from the smoking area by allowing your friend only to have a smoke and just take a walk around the corridor. Atleast it will be like a walking exercise.

Here, you can even ask your friend also to quit the habit and thereby both of you together will come out from the habit.

As per a recent scientific research, it is better and easy to break a habit with supporting people. Because if anybody slips, remaining person with same ideology will be there to rescue him with gratitude.

Take substitute action

Mental stress and having plenty of time not knowing what to do is the main reason for practicing bad habit. Most of the people start a habit just for time pass to get rid of their time. Eventually by continuing that it becomes so hard to them to leave the same. Choose any activity which will be benefittable for your mind and body. You can get rid of stress by hearing good music and reading good books. Why unnecessary have a bad habit and spoil the health and thereby having more stress again due to health complications. Stress cannot be taken out if you practice bad habit. It is just a temporary solution. The same problem will remain after you come out from the drug stage. Alternatively, join a gym and improve the physic. Exercise improves your stamina and give power to the body. A healthy body is essential for healthy life.

Go to a swimming class or join painting class. Learn something new in your life. It will be useful in any phase on the life.

Encourage yourself

Praise every time on overcoming the habit. Suppose you taste success in quitting smoking for the first time, show thumbs up symbol to yourself and send success signal to the brain. Your brain will expect the same the next time also and thereby you are preparing yourself for the next victory. Once your brain accustomed to this it will be easier for the next time to follow.

Only a kick start is required, remaining things will happen automatically

Set Simple goals and reward yourself

Procrastination is also a bad habit to avoid and it is not as like the above discussed matter. It is somewhat different and you have to deal with different technique by splitting the whole thing into a simpler job and concentrate on individual one. This should not be made happen immediately and so practice small small things to happen and the combined effect will give a total result.

Adjust your watch 30 minutes before and do all the activity according the adjusted time, Forget about the original time. Concentrate on your adjusted watch time only.

You joined the work out class, but not going regularly wasting the fees. Try to visit the place atleast week end on Saturdays and  Sundays. Once it is accomplished, try to visit on alternate days like Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Earlier, you were not at all going now at least five days a week. Excellent improvement.. you admit? Like this you can make the habit regular and after that you can take one day rest in a week most probably on Sundays if you want

Same is the case for Office also.

Give simple treat to yourself for each success. Definitely within a particular period of time you will become a regular attendee and may be who knows you will become the “Employee of the year”

Take a vacation

Changing a place certainly change the habit since the brain will not expect the routine activity in totally a new place. New circumstance induce the mood for a change and you will feel a fresh experience

Meditate

Meditation will bring peace and freshness to your soul. Improves your ability to overcome the bad habit. Close your eyes and breathe deeply.  Think over positively that you are getting out from the habit slowly. Imagine the fruitful results. Your imagination and continuous thinking about relieving from the habit will become true since only your imagination and thinking decides who you are.